Lost
by Vinsmouse
Summary: A case comes back to haunt one of the seven, as the others search for a missing agent, will they ever be the same again. Mag7:ATF Violence, Slash, Sexual Assault but not graphic
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Violence, Angst, Slash, Sexual Assault

Rating: FRT

Summary: A case comes back to haunt one of the seven, as the others search for one missing agent will they ever be the same again?

An answer to the weekly challenge on WWOMB, one of your characters has gone missing.

Lost

Chapter 1

Where is he? How am I ever going to make this right? Right? Hell Buck you can't make this right. The only thing you can do is find him, get him back to the rest of the guys and get out of his life. Buck couldn't stop berating himself as he searched for his friend, correction, former friend. He knew he should call the rest of the team, but what was he going to tell them? How was he going to tell them? As he thought about it, Buck realized he wouldn't have to worry about getting out of Vin'a life. If Chris didn't kill him, Josiah and Nathan would, unless they decided to let Ezra and JD finish... JD. The thought of the younger man looking at him like he was one of the criminals they routinely arrested broke his heart, ripping another piece from his soul.

He didn't know where else to look. He'd already been to Vin's apartment. After some careful questioning he'd learned that Vin had been there, but not for long. One of the kids told him that their sharpshooter had gone past them like he didn't even see them. A few minutes later, he'd come back out of his apartment, a backpack in one hand and the keys to his jeep in the other. Throwing the pack in the jeep, he'd jumped in and took off, speeding away with a loud squeal of his tires, something he rarely did and never when there were children playing in the street. Mrs. Rosario had come out then, asking if everything was alright, her deep brown eyes filled with concern for Vin. He couldn't tell her the truth, so he made up a story about needing to talk to Vin about Chris' upcoming birthday party. He knew she didn't believe him, he could see it in her eyes, but she didn't question him any further.

Though he hated to do it, Buck had called every hospital in Denver, followed by the police and the morgue. Nobody had seen Vin and there were no John Doe's matching his description.

His next stop had been Vin's camper. All he'd gotten for his trouble was a sore hip from hitting the ground, after getting tangled in one of the younger man's traps. He'd searched the area thoroughly though, in spite of the fact that the jeep wasn't in sight and there'd been no response to the rattle of cans when he'd tripped. Since then, he'd searched every other place he could think of. Even going so far as to sneak up to Chris', praying that the jeep would be there. His prayers had gone unanswered though.

Heaving a heavy sigh, Buck ran a hand through his dark hair, his deep blue eyes filled with fear and remorse. Taking out his cell phone, he finally made the call he knew should've been made hours ago. "Chris call the team together, Vin's missing," he informed his boss and best friend before he could say more than his name.

Chris had been relaxing at home, the first Saturday he'd had free in months and he was determined to enjoy it. "Damn, I knew I should've turned that off," he growled when the phone rang. "Larabee," he barked into the phone. His blood ran cold at Buck's words, the fear he heard in his friend's voice scaring him more than his words. Buck Wilmington didn't scare that easy, he also wouldn't ask for the team to be called together unless he was sure that Vin was in trouble, serious trouble. "What do ya mean missing? What happened Buck?" Chris demanded when his voice would work again.

Buck scrubbed a hand over his face, "I'll explain it when everybody's together, don't think I can tell the story more than once."

"Buck..."

"Chris please just get the team together," Buck plead, too heartsick to argue with him.

The despair in Buck's voice got his cooperation like nothing else could have. Tamping down on the fear that tried to rise up and take hold, Chris reluctantly agreed to Buck's request. "Do you want to meet at the office, or here?"

"I think the ranch would be best for now Chris. Thanks buddy," closing the phone, Buck leaned back against the seat. Moving his truck, he parked it where he could see the turn off to Chris' place, without being seen himself.

Nathan stood outside his house, pacing up and down the walk as he waited for Josiah to come and pick him up. With perfect timing, his car had refused to start, forcing him to call on his friend for help. "Damn it Tanner, what have you got yourself into now?" he mumbled as he paced.

Josiah prayed as he drove, Chris' call had him worried for both of his younger friends. He couldn't imagine what could be so bad that Buck could only tell the story once, but it scared him to the core. His years of working as a profiler were working against him this time, as his mind supplied him with all too many possible answers to the question of what had happened to Vin.

Ezra sped along the highway in his Jaguar, one hand tapping nervously on the wheel as he pressed harder on the accelerator with his sneaker clad foot. He had been planning nothing more taxing this weekend than stripping and refinishing an old coffee table he'd bought at the flea market. When Chris had called, relating the disturbing call from Buck and requesting his presence at the ranch, he hadn't hesitated. Literally dropping what he was doing, he hadn't even cared when the chemical soaked cloth had missed the plastic and landed on his wood floor. Grabbing his keys and wallet, he'd ran out of the house and jumped into his car, not even taking the time to change from his stained jeans and t-shirt.

JD was the first to arrive at Chris' ranch, having been the closest. Telling Casey he had to go, he'd been thankful that Nettie wasn't home. It had been hard enough getting out of there without answering the questions Casey had thrown at him, no way he could've gotten past Nettie Wells. They should send Nettie to Guatanomo, she'd get the answers they needed out of the terrorists being held there. Parking his motorcycle, he hurried into the house. "Chris what's going on?"

"I don't know anything more than what I told ya on the phone JD," Chris replied. "There's coffee if ya want some," he offered, nodding towards the freshly made pot. Before JD could say anything else, Ezra pulled up, quickly followed by Josiah and Nathan. Each of them came inside with the same question as JD, receiving the same reply from Chris.

Buck had watched them arriving, one by one, though he'd nearly missed the fact that Nathan was riding with Josiah. Reluctantly he turned the key, firing up the engine of his pick-up and driving down the road to Chris' ranch. The moment he stepped through the door, he was bombarded with questions about Vin as his friends crowded around him. Holding up his hands for silence, he pushed his way through them and to the coffee. Picking up the pot to pour himself a cup, he was surprised when gentle hands took the pot from his shaking hands.

"Let me do that Buck," Josiah rumbled, taking the cup as well and pouring the ladies man a generous cup.

Buck blinked, wondering where Josiah had learned to move so quietly and quickly. "Thanks Josiah," he whispered.

"You're welcome Buck." Patting him on the back, he moved away, joining the others in the living room.

Taking a deep breath, Buck swallowed a mouthful of coffee and followed him. "I know Chris already told ya Vin is missing. I already checked with all the hospitals, the police and the," he swallowed hard, "and the morgue. He's not at any of them and no John Doe's matching his description have been brought in. That's the good news," he paused.

"Out with it Buck," Chris snapped, what little patience he had was worn thin by the wait and worry.

"I went by his place, he had been there. The kids said he went past them like he didn't even see 'em and when he left he squealed his tires and sped off, even though there were kids playing outside."

"That don't sound like Vin," JD noted, his voice laced with worry.

"No it doesn't," Josiah agreed. Glancing around the room, he saw Nathan and Chris nodding in agreement. Only Ezra was still watching Buck, bringing Josiah's attention back to the man who stood in front of them, nervously running his fingers around the rim of his coffee cup.

"What other locales have you visited in your search for our wayward sharpshooter?"

"I've looked everywhere I can think of, he ain't nowhere to be found. Or he ain't nowhere I can find him," he softly added.

"Buck why are you so worried about Vin? It sounds like he left of his own free will."

"He did Josiah, but it's why he left and what he might do that has me worried."

Chris narrowed his eyes, looking his old friend over carefully. "Just why did he leave Buck?" he asked, a hard edge to his voice.

"You remember David Spencer?"

The name seemed familiar, but he couldn't quite place it. "I'm sorry Buck, I don't remember."

Buck sighed, "I guess I shouldn't be surprised. It was about a year before you called me, wanting me to work on team 7. I was still with the Denver PD then, we had a real ugly case we were working. Several young male prostitutes had been tortured and raped, the last two had died at the hospital. We finally got the break we needed, our perp went after one of the undercovers we had working the area and we got him red-handed."

"David Spencer?"

"Not exactly," Buck said. "The rapist had drugged our cop, Spencer, not enough to knock him out, just enough to make him easy to handle. He got him out of sight, into one of the warehouses that littered the area. We didn't realize he'd been taken until...we heard him screaming as that bastard raped him. Soon as we knew what was happening, we started searching for him. We got there before the bastard could do anything else, but it was still too late to save him," Buck added, tears in his eyes.

"He was dead?" JD asked, his face pale as he listened to Buck's story.

"Not then, but he was damaged in ways that he never healed from. He tried to stay on the force, but he couldn't do it, always felt like everybody was looking at him, judging him. Six months ago he killed himself."

"That's unfortunate brother Buck, but what has that got to do with Vin?"

"I'm getting to that Josiah," Buck snapped. "Sorry," he immediately apologized, it wasn't Josiah's fault. "I didn't know that he was gone until last night."

"Vin?" JD asked.

"No JD, I mean David Spencer. His brother called me last night, it'd taken him that long to find me. He said at first he didn't even try, too grief-stricken to think of anything else. Once he did start thinking about it though, he knew he had to find me. He said it was the only way he could ever have any peace."

"Look Buck I'm real sorry to hear about this cop, but would you get to the point?" Chris growled, his patience at an end.

Buck jumped, though he wasn't really surprised by Chris' impatience. "Y'all know JD spent the night at Nettie's last night. He claimed Casey was scared to be by herself with her aunt out of town," he automatically teased. "Vin called a couple hours after JD left, the heat in his building had went out and he wanted to know if could stay with us for the night. I wish I'd told him no, but I didn't have any way of knowing what would happen. Calm down Chris, I'm getting to it, ain't easy," he placated before the blond could snap at him again.

"What did happen Buck?" Ezra quietly asked.

"David Spencer wasn't just an undercover cop, he was my partner at the time. He hadn't been working homicide very long, still pretty green but he trusted me to look out for him. I let him down," Buck softly added. "Like I said his brother called last night, he wasn't just calling to give me the news, he had something else in mind."

"He blamed you for what happened to his brother?" Nathan asked.

"Yeah," came the quiet confirmation. "He was right too, I should've been looking out for the kid better," Buck accused himself. "He ranted at me for a while about what had happened to David, telling me it should've been me that had died. There was times he was making perfect sense, in a twisted sort of way, but most of the time he was just ranting and not making any sense at all. Finally he seemed to calm down and I thought maybe he'd just needed to vent. I can't believe I was that stupid! I should've seen it coming, if I had Vin wouldn't be out there right now..."

"Seen what coming Buck?" Chris asked, a chill traveling up his spine.

"Spencer went real quiet and then he said that when he'd started searching for me, he'd been planning to kill me. He said he was in the perfect spot to do it too, that he had a scope centered on the window right that moment. I didn't believe him of course, until he started describing what I was wearing and describing the loft."

"Hell Buck he could've seen ya coming home and for all you know he'd broken into the loft so he'd know the layout," Chris pointed out.

"That's what I thought Chris, until he started describing Vin too. He told me exactly where Junior was sitting and what he was doing. Hell he even described the worried look on his face as he listened to my end of the conversation. Before I had a chance to think about moving he told me if I didn't do exactly as he told me, he'd drop Vin where he sat. There wasn't anything I could do Chris, Vin was sitting in front of the patio doors, the bastard had a perfect target. He said that if Vin tried to move from in front of the doors, he'd shoot him. I couldn't risk it, please y'all have to understand I didn't have a choice. I couldn't let him kill Vin, anything was better than that," Buck begged for their forgiveness.

"What did he want you to do?" Chris asked for them all.

"I...he thought Vin was my partner, he knew he was at least my friend. The way he saw it I got David, my partner raped, which led to him killing himself. He said that now that he was here, he'd decided there was a better revenge than killing me. Something that was more fitting than death..."

"Something that explains why Vin took off?"

"He told me if I didn't, if Vin moved away from the doors, if I did anything to get Vin out of the line of fire, he'd kill him."

"Goddamn it Buck, what did he want you to do?" Chris yelled.

"He told me that if I wanted Vin to live, I had to..." Buck looked around the room at his friends, knowing he was about to lose them all. Of course he deserved to lose them, he could only hope that they'd let him stay long enough to know that Vin was safe. Maybe he would even have the chance to apologize for what he'd done, not that it would help. "He told me to rape Vin or watch him die," he finally got out.

TBC

I hope y'all liked the first chapter of my story. Please feed the muses with reviews.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own the Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Slash, Violence, Sexual Assault

Rating: FRT

Lost

By: Vinsmouse

Chapter 2

Vin sat on a mountain ledge, staring blindly at the majestic scenery laid out before him. Closing his eyes, he tried to clear his mind, only to be confronted with nightmare images. He didn't understand. Why had Buck done this to him? He thought he could trust him, all of them, now he wondered if he'd ever known any of his friends. How could he have been so wrong about Buck? What did it mean for his other friendships?

The evening had been going fine, they'd been watching a movie, some old western, when the phone rang. He didn't eavesdrop on Buck's conversation, but he'd been unable to avoid hearing the anxiety and stress in his friend's voice. He'd shot a worried glance towards the older man, catching his eye and receiving a reassuring nod to his unasked question. Returning his attention to the movie, he purposely tuned out Buck's phone call, giving him some semblance of privacy. Then the call had ended and within minutes his world had been turned upside down.

"You okay?" Vin asked Buck when he rejoined him on the couch.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Buck snapped.

Vin gave his friend a measured look. If he hadn't known before, he certainly knew now that something was indeed wrong. "I'm here if ya want to talk," he quietly offered. He was careful not to push Buck, while at the same time letting him hear the concern in his voice. For several minutes neither man spoke, both lost in his own thoughts. Vin nearly jumped out of his skin when Buck's hand landed on his thigh, slowly moving upward.

"Maybe talking ain't what I want," Buck whispered, leaning in closer to Vin, crowding him against the end of the couch

"What are ya doing Buck?" Vin squeaked.

"Come on Vin, ya ain't that innocent," Buck scoffed, pressing against him.

He had fought back, but he couldn't get the leverage he needed. The entire attack had been surreal. As Buck worked to rid them both of their clothes, he had kissed and nuzzled Vin's neck gently, almost reverently. None of it made sense, how could he rape him while treating him with love and tenderness. Shaking his head, Vin reminded himself again that it was rape, he hadn't wanted what Buck had forced on him. The fact that he had been gentle, had tried not to hurt him, didn't change anything. Shuddering, Vin wished he could block out the next images that came into his mind. As though he had been standing outside himself, he saw his body lying on the couch, Buck pinning him to the surface. A sudden jolt of pain as fire raced through his backside, slammed him back into his body with sudden force. That was the last thing Vin remembered of the attack.

His next memory had been waking up in the bed of the guest room early the next morning, Buck seated in a nearby chair, thankfully sleeping. Carefully he had climbed from the bed, surprised to see that he was once again fully clothed, quietly he left the room. Once in the next room, he slipped on his shoes, making his escape. He knew he should go to the hospital, but he didn't want anybody to touch him. Vin knew he should report the attack, he didn't though, his years of living on the streets having taught him that the police wouldn't care. He didn't notice the irony of that thinking, at the moment he was operating on instinct alone. Instinct that was telling him to head for the high country, go somewhere to lick his wounds and consider his next move.

"Buck? Tell me you didn't..." JD plead with the man he considered an older brother.

"I wish I could JD," Buck sighed. "I tried to make it as easy on him as I could, but I had to do what Spencer said or watch Vin die."

"How long?" Josiah boomed.

"About six months now," Buck replied.

JD looked between them, he wondered if he was the only one missing something here, "What are you two talking about?"

"That's a good question JD," Chris glared at his oldest friend.

"I believe Mr. Dunne, that Mr. Sanchez is asking Mr. Wilmington how long he's been attracted to Mr. Tanner," Ezra offered.

"That's crazy Ezra," JD immediately protested. "Buck's a ladies man, everybody knows that."

"It ain't crazy JD," Buck interrupted. "I ain't strictly a ladies man and I've been attracted to Vin from the moment I met him, I've been in love with him for six months," he clarified.

"We will find him brother," Josiah assured him, understanding now just how hard this was for Buck. "You will have the chance to explain."

"One has to ask, why didn't you explain last night. I assume that Mr. Spencer would have left after the deed was done."

"I was going to Ezra, I didn't get the chance," Buck miserably explained.

"Goddamn it Buck!" Chris exploded. "Are you telling us Vin's been missing since last night and you waited until eleven o'clock this morning to call us?" Chris stood toe to toe with Buck, glaring at him, his eyes as cold as ice. There had only been one other time in his life that he had felt this kind of rage, and Buck had been a part of that too.

"No, god Chris, do ya really think I'd let that boy wander around, hurt and confused for that long?" Though he understood his friend's anger, Buck couldn't help being hurt by the doubt and accusation in Chris' voice. "After...Vin was out of it, shock I guess. I didn't know what to do, I tried to bring him out of it, but well I guess I wasn't the best person for that job. I checked him out, made sure I hadn't done any serious damage. Don't worry Nathan, there was a little bit of tearing, but nothing bad. I decided that after what I'd done I couldn't just take him to a hospital, not when he couldn't say yes or no. It felt like it would be another violation, so I got him dressed and I put him to bed in the spare room. I sat down in the chair we keep in there, figured I could talk to him when he came out of the state he was in. I must've fallen asleep at some point, next thing I knew it was eight in the morning and Vin was gone. I started looking right away, but well like I told ya I ain't had no luck." Buck looked around the room at the five men, men that until today he'd called friends, brothers, and he knew that his time with them was at an end. As for Vin, the most he could hope for was to be given the chance to explain, forgiveness wasn't even in the cards. "Can we please start looking for him now?"

"You think we're gonna let you near him?"

Buck's head snapped around. He had expected that from Chris, maybe Nathan, but not JD. "I ain't asking ya to leave me alone with him JD. I'm sure he wouldn't want that anyway, I'm just asking for the chance to help find him. Give me the chance to explain things to him," he all but begged them.

"He deserves the chance to explain JD, and Vin deserves to hear it from Buck, not us," Josiah quietly pointed out.

"Fine," JD snapped. "How are we gonna do this?" he asked, refusing to look at Buck. On some level he knew he was being unfair, but he couldn't seem to help himself. As he turned his back on his big brother, JD fleetingly wondered if he was angry because of what Buck did or what he felt for Vin. Pushing that thought aside, he reminded himself that Buck had betrayed Vin in the worst way possible.

"Tell us every place you checked Buck," Chris ordered. He was angry too, but unlike JD he was able to understand the horrible position Buck had found himself in. Though there was some anger towards his friend for not finding a way to avoid it, most of his anger was aimed at David Spencer's brother.

Buck quickly told them where he'd already been and what he'd found in each place. Though he hadn't found Vin, he hoped that maybe one of the other's would pick up on some clue he'd missed. Something that would point them in the direction Vin had gone. He had to find him, to explain why he'd been hurt by a man he'd trusted.

"Alright, here's what we're gonna do then. JD, you and Nathan are going to search these places," Chris ordered, writing down a list of places for them to check. Dividing up the rest of the places he thought Vin was likely to go, he gave one list to Josiah, ordering Buck to go with him. The remainder he and Ezra would search. "Check in every hour, unless you find him or something to tell us where he is." A chorus of yes sir's rang out as the men grabbed coats and car keys, heading out to find their missing friend.

"Nathan, do you think Vin's gonna be okay?" JD asked an hour into their search.

Nathan sighed, they'd just found out that none of the others had found Vin yet either and he didn't know how to answer the question. "I don't know JD," he finally admitted. "You heard what Buck said, if he's right then physically he'll probably be alright. I'm more concerned with what this is doing to him emotionally."

"Do ya think Buck is telling the truth?"

Nathan looked at JD, startled by the question. "Don't you?"

"I don't know," JD sighed. Turning his head, he stared out the window at the passing scenery. "Maybe if Buck wasn't attracted to Vin I wouldn't wonder about it."

"I don't pretend to understand it JD, but Buck didn't say he was just attracted, he said he was in love with him," Nathan reminded him. "Do you really think he'd willingly hurt anybody, especially somebody he loves?"

"I didn't used to think so, but I never thought he'd be in love with a man either. I just can't help wondering if maybe he made this Spencer guy up so he could do what he wanted to and..."

"And what JD?" Nathan snapped. "I can't believe you're even thinking something like that. You know Buck better than anybody how can..."

"I thought I did, now I'm not so sure."

Nathan's hand slammed down against the steering wheel. "Thought you were Buck's best friend JD, his little brother?"

"I..."

"I don't want to hear it JD," Nathan interrupted him. "I don't know if Vin will ever forgive Buck for what he did, but it wouldn't surprise me if he does. That boy is the most forgiving man I ever met and once he knows the whole story I think he'll try to get past it. Now are you gonna be a smaller man than the one man who has the right to never forgive?" Turning up the radio, Nathan cut off any possibility of further discussion, leaving JD alone with his thoughts.

Josiah watched Buck, his blue eyes filled with worry and fear for both of his friends. He'd seen the frantic way Wilmington had searched for Vin. Each failure seeming to take a little more out of him, his shoulders slumping lower as their sharpshooter continued to remain hidden. They hadn't spoken more than half a dozen words between them while they searched. He'd tried, but their resident lothario didn't have any interest in hearing any words of comfort or absolution. Like Nathan, he knew that Vin was a very forgiving soul, thank God for that. With the life he'd lived, the things he'd suffered as a child, Josiah knew Vin would've been a much different type of man if he wasn't able to forgive. He prayed silently that his young friend's gift wouldn't desert him now when he needed it most and that Buck would be able to accept it when Vin offered the forgiveness he needed.

"I must confess Mr. Larabee I am at a loss as to where to search next." Ezra knew that Chris didn't really need him to confirm they were at a dead end, but the continued silence was unnerving him. Three hours into the search and nobody had found any sign of Vin, not even a hint of a clue to point them in the right direction. He and Chris had arrived at this high mountain outcropping, overlooking a pristine lake, half an hour ago. It had only taken minutes to determine that Vin wasn't here, hadn't been here for a while, since then Chris had been staring at the water.

"There's got to be somewhere, something we've forgotten about," unsaid were the words, I've forgotten. Nobody could wear guilt like Chris Larabee, with each failure his guilt had grown. Guilt that he hadn't seen how Buck felt for Vin, something he could've talked to the sharpshooter about. He alone of the team knew that Tanner was bi-sexual, who knew what would've happened if he'd known how Buck felt. "I should've seen it," he mumbled.

"Seen what? Are you prescient now Mr. Larabee?"

"No of course not..."

"Then how could you have possibly known this would happen?"

"I should've seen that Buck was attracted to Vin, is in love with him."

"What difference would it have made if you had known?"

"I could've told Vin about it, maybe if he'd known him and Buck would've even gotten together."

"Do you have reason to believe Mr. Tanner would have been amenable to receiving Mr. Wilmington's attentions?"

Chris threw a startled glance Ezra's way, looking suspiciously like a deer caught in the headlights. "This don't go any further Ezra!"

"Oh of course not," Ezra promised, miming turning a key in a lock as he pressed his lips together, tossing the key aside.

"Yeah I got reason to think Vin might've gone for it. Can't be sure, but who knows."

"You're thinking is that if he had known, perhaps the two of them would have been a couple, in which case Spencer's plan wouldn't have work as well?"

"Something like that. Hell I don't know," Chris cursed, running his fingers through his hair. "Guess it don't matter now, they weren't together and now Vin is out there somewhere," he waved his hand in an encompassing manner. "He's hurting Ezra, feeling lost and alone, betrayed. How the hell are we going to fix this?"

"I don't know, but we will find a way. I would suggest that you remember one very important word in your question."

"What's that?"

"We," Ezra answered simply, for once not expounding upon his statement.

Chris nodded, "Thanks Ez," he smiled, clapping the smaller man on the shoulder. "Hey Ezra, what would you say Vin is like right now?" he suddenly asked, his eyes focused on something behind Ezra.

"What?" taken by surprise, he didn't know how to answer the question. Turning his head, he smiled as he saw a small red fox watching them warily from the safety of the trees. "A wild animal," he answered, understanding now.

"A wounded, wild animal and where does our resident falcon prefer to be?"

"Up high..." a look of comprehension passed over Ezra's face as he snapped his fingers. "He'd head for the highest spot he could find."

"Yep, and I think I know where that would be, come on."

Quickly they made their way back to the truck. Chris barely gave the engine the chance to engage before throwing the large vehicle into gear and taking off for the spot he hoped to find Vin. They didn't talk on the way, both of them focusing on finding Vin and somehow fixing the small family they'd built with team seven.

Chris grinned when he pulled up to the end of the road, there was Vin's jeep parked to the side. Parking behind him, Chris climbed from the truck and led the way up the path, following the tracks Vin had left on the trail. Now that he was close to finding Vin, he hoped he could find a way, that they could find a way to help him.

TBC

Hope y'all liked this chapter, please feed the muses with reviews. Take care, Merry Christmas.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own the Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Slash, Sexual Assault, Violence

Rating: FRT

Lost

Chapter 3

"Back off," the snapped order, accompanied by the sound of a round being jacked into the chamber, froze Chris and Ezra in their tracks.

"Vin put the gun down," Chris ordered in his most authoritative voice.

"No," Vin stubbornly refused, keeping the gun leveled at the two men.

Chris swallowed hard, his mind racing with ways to get through to Vin. "We need to talk Vin, without the gun between us."

"Can talk just fine now," Vin insisted, the gun never wavering.

"Damn it Vin, put the gun down!"

"Why should I?" came the snarled response.

"Mr. Larabee, might I make a suggestion?"

"What?"

"As we discussed earlier, Mr. Tanner is responding instinctively," he quietly replied, being careful not to let Vin hear him.

Vin watched them, his eyes dark with suspicion as they spoke. Unable to hear them, his mind was filled with the various ways they could disarm him. Instinctively, he began to form plans to counteract whatever they might try.

"What's your point Ezra?"

"Perhaps challenging and ordering him isn't the best way to achieve our goals."

"Point taken." Turning back to Vin, Chris made a point of looking slightly down as he spoke. "Vin we'd be a lot more comfortable if you'd put the gun down."

"I bet you would," Vin snapped. "Make it easier wouldn't it?"

Glancing at Ezra, Chris wondered if the con man was as confused as he was.

"What would it make easier Mr. Tanner?"

"You know what," Vin replied, his voice heavy with accusation.

"I confess I don't and I doubt Mr. Larabee has any clearer idea than I."

"Ezra's right Vin, I don't know what you mean."

"Do y'all think I'm stupid? Think I don't know what ya want?" he spat at them.

"You think...god Vin how could ya think we'd want that?" Chris asked as realization hit him with sickening clarity.

"I assure you Mr. Tanner you couldn't be further from the truth."

"How could I think...why wouldn't I think it? Didn't think Buck would ever do anything like that either, why should you be any different?"

Chris' eyes widened, damn, he should've thought of this. "I don't know how to convince ya cowboy, all I can offer ya is my word that I won't hurt you."

"It ain't enough," Vin softly uttered words he never thought he'd say to Chris.

"Have I ever given you any reason to doubt me?" Chris calmly asked, while inside he raged against Spencer and the damage he'd done.

"No," Vin grudgingly admitted.

"Then trust me now, we just want to talk to ya Vin, I promise."

Vin nodded, "Sit down," he ordered, using the barrel of the gun to point at a spot several feet away from him.

Relieved that they were making some progress, however small, Chris moved to where Vin indicated and sat down. A moment later he was joined by Ezra, in spite of the mumbled complaints about sitting in the dirt.

Feeling safer now, Vin remained standing. "What do ya want to talk about?"

"We want ya to come back with..."

"No! I ain't going back there, I ccan't."

"I know you're hurting Vin, but things aren't like they seem. Please come back to the ranch with us."

"Ain't like they seem? So Buck didn't ra...hurt me? He didn't use me? Didn't ignore me when I asked him, begged him to stop?"

Chris flinched at the raw anguish in Vin's voice, silently vowing to track down the man responsible and kill him; slowly. "He did, but there's more going on than you know about."

Vin stared at Chris, hurt, even as he told himself he shouldn't be surprised by Chris' defense of Buck's actions. Glancing at Ezra, he could see by the look in his eyes that he agreed with Chris. "Y'all just go on back to your lives," he tiredly sighed.

"You are a part of our lives Mr. Tanner, therefore we can't go back to them without you."

Chris shot Ezra a surprised look before turning his attention back to Vin. "Ez is right cowboy. Please come back with us, let us help you through this."

He breathed a heavy sigh, lowering the gun. "I can't hear 'em Chris."

"Can't hear who Vin?" Chris quietly asked. Now that the gun had been lowered he noticed for the first time how close to the cliff's edge Vin stood, igniting a new fear in his soul.

"My spirit animals, they ain't talking to me. I been trying to talk to 'em, trying to find answers, but they won't respond."

As Chris listened to the raspy voice, filled with misery, his heart broke for the younger man. "Then come back with us Vin, let us help you if they won't."

Vin eyed him suspiciously, "You just want to help?"

"Yes Vin," Chris quickly confirmed.

"Ya ain't gonna try to, you ain't just waiting to take your turn?"

"No! No Vin," he went on, his voice quieter now. "I don't want to hurt you, none of us do and we won't let anybody else hurt you either. No matter who it is, I promise ya cowboy. Please trust us Vin, trust me," he plead.

Cursing himself for a fool, Vin reluctantly nodded, agreeing to return to the ranch. "I ain't giving up my gun," he firmly told them.

"That's fine Vin, you keep your gun if it makes you feel safer, but you won't need it."

"Y'all go first, I'll be right behind you." He'd return to the ranch, give Chris a chance to explain the unexplainable, but he wasn't going to put himself in a vulnerable position if he could help it.

With a curt nod, Chris turned and led the way down the path to the vehicles. He wondered if Vin would really come to the ranch and if he did, would he stay when he saw Buck's truck? Thinking it over, he realized that they needed some way to insure that Vin wouldn't run off before Buck could explain about Spencer. "Hey Vin, would you mind if Ezra rides with you?"

Vin raised an eyebrow, shooting him a nervous glance. "What's wrong with your truck?"

"It's too damned small for both of us," Chris growled.

"Indeed," Ezra agreed. "You would be doing me a great favor if you would allow me to ride with you Mr. Tanner. One might say you would be saving my life," he smoothly added.

"Alright, I guess ya can ride with me."

The easy acceptance raised Chris' worry another notch. There was no way the Vin Tanner he knew wouldn't have seen through their simple ruse. Soon they arrived back at the vehicles. Climbing behind the wheel of his truck, Chris started it, turning around so that he was headed back to the main road. Starting the engine, he waited for Vin to pull in behind him. Carefully he navigated his way back to the main road. Once there, he called Nathan on his cell phone, explaining what had happened before asking him to call Josiah and fill him in.

Following behind Chris, Vin was so busy watching Ezra and the road, he didn't notice anything Chris was doing. The closer they got to the ranch, the whiter Vin's knuckles grew as his grip on the wheel tightened. A hard jerk of the wheel brought his jeep to the side of the road, the tires sliding as he slammed on the brakes.

"Mr. Tanner...Vin, are you alright?"

"Hell no!"

"I'm sorry that was an incredibly stupid question," Ezra quietly apologized.

"I can't do this Ez," brown curls bounced, as his chin dropped to his chest, hiding his face from view.

"I must confess I am surprised, I never suspected you would fail to live up to the name Tanner."

"You son of a bitch," Vin snarled, turning rage filled blue eyes on him.

"Would you have me believe a Tanner would run?"

"Damn it!" the snarled curse and the slap of skin against the steering wheel were the only sounds to be heard. "You got no right to judge me, no right to accuse me of that."

"Vin you're my friend, I want to help you and letting you run away wouldn't be accomplishing that goal. You may hate me if you must, curse me if it will ease your pain but I won't apologize for using any weapon at my disposal in my effort to help you. The question now is; will you live up to the name Tanner and continue on to Mr. Larabee's ranch, or will you tuck your tail between your legs and run?" 

The atmosphere at the ranch was tense with anticipation and anxiety as the men waited for Chris, Vin and Ezra to arrive. After speaking to Chris, Nathan hadn't wasted time telling JD what had happened, letting him hear it as he told Josiah. The young computer expert had glared at him as he heard the things Chris had told him. Turning away from Nathan, he had stared out the window, refusing to talk to the medic as they drove to Chris' ranch. Jackson had tried a couple of times to draw the younger man out, but JD had refused to talk.

When they had arrived, Buck and Josiah were already there, bringing a snarl of anger from JD. The car had barely stopped when JD threw open the door. Rushing into the house, he stalked up to Buck, punching him hard in the mouth. He smiled in grim satisfaction when Buck hit the floor.

"You feel better JD?" Buck asked from the floor, rubbing his sore jaw.

"You shouldn't be here Buck."

"I need to explain things to Vin..."

"You think he's gonna believe this bullshit story you're throwing around?"

"You think I'm lying?" Buck didn't move from the floor, he couldn't move, JD's words hitting him like a blow to the stomach.

Josiah and Nathan exchanged a concerned glance as the scene unfolded before them. Neither man moved though, willing to let Buck and JD work this out, but ready to move in if needed.

"Seems awful convenient that some man shows up and hands you what you wanted."

"I would never do that JD, not willingly and especially not to somebody I care about."

"We're supposed to just take your word for it?"

"It's always been enough before."

"That was when I thought I knew who you were."

Buck finally climbed to his feet, looking down at the man who was a little brother to him in all but name. "So is this about your concern for Vin, or your hurt feelings?"

"What are you talking about Buck? Why would my feelings be hurt?" JD's eyes danced around the room as he spoke, suddenly uncomfortable under Buck's intense gaze.

"Because I never told you that I like men as well as women? Cause I never told you how I feel about Vin?"

"I don't care about that," JD protested.

"Don't you?"

JD huffed out an exasperated breath. "Well then, why didn't ya tell me?"

"Because for starters it ain't none of your business how I feel about Vin. Second, I wasn't about to tell you or anybody else until I told Vin. The only reason you know now is cause of what Spencer forced me to do. Third, I don't make a secret of liking men, but I don't go around announcing it either. Besides, I mostly do go for the ladies. I'm a little more particular about the men I go for."

"You ain't never, um, thought about me..."

Buck chuckled, "JD that'd be about as close to incest as I could get. I ain't never thought of you as anything but a brother. You're a good looking man, but I just never thought of you as anything else, just my annoying little brother, who has lousy tastes in hats."

JD sighed, he was beginning to feel more than just a little foolish. "This Spencer character, he really does exists, doesn't he?"

"Yeah JD, I wish he didn't, but he's real."

"I'm sorry Buck, I never should've doubted you."

"It's alright JD, I can't really blame ya."

Back on the roadside, Vin stared ahead at Chris' truck parked ahead, on the road leading to his ranch, waiting for Vin to make the turn. "Ya don't play fair, you know that Ez?"

"I have been accused of such before, did you have a point?" Ezra dryly asked.

Vin sighed heavily, "I can't turn away, not if I'm gonna live up to being a Tanner. It's all I've got Ez, all I've had for as long as I can remember and I ain't letting Buck take that away from me." With renewed determination, Vin threw the jeep into gear and pulled back onto the road, turning onto Chris' road a moment later. Bracing himself for what was to come, he let his Tanner pride keep him going as he edged ever closer to the ranch. The sight of Buck's truck parked in the drive nearly destroyed his resolve, a small tsking noise from Ezra reminded him of what was at stake. Parking his jeep, he glared at the house, letting the anger he felt come to the forefront, he pushed the fear to the back of his mind. Slowly he unpeeled his fingers from the steering wheel, absently massaging his stiffening hands as he climbed from the vehicle.

"You can do this Vin," Chris encouraged him.

Vin nodded, swallowing hard as he spotted JD looking out the window at them. "You promise ya ain't brought me here so's y'all can..." he trailed off, unable to complete the question.

"I only want to help ya Vin, that's all any of us want."

"Why's Buck here then?"

"There's some things he needs to explain to you."

"You expect me to forgive him?" Vin snapped. His anger growing, anger at Buck for what he'd done, anger at Chris for expecting him to forgive the man, anger at the others for expecting the same thing. He wondered, not for the first time, why it was always him that was expected to forgive everybody for the things they did to him?

"No Vin, I only want you to listen to him. It's up to you if you forgive him and I wouldn't blame you a bit if you couldn't."

Startled, Vin stared at Chris, his jaw moving but no sound came out. "Really?" he finally managed to whisper. A nod confirmed the older man's words and Vin felt a bit of the load he carried lifting. The anger wasn't entirely gone though, especially the anger, no rage, at Buck . Squaring his shoulders, he slowly walked towards the house, letting Chris and Ezra go inside first. Taking a deep breath, he stepped through the door, stopping just inside the living room. His heart began to race with fear as he looked around the room, his breathing quickly growing ragged.

"Vin are you...I'm glad you're here," Buck softly spoke, taking two steps towards the younger man.

He heard Buck's voice, but he had no idea what he was saying as a roaring sound filled his ears. Vin's eyes widened with fear when Buck took a step and then another. With a cry of pure fear, he pulled the gun from his waistband firing one shot. Amid the sounds of surprise and one of pain, the gun fell from nerveless fingers as Vin's mind, overcome with too much stress shut down and he collapsed to the floor like a puppet with its strings cut.

TBC.

Yes I am evil and thank you for noticing. ;) Please feed the muse with reviews and I'll try to update soon.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own The Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Slash

Rating: FRT

Lost

Chapter 4

For a moment time stood still as five men watched the events play out before their horrified eyes. As though a switch were flipped, time sped forward the moment both Buck and Vin hit the floor, a red stain spreading over the side of Buck's shirt. With practiced steps the five moved into action; Chris was at Vin's side in an instant, checking the younger man for any injuries, while Nathan moved to Buck's side and the other's gathered a first aid kit and blankets.

"JD call an ambula..."

"No!" Buck immediately countermanded Nathan's order.

"Buck ya need to go to the hospital," Nathan argued. "JD go on now," shooing the younger man towards the phone.

"Damn it Nathan no!" Buck glanced over at JD, standing with his hand on the phone. "JD I don't need an ambulance, it ain't that bad."

"Now look Buck, I know it's just a graze but it's deep enough ya need stitches and it needs to be debrided," Nathan tried again.

"You do it," Buck ordered. "Chris, how's Vin?" he asked before Nathan could say more, his concern for the sharpshooter greater than any worry for himself.

"I ain't a doctor but I think it's just exhaustion and stress that made him pass out. Pulse seems steady, but a little fast, his skin is a little clammy, but otherwise he seems fine."

"Nathan, what's that sound like to you?"

Nathan sighed, he swore some days these men were gonna be the death of him. "Sounds like Chris is probably right, but we should take him in to be checked out too if he don't come to in a few minutes."

"I ain't going to the hospital Nate."

"Damn it Buck, ya need a doctor," Nathan snapped, exasperated with the man.

"No, I ain't..."

"Brother Buck, why is it you don't want to go to the hospital?" Josiah interrupted. He knew Nathan only had Buck's best interest at heart, but sometimes he could get so wrapped up in medical needs, he forgot to look at anything else.

"Don't encourage him Josiah," Nathan growled.

"I've hurt him enough," Buck quietly replied.

"How is it going to hurt him Buck if you go to the hospital?"

"They have to report gunshot wounds, don't they? What do ya suppose happens to him when the police start investigating?"

Exchanging guilty glances, all five dropped their eyes to the floor. It wasn't something any of them had thought about. For several minutes nobody spoke as they tried to come up with a way around the problem. They knew they couldn't claim it was a simple accident, something that happened while Vin was cleaning his gun, nobody would buy that.

"I ain't gonna do anything else to hurt him," Buck added. "You clean it out and stitch it up Nathan, please."

"I see your point Buck, but I don't like it."

"You'll do it then?"

Nathan sighed, nodding his head. "Let's get you into the bathroom, it'll be easiest to do it there. Chris, Ezra, y'all keep working on getting Vin up. JD, you fix some strong coffee for him, add lots of sugar. It helps with shock and I'd bet he's suffering from that, at least a little. Josiah, can you help me with Buck?"

"Come on Buck," Josiah rumbled, wrapping his arm around his waist and helping him to his feet.

Ten minutes later Vin finally moaned, just as Chris was about to haul him out to his truck. "Vin, that's it cowboy, open them eyes for me," Chris encouraged.

Vin could hear Chris' voice, but it sounded like it was coming through a tunnel. Keeping his eyes screwed tightly shut, he tried to make sense of what was happening. Why was he passed out on the floor? Did he have too much to drink? Had he been shot? Quickly he dismissed both ideas, there wasn't any pain in the right places and either condition would've had him in a world of hurt. "What happened?" he mumbled, a familiar ache flaring to life the moment he moved.

"Don't ya remember?" Chris asked, exchanging a worried glance with Ezra. Jerking his head towards the hall, he silently gave his orders.

With a short nod, Ezra stood and headed for the bathroom to get Nathan. He couldn't help wondering what they would do if Vin didn't remember what had happened to him. Would they tell him that Buck had raped him? Sure that if they did tell their sharpshooter the truth the team would disintegrate, Ezra was all for lying to him.

"Wouldn't ask if I did," Vin snipped, fear over what he felt driving him.

"Not real sure what's going on Vin," Chris finally responded. "Why don't we get you over to the couch for now, okay?"

"Yeah," came the whispered reply. Letting Chris help him to his feet, Vin leaned against the blond as they made their way to the couch. "Why do I feel like this?"

"Like what cowboy?" Chris asked as he lowered the younger man to the couch.

Sighing, he ignored the pain he felt, focusing instead on the rest of it. "Feels like the morning after the night before, like my brain's wrapped in cotton and my legs are made of jello."

"You're just exhausted Vin." Looking up he caught JD's eye, holding out his hand he accepted the hot cup of coffee from him. "Vin? JD made ya some coffee, think you could drink some?"

"JD?"

"What ya need Vin?" JD anxiously asked.

"Did ya put plenty of sugar in it?"

"Just the way you like it Vin."

"Thanks kid," he rasped, taking the cup from Chris and slowly sipping it. "Damn JD, how much sugar did you put in this?"

"Since when don't you like sugar Vin?" Chris asked, trying to hold back his laughter.

"I like sugar, but damn cowboy I think he used half the sugar bowl," Vin complained, trying to hand the cup back to Chris.

"No, you drink that," Chris refused. "You need it, sugar and all."

"What's going on Chris?" Vin eyed him suspiciously.

Chris sighed, "What do ya remember?"

Vin thought about it. He could remember coming home and finding out the heat was out. He thought he had called Buck, but if that were true then how did he end up at Chris' ranch? "Heat was out, I called Buck, didn't I?"

"Yeah you did."

"How come I'm at your place then?"

Chris looked up as Nathan came into the room. "Nathan, he don't remember anything past calling Buck last night."

"Last night?" Vin looked at Chris in obvious confusion. "It's only been a couple hours since I called Buck, ain't it?"

"No Vin, it was last night that you called Buck," Chris gently told him.

Nathan quickly asked Vin a few questions, name, year, president, nodding as Vin answered each question correctly.

"Nathan what's wrong with me? Why can't I remember getting out here?"

Nathan opened his mouth to answer, only to be cut off by Chris. "You and Buck were coming out here this morning and ya had a little accident. We didn't think you were hurt until ya passed out, ya must've hit your head."

"Is Buck okay? Was I driving?" Vin asked with a guilty start.

"Buck was driving, he just got a good scrape on his side. Ain't neither of ya hurt bad, you know if ya were Nate would insist on ya going to the hospital."

"Where's Buck then?"

"He's just in the bathroom getting cleaned up. JD, go get Buck, let him know what's going on."

"Yeah, okay Chris," JD stuttered uncertainly. Hurrying to the bathroom, he slammed open the door, nearly running into the room.

Buck's attention snapped to the door as JD raced through it, quickly shutting it behind him. Instantly he was moving to his feet, only to be shoved back down by Josiah. "What's wrong JD?" he anxiously demanded.

"Chris said to come get ya," JD panted. "Vin don't remember anything Buck, not after calling you about staying at our place."

"Nothing?" Buck was glad he was sitting down, sure that he would've fallen if he hadn't been.

"Nothing," JD confirmed. "Buck there's something else ya need to know," he began, licking his lips nervously. "Chris told him that you guys had an accident on your way out here and that's why he can't remember."

"He what?" Buck roared, coming to his feet in spite of Josiah's hold on his shoulder.

"He told Vin that you were driving and ya scraped your side up in the wreck, but you're not hurt bad."

"Why would he do that?"

"I don't know Buck but I guess he figured it was better since Vin don't remember what really happened," JD shrugged helplessly.

Buck stared at JD, trying to wrap his mind around Chris' thinking. Hanging his head, he took a deep shuddering breath, his thoughts racing through his mind as he tried to figure out what to do. The problem was, he couldn't for the life of him think of anything better than what Chris had come up with. "Josiah, what do you think?"

What did he think? That was the 64,000 dollar question. Josaih didn't know what to think. Certainly he could understand Chris' thinking and on one level he agreed with him. However, he couldn't help thinking about what would happen if Vin remembered someday. As bad as the situation had been, there was an explanation for Buck's seeming betrayal but how would they justify this betrayal if they went through with it. "I don't know Buck. If we don't tell Vin the truth, it could save your friendship and the team, but if he ever remembers..."

"It's gonna blow up in our faces," Buck dejectedly finished for him.

"If I might interject, there is some information you're missing Mr. Wilmington."

"What's that Ezra?" Buck tiredly asked.

"Were you aware that Vin is also bi-sexual?"

"He is?" three voices asked as one.

"According to Mr. Larabee, he is indeed. Perhaps Mr. Wilmington you should view this as an even greater blessing than it first appeared."

"Just what is it you're suggesting Ezra?"

"I believe you know what I'm suggesting Mr. Wilmington. However if you need it spelled out for you, this could be an opportunity for you to woo Mr. Tanner, if you will. If the two of you are able to establish a relationship it would defeat Spencer's intent and may solidify Vin's memory loss."

Buck considered the idea for all of thirty seconds before completely rejecting it. "No, I won't do that to him. We can't have any kind of relationship anyway if it's built on lies. Maybe his memory loss could help some though."

"What are you thinking Buck?" Josiah asked.

"Well he don't remember so I can explain everything in the order it happened. It might be the only chance I'll have of getting him to listen long enough for me to tell him the whole story." He jumped as Chris yelled from the living room, catching him off-guard. "Sounds like we better get out there."

Vin looked up from the couch as the others walked into the room. "You okay Buck?"

"I'm fine Vin, how're you feeling?"

Vin shrugged, "Okay I guess. Chris said we had an accident..."

"Um, yeah...look Vin we need to talk about that."

"It's okay Buck, ain't no need for ya to feel guilty, accidents happen."

"Uh, thanks Vin," Buck looked away. Damn Chris for lying to Vin, how was he supposed to tell him now? "Chris could I talk you in the kitchen?" Turning around, he high-tailed it to the kitchen with Chris hot on his heels. "Why did you do that Chris?"

"Would ya rather I told him the truth?"

"Hell no, but now what do I do?" Buck asked, scrubbing his hand through his hair.

"Find Spencer, make sure he pays for what he did and pray Vin never finds out the truth."

Buck looked at Chris, the cold stare he saw somehow not surprising him. "And what if he does?"

"We deal with that when and if it happens."

Buck's hand slammed down on the counter, "Damn it Larabee! You can't go around making decisions like that for other people."

"I didn't plan it Buck, but the opportunity came and well it just seemed like the best way to at least buy you some time."

"Time? Time for what?"

"Time to prove to Vin he can trust ya. Time to maybe get a relationship started with him, time to find Spencer and do what ya have to."

"Why wouldn't I trust Buck?" Vin asked from the doorway, startling both men.

"Vin, how long have ya been standing there?" Buck asked when he found his voice.

"Ya should be sitting down Vin, ya need to rest," Chris tried to deflect him. "Nathan shouldn't have let you get up," he added, glaring at the medic.

"We tried to..."

"Don't you be getting on to Nathan or nobody else Chris. What are y'all hiding from me?"

"What makes ya think we're..."

"No Chris," Buck interrupted. "He deserves the truth. Vin can we go back into the other room and talk?"

"Yeah, okay," Vin agreed. Casting a confused glance at the taller man, he had the feeling that maybe he shouldn't have demanded to know what they were keeping from him. Did they know who was responsible for the ache he felt? Was it somebody he knew? Was that why everybody was acting so weird? Walking back into the other room, he flopped down on the couch. Expecting Buck to join him, he was surprised when he chose to sit down in a recliner instead. He watched as Buck sat in the chair, his head resting in his hands. He'd never seen a man look so weighted down. The rest of the team were there, but they were hanging back, giving him and Buck some time alone, while still being available if they were needed. Ten minutes passed with nobody saying anything, another ten and Vin was becoming nervous, five more and he was strung tighter than a bow string. "You said I deserve the truth Buck, you gonna tell me?" he finally asked.

"I don't know where to start."

"Whatever it is Bucklin we can get through it together," he assured, his mind shying away from what the clues were telling him. "Why don't ya start at the beginning," he quietly suggested when no words were forthcoming.

Buck heaved a heavy sigh, the beginning, yeah but first there was something he had to say. "Before I do that Vin there's something ya got to understand. Chris was just trying to help, I don't want ya blaming him for that."

"Alright Buck, I won't," Vin quietly assured him.

Buck nodded, taking a deep breath he began to try to explain the events that had led them to this point. "You know I used to be a cop."

"Yeah?"

"Well, about a year before Chris asked me to join team 7 there was an incident. Damn, that don't even begin to cover it."

"This incident have something to do with what ya said in the kitchen?"

"Yeah it does," Buck sighed. "There was this guy, he'd been raping and torturing male prostitutes. A couple of them had died and we were trying our damndest to find the bastard."

"Did ya?"

"Yeah, but not before he got one of our undercover officers. He was just a kid really, a rookie by the name of David Spencer. We didn't realize the guy had him until we heard him screaming."

"He died?" Vin softly questioned.

"Not then," Buck replied. Savoring the concern he heard in Vin's voice, he wondered if he'd ever hear it again. "We got there in time to save his life, but not before that animal raped him."

Vin shuddered, knowing all too well what the kid had gone through. "What happened to him?"

"He killed himself six months ago, but I didn't know that until last night," Buck shamefully confessed.

"Lost track of him?"

"Yeah, he left the force not long after it happened, just couldn't take being there."

"I'm real sorry to hear about your friend Buck, but I don't understand what that has to do with me trusting you."

"He wasn't really my friend, didn't know him that well, but he was my partner."

"Kind of suspected as much."

"Last night his brother contacted me, told me what happened to David..."

"He blames you?"

"Yeah and he wanted to get even."

"I got caught in the middle didn't I?" Vin thought he understood now why Buck thought he might not trust him. Hell Buck ought to know better, it wasn't like it was the first time somebody from one of their pasts had used one of them to get even.

"You did, he wanted..."

"It don't matter Buck," Vin cut him off. "I ain't blaming you for whatever he did, ya ain't got to torture yourself with the details."

"You need to know Vin," Buck insisted, in spite of the fact that telling him was the last thing he wanted.

"No I don't Buck, just leave it." Standing up, Vin gave Buck's shoulder a squeeze as he passed by him. "I'm gonna go check on Peso, and Buck, we're okay, don't worry about it."

Buck watched him go, his eyes filled with amazement and love. "Now what am I gonna do?" he asked them all.

"Ya tried Buck, if he won't let ya tell him there ain't nothing you can do about it," was Chris' opinion.

"You really think that'll fly when he finally remembers everything?" Buck asked.

"Ain't anything else you can do right now Buck, ya can't force him to listen."

"You're wrong, there is one thing I can do," Buck growled, pushing himself to his feet. "I can find Spencer and make sure he pays for what he did. Right now, that's the only thing I can do to make any of this right." Without another word, he stalked out of the house and to his truck.

Outside in the barn, Vin leaned against Peso, his face buried against the horse's neck. At least now he knew for sure where the soreness he'd been feeling since he'd first gotten to his feet came from. This Spencer fella must've raped him, probably made Buck watch. "He ain't getting away with it Peso," he vowed. He knew the others wouldn't want him to leave, especially Chris and Nathan, but there wasn't any way he was going to let them stop him. He hadn't been a Ranger and later a bounty hunter for nothing. He'd sneak away from the guys, find David Spencer's brother and make him pay for what he'd done.

TBC.

Hope y'all liked this chapter. Please review and I'll try to update soon. I know Vin isn't stupid but right now he can't handle the truth, so his mind is supplying another reason, proving that denial ain't just a river in Egypt.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own the Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst

Rating: FRT

Lost

Chapter 5

Buck drove away from Chris' ranch, determined to find David Spencer's brother and make him pay for what he'd done. Vin might have blocked out what had happened, but he hadn't, God knew he wished he could. He'd give anything to be able to block out the memory of Vin begging him to stop, the sound of him screaming when he entered him. The worst though, the worst was the look of absolute betrayal that blossomed in his dark blue eyes. "Damn you Spencer! Why couldn't you have just gone after me? Why did ya have to drag him into it?" Giving himself a mental shake, Buck forced his focus back onto his driving. There was no point in asking his questions now, but when he found Spencer he'd ask them, and he'd better get some answers. Turning his truck towards Denver, Buck headed for his old preceint house.

"Vin, are you okay?" Chris asked as he stepped into the barn.

"I'm fine Chris, just seeing to my horse," Vin answered, without looking at him.

"It'd be easier to believe that if you'd look at me."

Leaning his head against his horse's flank, Vin heaved a sigh. Looking up, he met Chris' eyes, "I'm fine Chris."

"Uh-huh. Want a drink?" Chris offered, holding up a pair of shot glasses and a bottle.

Vin laid aside the curry comb. Stepping over to a bale of hay, he sat down. Holding the glass of whiskey, he stared into its depths. He wondered if he'd find any answers in it, snorting derisively, he shook his head.

Leaning against the stall, Chris arched an eyebrow, "What?"

"Just wondering if I'd find any answers in here," he answered, lifting his glass.

"I never did."

"Then what'd ya bring it out here for?"

"Thought maybe you could use it," Chris replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Why'd you lie to me Chris?"

It was Larabee's turn to sigh, "Didn't want to see the team torn apart. Seemed like you not remembering was maybe a blessing in disguise."

"So you were just protecting the team?"

"No, not just the team. I was protecting you too, and Buck. Forgive me?"

"Guess I can't blame ya for wanting to protect us, it's part of who you are."

"Thanks cowboy."

"Just don't ever do it again Chris. I might not like the truth, but I can handle it, it's being lied to I can't take. Especially when it's a friend doing the lying, no matter what the reason."

"I'll remember that."

"Feeling kind of tired, ya mind if I use the guest room?"

"Help yourself."

"Thanks." Handing the glass back to Chris, Vin made his way inside. Ignoring everybody else, he walked down the hall, flopping down onto the bed in the guest room. Ten seconds after he laid down, he heard Chris come inside. He couldn't hear what they were saying, only muffled voices, but he could guess. JD would want to know if he was mad, Josiah would ask if he needed to talk and Chris would tell them both he didn't think so. Nathan would only want to know if he had said anything before he came inside, was he acting like he didn't feel good. When Chris repeated his words, Nathan would make a beeline for the bedroom. 10...9...8...7...Vin mentally counted down, as he reached 1 the door swung open. "Right on time Nate."

"Huh? On time for what?"

"I'm okay Nathan, just tired," Vin assured him, ignoring the question.

"Why don't you let me decide that?"

"Don't ya think I know when there's something wrong?"

"Yep, I just don't think you'll tell me," Nathan replied as he picked up Vin's wrist. "Well you seem okay," he said a few minutes later.

Vin bit back the urge to say told ya so, "Could I get some rest now?"

"Yeah Vin, you go ahead. I'll make sure nobody bothers ya."

"Thanks." Rolling onto his side, Vin closed his eyes and waited for Nathan to leave the room.

"He okay Nathan?"

"As far as I can tell Chris he's just tired."

"That normal?"

"For somebody who was in a state of shock not long ago and who probably ain't slept all night, I'd say so."

"Good. Can you and Josiah stay here to keep an eye on him?"

"Yeah," both men answered simultaneously. "Where are you going to be?"

"I'm going after Buck," Chris replied, grabbing his jacket and keys. "I'm pretty sure I know where he's going, but just in case I'm wrong I want JD to check the apartment."

"Sure thing Chris."

"Ezra?"

"Sir?"

"Could you go talk to your snitches, see if any of them have heard anything on the street about Spencer? I don't really expect they have, but I want to cover all the bases."

"Of course," Ezra replied, tipping an imaginary hat his way.

Vin listened to the sounds from the other room, the muffled voices, the jangling keys and soon the front door opening and closing. Three vehicles started up and left, the tires crunching on the gravel drive as they pulled away. Patiently he waited for the two men who were left to settle down and forget about him. After awhile the muffled conversation stopped and the tv came on. Forty-five minutes after Chris and the others had left, Vin quietly opened the bedroom window. Slipping through it, he landed on the ground with cat like grace. Moving quietly, he disabled both of their vehicles. He knew it wouldn't take them long to figure out what he'd done and fix it, but by then he'd be out of sight. Jumping into his jeep, he fired it up. Ignoring the calls of his friends, he threw it into first, and sped out of the drive.

"Come on we'll take my car," Nathan quickly decided. Sliding behind the wheel, he turned the key. His head dropped to rest on the steering wheel, "What do ya think he did?"

"No telling, but you can bet mine won't start either," Josiah replied. Climbing out of Nathan's car, he walked over to his own and turned the key, not surprised when nothing happened. Pulling the lever, he popped the hood. "Distributor cap's missing," he called to Nathan.

"Mine too," Nathan confirmed from under his own hood. "Where ya figure he tossed 'em?"

Josiah looked around, his hands resting on his hips as he tried to see into Vin's mind. "I don't figure he wanted to strand us for long, just wanted a head start."

"Makes sense."

"So he wouldn't want to make it too hard to fine them...there," Josiah pointed to a row of shrubs near the porch.

"Worth a try." Walking over to the bushes, Nathan began to search them. "Bingo," he grinned, standing up with a distributor cap in each hand. Tossing Josiah's to him, he hurried back to his own car and got busy. Finishing, he straightened up and walked over to Josiah, leaning against the fender, he watched the profiler as he finished reattaching his distributor cap. "So...flip ya for it," he offered.

"Huh?" Josiah distractedly asked.

"Somebody has to call Chris and tell him that our bird flew the coop," Nathan clarified as he pulled a coin from his pocket. "Loser makes the call, heads or tails?"

With a sigh, Josiah lightly shook his head, "Tails."

"Damn, I should just give up, I never win."

Josiah grinned, "Have fun brother." Clapping him on the back, he slammed the hood shut and climbed behind the wheel before Nathan could protest.

Phillip Spencer sat in the vacant warehouse where's his brother's life had ended. This hadn't been where he'd committed suicide. No, that he had done in their mother's basement. The sound of his mother's anquished scream echoed in his head as that day replayed one more time in his mind. He would never forget that sound, or the shattered look on his mother's face as he ran down the stairs. "God Davey, why did you have to do that? Why didn't you let us help you?" He knew the answer though, he hadn't been able to accept their help. No matter how many times they told him otherwise, he just wouldn't believe that he deserved their help. They had tried, both of them had done everything they could think of, but nothing helped. His little brother had never gotten over feeling dirty and used. Davey might have stopped breathing that day in the basement, but his life had ended here, the day that bastard had raped him. Wiping away the tears that streaked his face, he went on. "I got you some justice Davey," he whispered, his fingers tracing over his brother's face as he stared back at him from the picture. "You were so proud the day you made detective. You would've been one of the best too. I take it back, you would've been the best! Too bad you didn't have the best guarding your back that day. Damn him!" he cursed. " I got him though Davey, Wilmington paid in spades for what you suffered. I was gonna kill him ya know, even planted some bugs in his apartment just so I could listen to him dying. Had it all planned out, I was across the street, had a perfect view into his living room. I was going to call him, tell him who I was and why he was dying. Then I was gonna shoot him little brother, not in the head or the heart though. Was going to gut shoot him, make sure he suffered before he died. Then that friend of his showed up, heard them talking and figured out this guy was on the same ATF team he was on. I knew what I had to do, it was the perfect revenge for what he'd done." He paused to take a drink from his beer, "I called him, told him who I was and what you'd done. I don't remember what all I said, but I sure gave him a hell of a cussing. Probably would've made ya blush to hear it Davey," he teased. "Then I told him I had a perfect shot at his friend and if he wanted him to live, he'd do what I said. I made sure he knew there were bugs in the place, couldn't have him telling the guy what was really happening after all. You'll love this little brother," he chortled. "I told him that if he didn't rape his buddy, then I'd shoot him where he sat, his buddy not him. He didn't want to do it, but I didn't give him any choice, not if he wanted his friend to live. I got the recording right here Davey," he patted his shirt pocket. "Them bugs worked real good, they picked up everything and I mean everything. I admit I feel sorry for his friend, he was an innocent in all of this, just like you. But I had to make Wilmington pay, you understand that don't you Davey? Good, I knew ya would. Want to hear the tape? The best part is afterwards, when he's trying to talk to his friend. I swear to ya Davey, Wilmington was crying while he was apologizing. Didn't do him any good, fella was out of it, shock I imagine. Ain't that what they said was wrong with you when we came to the hospital that day? That's why ya wouldn't talk, just kind of stared off into space. That's what his buddy was doing, don't know what happened after that. I took off, figured I'd better before Wilmington decided to come looking for me. To you baby brother," raising his beer in a toast, "maybe now you can rest in peace."

Buck walked up to the door of the Spencer home. He'd already checked at Phillip Spencer's apartment and his job, of course it couldn't be that easy. Buck sure hoped Spencer's mother would know where he was, if she didn't he was out of ideas. Raising his hand, he knocked on the wood screendoor.

"Yes, can I help you?" Mrs. Spencer asked, looking up at him, her brown eyes sharp and suspicious.

"I sure hope so ma'am. My name's Buck Wilmington and..." that was as far as he got.

"You've got a lot of nerve coming around here Mr. Wilmington," Ava Spencer snapped. "I don't want you here and if you don't get off my property in the next thirty seconds, I'm calling the police." With those words she slammed the door shut in his face.

"Damn, now what?" Buck asked himself, as he tried to decide on his next move. Well one thing was for sure, he couldn't afford to waste time with the police. Scrubbing his hand through his dark hair, he blew out a sigh of frustration as he trudged back to his truck. Sitting in the vehicle, he tried to think, trying to put himself in Spencer's shoes. "Alright Buck, your little brother was raped and it destroyed him. Later he kills himself because he can't take the pain of what happened. You've gotten revenge on one of the people you think is responsible, now what do you do?" Staring out the windshield of his truck, his mind was coming up blank. Reaching over, he picked up the file his friend Rick had given him. Reading through it again, the question of where Phillip Spencer would go nagged at him. "David killed himself in his mother's basement, I wonder...one way to find out." Starting the truck, he pulled away from the curb, a moment later parking it on a nearby side street.

Getting out of his truck, he carefully made his way back to the Spencer home. Sneaking around to the back, he made his way to where he saw a basement window, being careful to stay out of sight. Shaking his head seconds later, he knew he shouldn't be surprised and to tell the truth he was kind of glad he wasn't here. He really didn't want to have this confontation with the man's mother there too. Retracing his path, he made his way back to where he'd left his truck. "So he didn't come to where David killed himself. The cemetary? Yeah, that'd make sense." Climbing back in the truck, he drove off towards the cemetary where David Spencer had been laid to rest.

It didn't take long to figure out that the cemetary was a bust. There were fresh flowers laid on David's grave, but no sign of his brother. Dejected, he walked back to his truck, his hands buried in his pockets and his head downcast. Once more he picked up the file, looking through it for some clue of where Phillip Spencer might be. "Buck you're a fool," he chided himself. He should've seen it earlier, if Spencer hadn't gone to the place where his brother's life ended and he wasn't at his grave there was really only one other place where he might feel close to David. Jumping into his truck, he sped towards the warehouse that David Spencer had been attacked in all those years ago.

Vin had gone to see Mary Travis and with her help he was able to find all of the information he needed on David Spencer and his family. She'd been curious of course, but he'd just told her that there was a chance David Spencer might have found some information on a gun runner they were after. She looked at him strangely, but seemed to accept the story he wove of misplaced files and the need to ask his mother if she knew where he might have kept them. Now here he was, standing outside the Spencer house, waiting for an answer to his knock.

"Yes?" the elderly lady asked him, her eyes narrowed in hostility.

"I'm sorry to bother you ma'am, my name's Vin Tanner and I was wondering if your son Phillip might be here," he politely requested.

"You don't look like one of Phillip's friends."

"No ma'am, we ain't friends. I work with the ATF and your son called us with some information about a possible crime being committed. I went by his apartment but he wasn't home and he's not at work..."

"You got some i.d.?"

"Yes ma'am, " he politely replied, fishing his wallet out of his pocket. "It's real important that I talk to him ma'am," he added as she examined his badge.

"Well it looks like the real thing, I guess I can talk to ya. He isn't here, but I think I know where he might be."

"Anything you could tell me would be helpful ma'am," he encouraged.

"I don't think it's healthy at all, but sometimes he goes back to that warehouse where his brother was hurt. Says he feels closer to Davey there. I don't see how, but if it helps him I'm not going to tell him not to go."

"His brother?" Vin pretended not to know about that.

"Yeah his brother," she confirmed. " Hold on a minute and I'll get you the address." She disappeared into the house, returning moments later with a piece of paper, an address written on it in a neat script. "Here ya are Agent Tanner," she handed it to him. "If Phillip is there, would you tell him I'd like for him to come by?"

"Yes ma'am, I sure will. Thank you ma'am." Turning away, he walked to his jeep and got in. Turning the key, he fired it up and pulled away from the curb. Quickly committing the address to memory, he crumpled up the paper as he headed towards the warehouse where he hoped to find Phillip Spencer.

TBC

Thanks for all the reviews I've gotten so far. Hope y'all like this chapter, please review and let me know what you think.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own the Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Slash, Violence, Sexual Assault

Rating: FRT

italics and/or // indicates the tape recording.

Lost

Chapter 6

As Buck drove towards the warehouse, his mind kept conjuring images to torment him. Images of what he had done to Vin. Images of what might have been, if he had known that Vin was bi-sexual. Images of Vin after the attack, broken and non-responsive. The more he thought of all these things, the angrier he became. The result was easy to predict and had any of the others been with him they would have warned Buck against continuing to the warehouse. They weren't there however and by the time he reached the warehouse, Wilmington was seeing red. That had been his second mistake, his first was going after Spencer without any back-up.

Buck pulled to a screeching halt in front of the warehouse. Seeing a car that fit the description of Phillip Spencer's car, he was sure his prey was inside. Glaring at the building, he climbed from his truck and headed for the small side door. Loaded for bear, he only slowed down long enough to glance through the small piece of glass in the door. Seeing nobody in sight, he pulled the door open and moved into the building. He'd only taken two steps when he felt a blinding pain in the back of his skull and the world quickly went black.

Phillip Spencer grinned as he looked at the fallen man at his feet. Picking up the gun Buck had dropped, he then grabbed the back of his collar and dragged Wilmington to the center of the warehouse. Kneeling beside him, he searched the large man for any other weapons. "Well, well, well, look at this," he smirked. "Nice of you to help me out Wilmington," he sneered as he used the handcuffs he'd found to secure Buck's wrists behind him. Satisfied, after a further search, that the man carried no other weapons, Phillip pushed himself to his feet and went in search of something to secure Buck's ankles. It didn't take him long to find some rope lying in a corner. Quickly, he tied Buck's ankles together. Stepping back, he waited for the man to wake up, an evil grin spreading over his face.

Groaning softly, Buck slowly blinked open his eyes. The sunlight coming through the windows, though dim this late in the day, was enough to send a stab of sharp pain through his skull.

"Nice of you to join me Wilmington," Spencer gleefully announced his presence.

Twisting his head around, Buck glared at the man through slitted eyes.

"What, no hello? That's rather rude, don't you think?"

"You're a dead man Spencer, just as soon as I get loose," Buck growled.

Phillip laughed, "I don't think I need to worry. You'll play hell getting out of those cuffs. Since you're here though you can help me with a small dilemna I'm having." Turning away from Buck, he picked up a tape recorder and carried it over to where Wilmington lay bound. "I didn't catch quite everything, turned off the recording equipment and left after you carried your buddy to the bedroom," he absently explained.

"You son of a bitch!" Buck snapped, eyes blazing with fury in his suddenly pale face.

"Now, now, is that any way to talk?" Phillip amicably questioned. "Anyway back to my dilemna, you see I can't decide should I send this tape to the District Attorney or to the victim? You can see my problem I'm sure. On the one hand, I have in my hands the means to bring a rapist to justice, but do I have the right? Maybe I should send it to your friend, let him decide if he wants to press charges. What do you think Wilmington?"

"I think you're a sick bastard and there ain't no way you're David Spencer's brother." The words were barely out of Buck's mouth when Phillip's hand connected with his jaw, rocketing his head to the side.

"You don't say his name," he growled.

"The man I knew was a good cop, a good man and there is no way he would've condoned a scheme like this. He's probably rolling over in his grave at the thought of what you've done in his name," Buck calmly stated, ignoring the taste of blood from his split lip.

"Maybe he wouldn't have approved before he met you, but after what you let happen to him he was a changed man. Wonder how much it'll change your friend, but maybe I should say ex-friend," Phillip taunted. "I tell you what, before you help me make my decision I think you should hear the tape for yourself." Setting the recorder on the floor, he reached down, and without taking his eyes off of Buck, pressed the play button. "Of course I'll take this part out before I send it to anybody," Phillip said as the replay of his conversation with Buck sounded from the machine.

Buck winced as the phone call ended and he joined Vin on the couch. He could hear the crackling sound of the leather as he settled himself on the sofa, tears coming to his eyes as he heard Vin ask him if he was okay. As the tape played, his mind provided video to accompany the sounds and words he was hearing.

Vin parked a block from the warehouse, walking the rest of the way. He frowned when he saw Buck's truck. He had hoped to take care of this guy before anybody else found him. "Well guess I might as well find Bucklin," he mumbled as he closed the distance to the building. Searching the area, he saw where somebody had stood outside the door, their toes right up against it as they peeked inside. Figuring this must've been Buck, he took a look of his own. "Damn," he cursed when he saw his friend bound and lying on the floor. Stepping away from the building, he considered his options. Going through the door was out of the question, Spencer would see him the minute he opened it, but he had to find a way into the warehouse. He couldn't leave Buck at the mercy of a man like Phillip Spencer. Slowly he walked around the building, looking for another way in. He'd nearly given up when he spotted it, a fire escape leading to the roof, probably there to give anybody trapped in the loft area a way off the roof.

Before he climbed it though, he took a good long look at it. The last thing either him or Buck needed was for him to fall because of a rusty ladder. Finally satisfied that it was safe, or as safe as it could be, Vin jumped for the lowest rung, the lowest section being missing, and pulled himself up. Quietly he climbed the ladder, gently lowering himself to the roof he was careful to make as little noise as possible. Lying flat, he crab crawled to the nearest skylight. Glancing through it, he was disappointed to see it was directly over the main part of the warehouse, with no way down. Though if he couldn't find a way in, he could at least get a clear shot at Spencer if it looked to be necessary. Spying another skylight, he carefully crawled to it. Looking down, he grinned when he saw the short ladder leading from the skylight to the loft below. Sending up a silent prayer, he cautiously opened the skylight, quickly sending up silent thanks that it hadn't squeaked as he opened it. As quickly and quietly as possible, he climbed the ladder to the loft.

Again lying flat, he made his way to the edge of the loft and peeked over the side. What he saw and heard sent chills down his spine. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. It hadn't been Spencer, it had been Buck! His friend, a man he'd thought he could trust, had raped him. As he listened to the tape, the attack began to come back to him. All of it, the unexpected fear when Buck suddenly turned on him, the incredible feeling of betrayal that paralyzed him for precious seconds and the intense pain he'd felt as his friend raped him. It was only when Spencer stopped the tape to taunt Buck that he began to wonder just how the man had come to have a recording of his rape?

"You know Wilmington as much pleasure as I got out of listening to you raping your friend, knowing what it was doing to you, I have to admit the next part is my favorite. Who knew that the ladies man of team seven is into men? Of course now that I know how you really feel, it makes my revenge all the sweeter," he smirked. "I think I'd like to hear it again," reaching over he pressed the play button once more, filling the echoing warehouse with Buck's voice.

_//"Vin please talk to me...I'm so sorry Vin, I never wanted to hurt you, I had no choice."//_

Buck lay on the floor, miserably listening to himself pour his heart out to Vin. He remembered each action that accompanied his words. Gently dressing Vin, scooping him up in his strong arms and lovingly carrying him to the guest room. Where he tucked him into bed and prepared to wait for him to come back to himself.

_//"He said he'd kill you if I didn't do it. He could see you sitting on the couch, I couldn't chance calling his bluff. I'd rather you were alive and hating me than dead. Oh god Vin, I love you so much and if I could've saved you from this I would've. I swear to you, I would've given my own life to save you from this. If only he'd given me that option. I'm gonna sit down right over here sweetness, I'll be here when you come back to me. Please Vin, come back to me..." //_

Here the tape ended, but not the tears that had clearly been heard in Buck's voice as he had fruitlessly explained his actions to an unresponsive Vin. From the loft Vin listened, his own eyes shimmering with tears. His mind reeled with the things he'd heard, the truths that had been revealed. Well he'd told Chris that he could handle the truth, hadn't he? Vin supposed now that he'd get the chance to find out if he really could.

"So tell me Wilmington, what do ya think? Should I turn it over to the D.A. or to your victim?"

"I don't give a damn," Buck miserably replied.

"Have to get rid of our little conversation at the beginning though, and that bit at the end where you told him about my threat. After all we can't let a rapist go free on a little technicality like that, can we?"

Vin listened in growing anger as Spencer taunted Buck. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to put aside all emotion. Drawing on his training from the Rangers, he steadied himself until he entered what he'd always referred to as the zone. Cold, detached, professional, he was ready to do the job he'd been trained for. There was one exception though, this time he wouldn't shoot to kill as the Rangers had taught him, he would only wound. He wanted Phillip Spencer to be tried for his crimes. He had to pay for what he'd done to both of them. Suddenly he rolled to his back, his gun trained on the skylight above him.

Chris had driven straight to the office, sure that Buck would go there to look up all he could on the Spencer brothers. He hadn't found him there of course. Not having any idea where to start looking, he had done what he'd expected Buck to do. Firing up his computer, he began to search for anything he could find on David and Phillip Spencer. He'd found several possibilites, but nothing definite and had been just about to shut down the computer when his phone rang. Chris grinned when he imagined Nathan holding the phone away from his ear as he was given a royal ass chewing. Ordering Nathan and Josaih to search for Vin, he hung up and called JD. Informing the younger man of the latest development, he ordered him to assist in the search for Vin. He had barely hung up when his phone rang again, this time it was Ezra and he had good news.

"Mr. Larabee I believe I know where we can find Phillip Spencer and hopefully our wayward Lothario."

"Where?" Chris barked the question.

"I have it on good authority that a man fitting Spencer's description has been seen frequenting the warehouse in which his younger sibling was so heinously attacked."

"Are you sure Ezra?"

"As sure as one can be in these circumstances," Ezra smoothly replied. "Mr. Larabee if I may, you sound a bit more anxious than I had expected, has something else occurred?"

"Vin flew the coop and I wouldn't be surprised if he's trying to find Phillip Spencer too."

"I see. Then might I suggest that we make all due haste to the locale in question."

"I'll meet you there Ezra," Chris responded, "hold on." Flipping through the information he'd printed out, he pictured the location of the warehouse. "Park a block to the north of the warehouse, we'll cooridinate from there," he ordered before ending the call. It had only taken a couple of minutes to relay those same orders to the rest of the team as he made his way out the door to the elevator.

Vin nodded when he saw his boss and friend peering down at him through the skylight. Rolling back over, he watched Spencer as Chris made his way into the loft to lay on the floor next to him. He smiled grimly as Chris put his mouth next to his ear and quietly told him the plan. It wasn't elegant, the situation wouldn't really allow it, but it would be effective. On a signal from Chris, JD and Ezra would come in the side door, at the same moment Josiah and Nathan, in Josiah's Blazer, would crash through the large front door. Hopefully with the element of surprise on their side they could take Spencer down without firing a shot. However if it looked like that wasn't going to happen, or if Buck looked to be in imminent danger, Vin would take Phillip Spencer down. Vin nodded his understanding and hunkered down to wait for Chris' signal.

Chris listened to the voices of his team coming over the earpiece he wore. Waiting until everybody was in place, he keyed his mic, once, twice, three times and then one long tone that only the team could hear. All hell broke loose as a large vehicle crashed through the doors, Josiah letting loose a maniacal yell was he brought the Blazer to a halt. In that same instance JD and Ezra came through the side door, yelling their identity and ordering Spencer to drop to his knees. Spencer looked wildly around the building, his eyes taking on a crazed gleam as he saw his plans for revenge going down the drain. Grabbing Buck's gun from his waistband, he pointed it at the fallen agent. He made no threats, didn't try to bargain; his only intention was to take Buck Wilmington with him. As his finger tightened on the trigger, a single shot rang out, sending a bullet through his shoulder and dropping him to the floor, the gun he held skidding to a stop several yards away.

Vin and Chris quickly made their way to the floor of the warehouse where JD was already removing the handcuffs from Buck's wrists. "Phillip Spencer, you're under arrest for the assault of a federal officer, kidnapping and unlawful imprisonment," Chris stood over the fallen man, staring coldly down at him.

"Go ahead arrest me and all of this will come out at the trial," Phillip taunted. "His career will be over as soon as everybody knows what he did to his buddy over there. I've got the whole thing on tape and I'll make sure it gets made public," he threatened.

"Chris ya..." Buck began, jerking as another shot rang out.

"What tape?" Vin asked, his eyes never wavering from the tape recorder he'd just blown to hell with a single shot from his high powered rifle. They'd have to take the tape out and burn it of course, but he'd figured this way would let Spencer know just what he thought of his tape.

"He raped you, don't you want to see him pay for that?" Phillip stared at him in disbelief.

"I reckon that's between me and him, but I sure as hell want to see you pay for what you've done," Vin drawled.

"It'll still come out at the trial, I'll make sure of it." Phillip stared at him, ignoring Nathan as he bandaged his shoulder.

"Your word against ours and if you think I'll admit to what happened in public, you're crazier than I already figured you for," Vin smiled grimly.

"Josiah, Nathan, get him out of here and don't forget to read him his rights," Chris ordered.

Lowering his gun, Vin looked Buck over. "Nathan, I reckon you should check Buck over first."

"Go on Nate, I can handle this guy," Josiah rumbled. Slapping the cuffs on Spencer, he bundled him into his Blazer and backed out of the warehouse, headed for the city jail by way of the emergency room at Denver general.

"I'm fine Nathan," Buck tried to wave him off.

"I've seen your fine before Buck, now let me take a look," Nathan frowned. "Where exactly are you hurt?"

Buck sighed, he knew when he was defeated, "Back of my head."

"You seeing double? Feel sick to your stomach? Dizzy?" Nathan questioned as he examined the knot on the back of Buck's skull.

"Little dizzy and my head is pounding but other than that I'm fine."

"Uh-huh," Nathan mumbled. Moving around to face Buck, he carefully examined his eyes. "I'd say you got a slight concussion Buck, you need to go to the hospital and get checked out."

"No..."

"Buck ya need to be checked if we're going to make a case against Spencer," Chris pointed out, cutting off whatever protests he'd been about to make.

"Give me a minute?" he asked.

Chris looked between Buck and Vin, nodding he prodded the others away from the two men.

"I'm sorry Vin, I never wanted to hurt you," Buck softly apologized.

"So I heard."

"You heard the tape?" Buck felt sick, remembering the horrible things that had been on that tape.

"Yeah. I knew I'd been raped, could feel it, but I thought it was Spencer that did it."

"Now that you know it was me?"

"I know ya was forced Buck, but I need some time to think about all of this," Vin quietly replied.

"I understand," Buck whispered.

"I doubt that, but thanks. Tell Chris and the others not to worry, I'll be in on Monday, I just need to get away for a couple of days."

"Vin?"

"Yeah?"

"Please come back, no matter how you feel about me now, don't let what happened drive you away from the only family you got. If you decide you can't work with me, I'll leave, that's the only fair thing to do."

Vin looked into Buck's eyes, he could see the pain in his blue eyes and he wondered if his own pain was so easily seen? A part of him wanted to tell the older man that everything would be okay now, but he couldn't. Not yet, maybe not ever. Giving a short nod, he turned and walked away from the men who had become his family.

TBC

Hope y'all liked it. Please review and let me know what you think. Reviews keep the muse happy.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own the Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Slash

Rating: FRT

A/N: tseena means wolf in Commanche and tenahp means man.

Spanish words:

como este how are you?

mi hijo my son

Bueno good

Senora Mrs.

Que what?

Lost

Chapter 7

Unlike his previous flight, this time Vin took the time to gather a few things together. Driving back to his apartment in Purgatorio, he barely made it inside the building when he was waylaid by a small woman with deep brown eyes.

"Vincente como este mi hijo?" Senora Rosario questioned, her small hand on his arm, halting him in his tracks.

"Bueno senora," he politely replied. "I'm going on a little camping trip though so if you'll excuse me." Moving to step around her, he only managed to move a few inches, stopping as she moved to block him, staring up at him.

"You do not lie to me Vincente," she ordered. "I am not some stranger on the street for you to put off with simple pleasantries. You're friend, the one who likes the ladies, he came to look for you early..."

"We were supposed to meet up but..."

Grabbing his arm, she hustled him into her apartment, rapidly berating him in spanish. "He was worried for you, ah..ah, do not lie to me. What is happening mi hijo? Why do you try to fool me?"

Vin knew a losing battle when he saw one and with a heavy sigh he sank onto her couch, defeated. "It's complicated."

"Then uncomplicate it," she firmly ordered. Seeing his look of confusion, she sat beside him, holding his strong hand between her own. "Tell me about it, often talking will make a complicated thing more clear."

"I can't tell ya, it's..."

"Complicated," she completed the sentence for him. "You do not need to give me details if you don't wish to," she suggested, hoping to make it easier on him.

"I was at a friend's place last night, he did something that betrayed my trust," he quietly told her.

"He hurt you?"

"Yeah, but he didn't want to."

"Is this what he told you?" she bristled. She had known this young man for a while now and though he had never given her details, she had seen the pain of old hurts in his eyes. Pain that had faded as he grew closer to the men who had become his family. The thought that one of them had hurt him infuriated her, bringing the mother lioness within her to the surface as she prepared to defend her cub. "You know better than that Vincente," she gently chided. "There is nothing you could have done to deserve any hurt he gave you."

"It ain't like you're thinking senora, he was forced to hurt me by a man who was after revenge."

"Or is that the excuse he used?"

"No ma'am, it's the truth. We caught the man, but before he was arrested I heard them talking, heard the man taunt my friend about what he'd made him do."

"How is it he did this thing?"

"He had me in his gun sights, threatened to kill me if my friend didn't do as he was told," Vin explained.

"I see, this friend...it was the ladies man who was here this morning?"

Vin nodded, "I found out something else when we arrested the man that forced Buck to hurt me," he added, using his name now that she knew who had hurt him.

"Que?"

"Buck isn't as much of a ladies man as ya think," he paused, giving her a moment to process his words. Truthfully he wanted to be sure she could accept this news about Buck without condemning him, before he told her the rest.

"I can't fault his taste," she smiled softly.

"Ma'am?"

"He has fallen in love with you mi hijo?" she asked, though it sounded more like a statement.

"Yeah, he has."

"Do you welcome these feelings?"

"I don't know...I might've before, but now it's harder. I need time to sort out my feelings," he quietly said.

"Is he willing to give you time?"

"He is...I was gonna go up in the mountains for a couple of days."

"I will prepare you some burritos to take with you," she nodded thoughtfully. "You gather what you need, I will have them ready by the time you are ready."

"You ain't got to do that."

"I'm not offering because I have to, I am offering because I want to. You will not insult an old woman by refusing a gift, will you?"

Vin blushed, ducking his head, "No ma'am I wouldn't do that, where's this old woman you're talking about?"

It was Senora Rosario's turn to blush, "Thank you Vincente," kissing his cheek. "Now off with you," she shooed him on his way.

Chuckling, Vin left the apartment and headed for his own. Moving quickly through the rooms, he gathered a few camping supplies, a little food and most importantly some white sage for the meditation he sorely needed. Stopping off at the Rosario's he graciously accepted the burritos with a kiss to her wrinkled cheek. Outside, he climbed into his jeep and drove away from his building, his mind focused on his beloved mountains where he hoped to start healing.

Buck watched the scenery passing by as Chris drove him from the hospital to the ranch. He had barely spoken since Vin had left the warehouse. Mostly he had talked only to the doctor, answering his questions and arguing with him when he wanted to put him in the hospital. Finally Chris had stepped in and offered to take Buck to his place for the next two days, promising to keep a close eye on the man. The doctor hadn't liked it, but seeing that he was getting nowhere in convincing Buck to stay, he finally gave in and signed the release papers. Since then, Buck had been ignoring Chris' concerned glances and quiet questions. He jumped when a hand landed heavily on his shoulder, turning his head he shot a questioning look at his friend.

"I said we're here Buck," Chris repeated.

"Oh, okay," Buck acknowledged. Opening the door he climbed out of the truck and slowly walked inside the sprawling ranch house.

"You sure you're okay Buck?" Chris asked as he came in behind him.

Buck sighed, "Yeah Chris, I just need some rest and I can do that as easily here as I can at the hospital."

"You want to talk?"

"Talk? What do you want to talk about Chris?" Buck snapped. "Want to talk about how I may have ruined the team? Want to talk about there being no chance that Vin will ever want to be with me now? How about we talk about just how bad I screwed up?"

"Alright Buck let's talk about it," Chris fiercely agreed. "Tell me why you didn't find some way out of hurting Vin?"

"Goddamn it Chris I wanted to but..." Buck trailed off.

"There wasn't any way out, was there?"

"No, but I should've found..."

"Buck how were you supposed to find something that wasn't there?"

"I don't know," Buck miserably replied. "I love him Chris, how am I supposed to make this up to him?"

"Give him the space he needs, be his friend and let the rest come if it will."

"When did you get to be so smart?"

"Must've come from hanging out with Josiah," Chris smirked. "Go on and lay down Buck, I'll fix us a couple of steaks," he offered.

"Thanks Chris."

Vin parked his jeep in the same spot Chris had found it earlier that day. Looking up at the sky, he figured he could make it a third of the way before it was too dark to safely hike the rough terrain. Grabbing his pack from the back seat, he slung it on his back and started out. The peacefulness of the mountains soothed him like nothing else could. He was far from healing however, not even really begun, but as the old adage went, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. "Wonder where my journey will take me," he absently wondered as he treked up the mountain trail.

Soon the sky darkened as night approached and just as Vin had supposed, he was a third of the way up when he needed to stop. Seeing a nice camping spot , he quickly and efficiently set up his camp. By the time the veil of darkness had fallen, Vin was seated beside a small fire, using a small skillet to heat up the burritos Mrs. Rosario had provided. After finishing his small meal, he leaned back, supporting himself on his elbows, and watched the fire. Letting the dancing flames hypnotize him, he stared into their depths, his mind wandering at will over the landscape of his thoughts.

"Tenahp you are troubled."

Vin looked through the flames at the owl perched calmly on a large rock, staring at him with large, unblinking eyes. "I am brother owl," he calmly acknowledged.

"Guidance is sought."

"It is. Can you help brother owl?"

"Perhaps, but not tonight. Tonight you must allow your mind to rest, tomorrow will be soon enough to seek guidance."

"Will you lead me on my path?"

"I will be there young one, as will others...you must listen to the wisdom of your heart as well as the wisdom of the spirits. It is only when you join the two together that you will find the truth and healing you search for."

Vin blinked as the owl fluttered it's wings, shifting into the shape of a great wolf which then loped off into the darkness. Rubbing his eyes, he wondered if what he'd seen had been real or only a product of his own wishful thinking. Had one of his spirit animals truly communicated with him. Sighing, he decided that he would take the vision as the good omen it was meant to be. Thanking the spirits for their help, he spread out his bed roll and stretched out, he closed his eyes, willing himself to sleep.

He awoke with the sun. Sitting up, he took a few minutes to enjoy the colors painted across the sky by the rising sun. Fixing himself a quick breakfast, Vin was soon packed up, his fire doused, and back on the trail. By midday he was at the summit, setting up a new camp. This camp however, had one addition, a small, one man sweat lodge, intended only for temporary use. For the noon meal he fixed only a cup of mugwort tea, letting the warm liquid soothe his soul and relax him. Stripping his clothes off, he entered his sweat lodge, glad to see that the small fire in the center had heated the rocks surrounding it. Lowering himself to the ground, he sat in front of the rocks with his legs crossed. Throwing a handful of white sage onto the fire, he placed his hands on his knees, palms up and breathed deeply of the cleansing smoke. Chanting a prayer for guidance in Commanche, Vin steadily slowed his heart rate and breathing as he waited for an answer.

"You have been hurt," a wolf spoke from beside him.

"I have tseena. I know he didn't want to hurt me, he was forced."

"Yet this knowledge does not lessen the pain."

"It should," Vin insisted.

"Why?"

"Well cause I know he didn't want to do it, I mean it ain't right to be angry with him when he had no more choice than I did."

"Little brother, emotions are neither right or wrong, they simply are."

"Then it's okay that I'm mad at him?"

"It is a fact that you are angry, why do you seek my permission to experience what you feel?"

Vin considered this, letting the smoke of the sage cleanse him and transport him to the space he needed to be in. "I don't feel right about being angry because I know he is hurting too."

"Do you wish to heal him?"

"I guess so."

"You must first heal yourself little brother," tseena advised.

"How?"

"Relax, let yourself ride on the smoke, let it guide you where you need to go."

Doing as the wolf instructed, Vin took more deep breaths, letting himself move deeper into a meditative trance. Outside the lodge he heard a growl and a whine, standing up he stepped outside and saw two cheetahs circling each other. It was clear they were both male and aroused as they dance around each other, slowly getting closer. Suddenly the smaller cheetah moved away only to be pounced on by the larger animal. The larger of the two mounted the smaller, moving his hips in a motion as old as time, he took his pleasure of the smaller animal. Vin felt tears prickling his eyes as he watched, too shocked to move. It was only as the larger cheetah howled his release that Vin realized the smaller cat had released also, their pungent odors mixing as though they belonged together. Vin blinked, staring into the flames, he understood it had all been a vision, but what did it mean?

"You know what it means," a sleek cheetah whispered from across the flames.

"I felt pleasure too," he rasped the knowledge.

"This bothers you?"

"Of course it bothers me," Vin snapped, drawing a hiss from the cat. "Sorry, but shouldn't it bother me? He raped me, what kind of sick bastard am I that I got any enjoyment from it?"

"Did the vision teach you nothing?" the cheetah sneered.

"What do you mean?"

"Think tenahp," he snapped. "You must come to the answers, we can only guide you."

Vin nodded, "The vision was about natural reactions."

"Very good tenahp."

"The smaller cat couldn't help releasing, it was a normal reaction to the physical act."

"There is hope for you yet tenahp."

"Thank you," Vin smiled. He couldn't help thinking how much the cheetah sounded like Ezra, especially the condescending tone. He wondered how Ezra would react to that idea.

"There is more to the vision..."

"The bonds of brotherhood," Vin softly spoke. "Even though the cheetahs fought, they belonged together, they're family and nothing can change that."

"Yessss," the cheetah hissed.

"Alright so I don't need to feel guilty over any pleasure I received, I can accept that. I can accept that Buck is still part of my family and I wouldn't want to lose him, but what about the other?" The cheetah didn't answer, between one blink and the next, he disappeared. In his place an owl appeared, flying to Vin's shoulder, he perched there as though it were his right.

"The other?"

"He loves me, what do I do about that?"

"What do you wish to do?"

"I don't know," Vin replied.

"You have worn a series of masks young one, from the time of childhood you have felt the need to hide who you are. So deeply and often have you hidden your true self that even you sometimes do not know who you are. The men who are your family..."

"They ain't, I mean I think of them that way but they're not my blood."

"Hush tenahp," the owl admonished with a peck to the top of Vin's head. "You know better young one, family is more than blood and sometimes blood means less than nothing."

"You're right brother owl, I'm sorry."

"The men who are your family have allowed you to come out of hiding," the owl continued as though he'd never been interrupted. "Now because of the horrible event you experienced your instinct is driving you to hide again. Do not make this mistake little brother, slip off the masks you wear as well as those of others. It is only when you look beneath the masks that you will be able to find the person you are meant to be."

"If I slip off the masks will that help me figure out if I should give him a chance?"

"It will help you discover where your heart lies."

"How do I slip off his masks?"

"You know the way, close your eyes," the owl instructed as he hopped to a perch on top of Vin's head. "Relax and I will lead you through time and space that the truth may be revealed to you," he instructed, loudly flapping his wings.

Vin did as he was told. He could feel the wind rushing past him as he slipped through time and space, a myriad of scenes playing out before his eyes. Scenes that took him through his life, from infancy into old age, even to his deathbed. He saw all of the possible roads laid out before him, the many paths he could take, each ending in a different way. As he watched, he could feel the uncertainity growing. There were too many to choose from, how did he know which one was right.

"Choose," the owl whispered.

"Choose," the wolf and the cheetah added.

"How?" Vin asked. 

"Use your keen sight to see the best path," the owl advised.

"Focus on what you want and the answer will come," the cheetah offered.

"Follow your instincts they will never let you down," the wolf growled.

Vin focused intently on the paths, amazingly as he focused he could see the masks covering the faces of the players on the paths. Letting his instincts guide him, he gasped when he realized that on one path the masks were missing from the men and women who traveled that distance. He knew then, these were the true selves of his family and this was the path he must take. "Thank you my brothers, my path is clear now."

"You are welcome little one, fly true on the path you travel," brother owl spoke, disappearing in a puff of smoke.

"You are welcome little brother, be faitful to your instinct and it will be faithful to you," the wolf advised, fading into the mists.

"You're welcome tenahp, may your focus remain steady," the cheetah growled, running off through the wall of the lodge.

Opening his eyes, Vin smiled, a feeling of lightness surrounding him as he prepared to take the next step on his journey.

TBC.

Hope y'all liked this chapter. Please feed the muse with reviews.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own the Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Slash, Angst

Rating: FRT

Lost

Chapter 8

In a dark bedroom a figure twisted beneath the sheets, tangling himself in them as a nightmare engulfed him, allowing no escape. Quiet moans filled the room, but nobody was there to hear them. Hands fisted in the sheets, tugging on them, a few mumbled words escaping from his throat. Begging forgiveness from another who wasn't there to hear. Pleas for comfort and help fell on an empty room. With a sudden cry, bitten off before it could fully form, he jerked upright in the bed, breathing harshly as though he'd just ran ten miles.

Buck glanced frantically around the room, almost expecting to see Vin standing in the corner, staring at him with hate filled eyes. "A dream," he whispered, "it was just a dream." He could only hope that it remained a dream. If what he'd done caused Vin to act like he'd been in his nightmare... Buck shuddered, the remnants of the nightmare fresh in his mind. Laying back against the pillows, he scrubbed a hand over his face, as though with this simple action he could erase the images of the nightmare. Glancing at the clock, he saw that the alarm would be sounding in an hour. "No more sleep tonight," he sighed. Throwing back the covers, he climbed from the bed and made his way down the hall to the shower.

Standing under the steaming water, Buck couldn't banish the dream or the feelings it had brought to the surface. He knew he could never make things right with Vin, no matter what he wanted. How could he ever expect Vin to be comfortable around him again? There sure wasn't any way Vin would be able to trust him again. Buck didn't hold any illusions about that, not that he blamed the younger man for feeling that way. He knew if the roles had been reversed he would've found it impossible to trust again after such a horrible betrayal of his friendship. He shook his head, berating himself as a fool. The roles would never have been reversed, because Vin would've found a way to escape the situation without hurting him. Buck had given in though, had done as Spencer ordered, his fear for Vin's life driving rational thought from his mind. As the water washed away the sweat, but not the feelings of filth and shame, Buck began to wonder if JD was right. "Did I take advantage of the situation? Is that why I didn't find a way out of it, because I wanted Vin? Dear God what kind of man am I? How do I face him again? I can't...I have to resign, there's no way I can face him. Stop it Buck!" he ordered himself. "You owe it to him to be there when he walks into the office today. You ain't got the right to avoid him, to run. You only leave if he tells you to and if he does you get without an argument. If you do nothing else for him you make sure he don't feel guilty for asking you to leave the team." Buck lectured himself, unaware of the tears that were beginning to streak his cheeks at the thought of leaving his only family behind. Of leaving the man he loved, never to see him again, never to hear his voice or look into those beautiful eyes. As the water turned cold it took a few minutes for it to register. Turning off the stream of water, he reached for a towel.

In a short while he was dried off, dressed and heading for Chris' kitchen. Starting a pot of coffee, he gathered the ingredients for a world class omelet. He didn't feel much like eating, but Chris had been a good friend, giving up his weekend to take care of him and Buck wanted to let him know it was appreciated.

"You're up early," Chris commented as he stepped into the kitchen. Pulling a mug from the cabinet, he poured himself a cup of coffee.

Buck shrugged, "Wanted to fix you some breakfast, kind of a thank you for putting up with me all weekend."

"Didn't have anything to do with the bad dream you had?" Chris casually asked.

Buck turned, staring at his old friend as he leaned against the counter, sipping his coffee. "How'd you know?"

"Didn't, but figured you might've had one. Want to talk about it?"

"Nope. Grab a plate will ya?" Buck asked. Finishing up the omelet, he slid it onto the plate Chris held.

He considered forcing the issued, but decided to let it slide for now. Turning his attention to the stove, Chris eyed the skillet, noticing that Buck had already put the eggs away. "Aren't you having any?"

"I already ate," Buck lied.

"Buck you need to eat and don't lie to me again, you forget how well I know you."

"I'm too nervous to eat Chris," Buck admitted.

"He'll forgive ya Buck," Chris soothed.

"He shouldn't have to forgive me," Buck snapped. "I raped him, betrayed him in the worst way a man can betray a friend, how can he forgive that?"

"Because Vin is a forgiving man and a fair one. He knows you had no choice in what you did. Buck you're as much a victim as he is and Vin will understand that."

"You really think I'm gonna walk into that office today and everything's gonna be fine?"

"No," Chris honestly replied. "I think Vin will be willing to forgive ya and I think he'll do his best, but it won't happen overnight."

Buck stared at his oldest friend for several minutes. "Thank you Chris, don't think I could've stood ya trying to feed me a bunch of platitudes and pretty lies."

"We've always been honest with each other Buck, I sure ain't gonna change that now."

"Good, now I'm gonna go feed the horses while you have your breakfast. When I'm done I'll get dressed for work and we can go on in." Not giving Chris a chance to say anything, Buck turned and left the house.

Chris watched him go, a sad look playing over his handsome face. Sighing heavily, he hoped that Buck and Vin could work things out. He hated to think what it would do to the team, the family if they didn't. Deep down he knew that if Vin couldn't forgive Buck and/or if Buck couldn't forgive himself the family they'd cobbled together was finished.

He supposed Ezra would probably go to Vegas or somewhere like that, using the skills his mother had taught him to survive. Survive is all he'd do though, that sort of life would quickly turn him back into the distrusting, distant man he'd been when he first joined the team. Nathan would be alright, he'd still have Raine, maybe he'd even go back to medical school. Josiah would probably retire, spending more time helping out at his mission. JD, well he had a good future ahead of him with the ATF, with or without the team backing him. Chris had his ranch, but it would be a damned lonely place without the rest of the team dropping in on the weekends. Joining him for cookouts and trail rides, watching the game on Sunday afternoons and arguing over who would win. What worried him the most was what it would do to Buck and Vin if they broke apart over what had happened. Both men would blame themselves for the pain their friends were dealing with. Vin would probably go back to bounty hunting and with that guilt eating at him, he'd take foolish chances. It scared Chris to think of how short his friend's life would probably be if he took that route. Buck wouldn't be any better, except instead of losing himself in work, he'd lose himself in chasing the ladies. Any lady, married or single, until some jealous boyfriend or husband shot him. Absently Chris finished his breakfast and headed for his own shower. Damn it! He couldn't let the team be destroyed by what Philip Spencer had done. There had to be a way to help Buck and Vin repair the damage, they couldn't let Spencer win.

Buck came back into the house after feeding the horses. Hearing the shower running, he went to the guest room and pulled some clean work clothes from the closet. He choked back a grief stricken sound at the sight of Vin's clothes hanging from the rod. Each of them had taken to leaving some suitable clothes in the guest room at Chris' ranch for mornings like this. Buck had made sure that his clothes hung next to Vin's. It had made him feel like a stupid kid when he'd done it, still did, but he couldn't help himself. Now though, it only served as a cruel reminder of what he'd done and of what he'd lost. Quickly he shut the closet door and got dressed. Stepping out of the bedroom, he nearly ran into Chris, "Sorry," he mumbled as he shouldered his way past his old friend.

Chris took a step back, barely avoiding the collision with Buck. He stared after him in surprise, his worry for his men and family climbing another notch. Blowing out a breath, he followed Buck out to the truck and slid behind the wheel. Without a word, he turned the key in the ignition and pulled out of the drive for the silent drive to work. As he drove, Chris kept shooting looks in his friend's direction, but he said nothing. He couldn't help noticing that the closer they got to the office the more Buck fidgeted in the seat next to him, putting him in mind of a five year old on the first day of school. Just in time, he stopped himself from reaching over to pat his shoulder and assure him it would be okay. Chris smiled as he pictured Buck's likely reaction to being treated like a little boy.

Buck tried to stay calm, but it was no use. The closer they got to the federal building that housed their team office, the more nervous he became. When Chris pulled up to the last light before the parking garage, he nearly jumped from the truck and ran. The only thing that stopped him was knowing that Vin deserved better than that. As the big pick-up rumbled down the ramp to the garage, Buck automatically scanned the lot for Vin's jeep. He sucked in a sudden breath, not knowing whether to be relieved or worried when he didn't see it.

"He's probably just running late," Chris assured him.

"You sure?" Buck asked. In that moment any relief he might've felt at the delay in facing Vin was gone, worry was all he could feel. "Maybe he decided to not come back."

"No, he wouldn't do that."

"I know ya know him real well Chris, y'all are closer than brothers but you can't be sure of that."

"Yes I can and so can you Buck," Chris argued. "I'm not saying he won't decide to leave, he could do that. What I am saying is Vin wouldn't walk away without a word. He'd come to the office and he'd leave the right way, you know it too."

Buck nodded, knowing Chris was right. "Guess we better go on upstairs and get the coffee started before he does show up," he tried to joke. Vin's coffee was notorious throughout the building as undrinkable. In fact Vin and Josiah were the only two in the entire place that could drink it and even Josiah couldn't handle it every day.

"Good idea," Chris lightly replied. As they rode the elevator to their floor, he did his best to push his own worry away. It was probably like he'd told Buck, Vin was just running late. It did happen every once in a while and God knew he had plenty of reason for being late today. Chris nodded, that was all it was, Vin was just nervous about facing Buck. It made sense, after all that had happened, of course he would be nervous. Feeling better, Chris calmly stepped off the elevator as the doors opened on their floor. Striding to the team seven offices, he walked inside and headed straight for his office. Depositing his briefcase on the desk, he settled in and began to sort through the papers in the case. Focusing on the papers, Chris was proud that he only looked at the door leading from the hallway half a dozen times in thirty minutes. "Oh the hell with it," he snapped, reaching for the phone just as the door opened and Vin walked through it. Jumping up he stormed into the bullpen, "Where the hell have you been?"

"Good morning to you too cowboy," Vin drawled. "I know ya can't be this jumpy because of any coffee ya drank. Can't you or Buck make a decent cup of mud," he teased. He knew why Chris was snapping and he hoped that by behaving like it was any other morning he could make the other man see that he was overreacting.

"Now we know what the problem is," Chris smiled, recognizing what Vin was doing. "All this time we thought you were trying to make coffee and you were making mud."

"Better than trying to make colored water like you boys," Vin shot back. "But," with a put upon sigh, "it's better than nothing and I could use something hot." Nodding at Buck as he passed him, he made his way to the break room.

Pouring himself a cup of coffee, he leaned against the wall, using both hands to hold the cup steady. After the visions he'd had up on the mountain he had fooled himself into thinking that coming back to work would be simple. "Stupid," he berated himself. He should've known better. Yes his spirit animals had helped him in finding the answers he needed. With their help he knew the path he needed to take, what he had forgotten was that it wouldn't be easy. This was a learning experience, one of the trials the spirits sometimes sent to a man to test him and help him grow. He had been told that the spirits sorely tested those who they loved best. They wanted to see men mature past an adolescent stage of development, a stage most of humanity would never escape. There were some though that the spirits believed had the capacity to grow into true maturity and Vin had been told years ago by one of the elders that he was such a one. It was however, up to him to rise above the tests they sent his way, learn from them and use them to grow. The alternative was to sink into bitter despair, allowing the trials he endured to turn him into a man who would prey on those weaker than himself, perpetuating the cycles of violence that lived in this world.

Yet, it was hard to remember that when he was hurting, and right now he hurt. He hurt for himself and his friend, it wasn't fair that they had been put through this. It wasn't fair that Buck was blaming himself for what he'd done and it wasn't right that a part of Vin was blaming him too. He had come into the office today, determined to carry on as though nothing had happened. He had forgiven Buck during his time on the mountain, at least he had thought he had. He saw now that he had only been kidding himself. It was going to take more than a weekend on the mountain and an understanding that Buck was as much a victim as he was if he was to find the path his vision had shown him. "What did the vision show ya?" he asked himself. "No masks, ya got to be yourself if you want them to drop their masks." He had noticed it when he was in the office, Buck was already hiding behind a mask when he came through the door. Chris' slipped into place a moment after Vin's greeting. He had no doubt the rest of the team would be wearing masks as well. This was new territory for them all, none of them, not even Ezra, had ever been betrayed so badly by a friend. Taking a deep breath, he pushed himself off the wall and walked back into the main office.

"Good morning brother Vin," Josiah boomed, hiding his worry, determined to behave normally.

"Morning Josiah," he nodded, moving past him to his desk. Sitting down, he made no effort to mask his discomfort and nervousness, though he did nothing to draw attention to it either. A few minutes later, Nathan and JD came through the door, each greeting Vin with the same false tone in their voices as Josiah's had carried. Vin noticed of course, but he ignored it as he settled down to work.

Buck nervously watched Vin all morning. He noticed the subdued greetings he gave each of their teammates as they walked into the office. The nervous glances that were shot his way didn't escape his notice either, nor did he miss how carefully Vin focused on his work. He wished there was something he could say, but he had no idea what that should be. What do you say to a friend you've betrayed? Sighing deeply, he forced himself to concentrate on his own work, waiting for Vin to make the first move. For the first half of the morning the atmosphere in the office was uncomfortable, almost as if the room were occupied by strangers. Then a strange thing happened, as though Vin's obvious nervousness and discomfort gave them permission to feel their own, the others began to fidget nervously. Oddly, it helped Buck to relax as he noticed, first JD, followed quickly by Nathan and Josiah, beginning to let their discomfort be seen. He didn't like knowing that he was the cause of the discomfort in the air, but at least his friends no longer felt like strangers. Even Ezra, late as usual, was having a hard time hiding his unease.

Softly Vin smiled, ducking his head to hide it from his friends. The vision had been right. If he wanted his friends to be themselves, which included being uncomfortable, then he couldn't hide his feelings. He didn't need to flaunt his edginess, his discomfort, but he couldn't try to pretend it didn't exist. He was a part of a family now and families dealt with their problems together, not alone as he'd always done. He understood now, by owning his pain and acknowledging the power it held over him he would give his friends permission to help him deal with it, in the end healing all of them.

TBC

Hope y'all liked it. Help keep the muse alive, please review.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own The Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Slash

Rating: FRT

Italics and/or // indicates flashbacks.

Lost

Chapter 9

Buck watched Vin from across the room, wishing he could go to him. He didn't want to make a move on him, well he did, but he wouldn't. What he wanted, right now, was just to be able to talk to his friend again. To be able to joke with him, shoot a game of pool, heck just hang out like they used to. He sighed heavily, telling himself he had to accept that those days were gone forever. Buck knew he should just count himself lucky that Vin was able to work with him again, allowing him to keep his teammates in his life. Thoughts of his teammates inevitably brought up thoughts of JD, the little brother that wouldn't even look at him now, except to glare at him, warning him to leave Vin alone. Feeling that glare on him now, he forced his eyes back to the papers he'd been trying and failing to focus on for the past hour. A month, he could hardly believe it'd been that long since the horrible night all their lives had changed.

Vin could feel Buck's eyes on him, he wasn't sure when it had happened, but he was relieved to say that his friend's presence no longer made him as uncomfortable as it had. Fact was he was actually able to consider spending more time with Buck, with or without the team. He couldn't say everything was back to normal yet though and JD wasn't helping. It was ironic really, not what he would've expected. A small chuckle escaped, good thing he hadn't put any money on that one. After the initial discomfort had passed, they had all of them followed Vin's lead. Not one of them had tried to hide his feelings, each one dealing with it in whatever way worked best for him. With none of them reacting in quite the way Vin expected.

He had expected Chris to beat Buck to a pulp, instead it had been Chris who had taken care of Buck. Gave him a place to live when he couldn't face going back to his own apartment, never making him feel rushed to find another place. Buck hadn't lingered long at the ranch though. Understanding how much Vin needed his best friend while he healed, Buck had quickly found a new place to live. He hadn't gone for an apartment this time though, instead he'd bought a small ranch about half-way between Chris' ranch and Denver. Vin didn't blame Chris for taking care of Buck, he was glad he hadn't turned his back on his oldest friend, that wouldn't have been right. Of course Chris had been there for him too, though it must've been difficult at times for him to balance between the two of them.

He had expected Josiah to offer some kind of philosophical or religious story. Something meant to make him feel better. Something that would make him struggle to keep from planting a fist in Josiah's face. Instead the older man had simply been there, had treated him like he always did, while offering quiet support. He ofter asked for his help down at the mission where he volunteered, and that had helped more than any platitude ever could have. In helping others Vin felt himself healing, a little at a time. Looking back on it, he was sure Josiah had known that would happen, silently he thanked the spirits for giving him such good friends.

Nathan, who usually hovered whenever one of them was injured was surprisingly absent. He hadn't ignored him, he just seemed to understand that Vin needed space. Luckily there hadn't been much in the way of physical injury, not with Buck being as careful as he could during the attack. Still that had never kept Nathan from hovering before. He hadn't been sure what to make of it, had even considered the possibility that he thought Vin deserved what had happened, or maybe it was his bi-sexuality that was the problem. He'd finally asked him last week...

//"_Nathan can I talk to you?" _

_Nathan looked up from where he sat in the break room, "Sure Vin, what ya need?"_

_"I was wondering, um, you ain't been acting like yourself the last few weeks..." Vin had looked away, suddenly uncertain about this conversation._

_"You mean since the attack on you and Buck?"_

_"Yeah," Vin whispered. Clearing his throat, he tried again. "Ya usually hover whenever one of us is hurt."_

_"I guess I do, did you want me hovering?" Nathan couldn't help being amused and he knew it was coming through in his voice._

_Vin smiled, the last few weeks might've been rough but his sense of humor was still intact. "Never thought I would miss your mother hen act, but I guess in its own way it's kind of comforting. Of course if ya ever tell anybody I said that, I'll have to kill ya," he teased._

_"Understood," Nathan grinned._

_Vin took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "Nate, do you have a problem with me being bi-sexual? Do ya think maybe it was somehow my fault that Spencer got the idea to make Buck rape me?"_

_Nathan stared at him in shock, his mouth hanging open as his brain tried to process the questions. It was only when Vin started to leave the room that he shook himself free of the surprise that had him rooted to the spot. "Vin wait," he called. He couldn't help gasping when Vin turned around, his dark blue eyes bruised with the pain he'd inadvertently caused._

_"It's okay Nate, ya got a right to feel how ya do," Vin mumbled, quickly looking away._

_"But that isn't how I feel Vin."_

_"It's not?"_

_"NO!," immediately contrite, Nathan lowered his voice. "Sorry, but no it's not. The way I see it the only person to blame for what happened to you and Buck is Philip Spencer. The fact that y'all are bi-sexual doesn't mean a damn thing. Spencer got the idea because you were there, you're Buck's friend and in his warped mind he saw it as the perfect revenge."_

_"Then why haven't you been hovering like you normally do?"_

_"Because I knew you needed space to deal with what happened to you. I know what you're going through Vin and I know you, I figured the last thing you needed was me playing mother hen."_

_"I appreciate that Nate, but ya don't know what I'm going through and I thank the spirits that you don't."_

_"You're right Vin, I don't know from first-hand experience. But I do know from something that happened back when I was in medical school."_

_"Something to do with why you dropped out?"_

_"A friend of mine, he was bi-sexual too. Doug was a nice guy, would've made a hell of a doctor some day."_

_"What happened to him?"_

_"He never hid his preferences, he didn't flaunt them either," Nathan made sure Vin knew the man wasn't like that. "He was just a regular guy, who happened to like both men and women. One night on his way home from the movies he was attacked, beaten and raped. Doug was a brave man Vin, you remind me of him in some ways, he went to the campus police. He reported it that night, went to the hospital, did everything the way he was supposed to. They conveniently lost the rape kit and all the pictures of his bruises. From then on out he was harassed by students and faculty alike. He finally had all he could take and left school. During all this and after he left I heard a lot of talk about it being his own fault. These weren't students ya understand, it was the teachers, doctors, saying that if he hadn't chosen to be like that it never would've happened. They acted like it was his fault that he was bi-sexual and that he'd been raped. I left right after that, didn't want any part of a profession that acted like that towards the victim of a horrible crime. I tried to stay in touch but a couple months after he left school, he stopped answering my letters. I got a letter from him about a year later. He'd went home and instead of avoiding him, his family and friends hovered. He said that it never occurred to him that it could be a bad thing to have folks hovering, but it was. It made him feel like he couldn't breathe, like he didn't dare let himself feel whatever he felt because with them hovering he was afraid he'd fall apart and never be able to pick up the pieces again. Eventually he did just that, he'd just gotten out of a psychiatric hospital after a nervous breakdown when he wrote me that letter."_

_"I'm sorry for your friend Nate," Vin managed past the lump in his throat._

_"Aww Vin, I didn't tell you that to upset ya. I just wanted you to know that I have some idea of what you're going through. I gave you space because I didn't want to end up in a psychiatric hospital like Doug. Frankly Vin, I'm not sure you could survive something like that."_

_"You're probably right about that Nate." Reaching down he pulled him to his feet, hugging him for a moment, "Thank you for your friendship Nathan." Letting him go, he left the room, feeling a lot better than when he'd entered it.//_

Finally there was Ezra and JD, it was tossup as to which one had been the bigger surprise. Ezra who tended to keep his distance whenever emotions were involved had been there for him whenever he needed him. It was Ezra that he called in the middle of the night when he couldn't face calling Chris, for fear Buck would answer the phone. Ezra who listened to him, no matter what time of day or night it was. Held him when it all became too much for him and he couldn't hold back the tears any longer. If circumstances had been different he might have thought Ezra had an ulterior motive, but he knew what nobody else on the team did. Ezra's heart belonged to another, a bad-tempered, green-eyed blond who had no clue of the love their conman held for him.

He supposed, if he were honest, it was JD that had surprised him the most. It wasn't right the way he was acting towards Buck. He had looked up to Buck from the beginning, seen him as the big brother he'd never had. Buck had taken to the role too, protecting JD, often from himself and doing his best to teach him what he needed to know, not only as an ATF agent, but as a man. Vin shook his head, how could JD just turn his back on a relationship like that? It wasn't right damn it! He wouldn't pretend he was completely comfortable around Buck yet, but he had forgiven him. He understood that Buck had been a victim too, so why couldn't JD understand it? Glancing over at the younger man, he frowned at the glare he saw aimed in Buck's direction. Pushing himself to his feet, he headed to Chris' office, knocking on the door even as he opened it.

Chris glanced up as the door opened, "What's up Vin?"

"JD," Vin replied, sinking into a chair.

Chris frowned, "What about him? Did he say something to you?" He didn't think JD would say anything to hurt Vin, but by god if he had he'd find out what people meant when they spoke of the wrath of Chris Larabee.

"Nah, he ain't said nothing out of line to me," Vin quickly assured his friend. "I ain't real happy with him though."

"You want me to have a talk with him?"

A smile crossed his face, "Thanks, but no. I want to take JD to lunch, I think we need to talk."

Chris was confused, "Okay, but ya don't need my permission to take JD to lunch."

"Know that cowboy," Vin smirked. "Figured I should tell ya we might be late getting back."

"Tell me? Don't you mean ask if it's okay?"

Vin thought about it for a minute, "Nope, I mean tell ya," he grinned.

Chris glared at him, not surprised when it didn't faze the younger man.

"Oh alright, if it'll make ya feel better cowboy. It okay if I take JD for a long lunch so's we can talk?"

"One of these days I'm gonna shoot you Tanner..."

"But not today."

"Not today," Chris confirmed. "Go on, take all the time ya need."

"Thanks Chris."

A hand landing on his back had JD looking up, "Hey Vin, what ya need?"

"I'm getting hungry, want to go grab a burger kid?"

"Um, well, I don't know...I mean it ain't lunch time yet, won't Chris get mad?"

"Nah, I already asked him. Come on JD," Vin insisted, pulling him to his feet and grabbing his jacket. "Here's your coat, let's go eat."

Taking the jacket, JD slipped it on and followed Vin out the door. "What about everybody else?"

"They're going to the saloon for lunch," Vin absently replied as they waited for the elevator.

"There a reason we're not?"

Vin shrugged, "Just wanted something different. Thought we could go over to Bailey's get a couple of their burgers, some fries."

"They do make good burgers," JD mumbled.

"Best in town," Vin corrected.

"Yeah," JD grinned. He could already taste it, and for a minute he forgot to wonder why Vin was inviting him to lunch alone. As they arrived in the parking garage and climbed into Vin's jeep, he thought about it again. "Vin?"

"Yeah JD?" Putting the jeep in gear, he backed out of the space and headed for the surface.

"I was wondering...why do I suddenly feel like a man about to have his last meal?"

"I ain't gonna kill ya JD."

"I know that, I just meant... Hell, I don't know what I meant," JD sighed.

Vin didn't say anything, just kept driving until they reached the hamburger stand. He ordered them each a special with fries and cokes. As they waited for the food to be ready, neither spoke, both of them lost in thought. Finally the burgers were ready and Vin quickly retrieved their lunch. Handing the sacks to JD, he pulled out of the parking lot and drove back to the federal building, parking down the street where they wouldn't be seen.

"Why did ya park so far away?" JD asked, reaching for the door handle.

"Stay put JD," Vin softly ordered.

"What? Why?"

"I want ya to do something for me?"

JD gave him a puzzled look, "Do something?"

"Yeah. In a few minutes the others will be leaving for lunch, I want you to watch them and tell me what you see."

"That's it?" JD asked incredulously. "What's this about Vin?"

"Just do it kid, then we'll talk," Vin promised. Grabbing his bag, he relaxed back in his seat and started eating, ignoring the puzzled looks JD kept shooting his way. A few minutes later the rest of the team came outside, walking down the street to the saloon. Vin watched as the five men walked companionably along the sidewalk. He noticed too how Buck kept slightly apart from the others, continuously looking over his shoulder as if he were searching for something. Disappointment clearly written on his face each time he failed to find it.

"What am I supposed to be looking at Vin?" JD snapped.

"Watch them, what ya see?"

"I see our teammates going to lunch," JD replied. His tone clearly said he didn't know what other answer Vin was looking for.

"Our teammates?"

"Yeah," JD answered uncertainly. "What do you see?"

"I see a group of friends, a family, enjoying each other's company. I see one that is a little apart though, he ain't able to relax cause he's missing the two that ain't there. Especially the one he thought was his little brother," Vin softly replied.

"It isn't my fault that I'm not there."

"Isn't it?"

"How can you expect me to be friends with him after what he did?" JD demanded.

"Because he was a victim too and because it ain't your place to judge him JD," Vin gently answered, ignoring the younger man's sharp tone.

"How can you forgive him? He raped you, there's no excuse for that!"

"That's right JD, he raped me, not you."

"I don't understand Vin, how can you forgive him when I can't?"

"I don't know JD, but I know it's tearing him apart that you won't forgive him. He's your best friend JD, your big brother and he deserves better from you."

"You wouldn't say that if you knew the whole truth."

"What truth are you talking about JD?"

"Buck wants you Vin, he has for a long time. That's why he didn't find a way to get out of raping you, because he wanted to take you."

"You really believe that?" Vin sadly asked.

"He said it himself," JD growled.

"He said that he went along with raping me because he wanted me?"

"Well no," JD admitted. "But he did say he wanted you..."

"Or he said he loved me?"

JD's eyes widened in shock, "You knew?"

"I heard the tape Spencer had of that night JD, including the part where Buck kept apologizing to me and telling me he loved me."

"That makes it okay?"

"No, but he didn't have a choice JD. You're looking at this wrong kid," Vin spoke quietly, laying his hand on the younger man's shoulder. "You keep thinking Buck raped me and he did, but you're forgetting that in a way he was raped too that night."

"Oh my god, you really mean that don't you?"

"Yeah JD, I do."

"Do you love him?"

"No, not right now."

"You could though?"

"I don't know JD," Vin sighed. "Before this I would've said I could, but it's harder now. I ain't lying when I say I forgive Buck, but that don't mean I'm a hundred percent comfortable around him yet. Then there's the way he feels too, I know he hasn't forgiven himself yet, I don't know if he ever can. I been thinking about it though JD, if we don't at least try then Spencer wins and I sure don't want to let that happen."

"You'd actually give him a chance?"

"Maybe, I don't know. I just ain't willing to write it off completely, not yet." Vin shook his head, wondering how they'd gotten so far off track. "That isn't why I brung ya out here JD. I hate to see you letting this destroy your friendship with Buck. It's hurting him JD."

"He never even came back to the apartment, never tried to make things right with me," JD protested, unwilling to take all of the blame. "He had Chris come and pack his stuff, then he bought that ranch..."

"Goddamn it JD! Of course he didn't come back to the apartment, between the memories and the way you're acting why would he? He figured you didn't want anything to do with him, doubt he even blames you for it, and he sure didn't want to be in that apartment. So he left it to you and got himself a place of his own."

JD flinched, he hadn't thought of any of that. All he'd seen was that Buck wasn't coming to him to talk, he was turning to Chris, not him. Already angry at him for what he'd done to Vin, feeling as though he'd betrayed all of them, Buck turning to Chris had been the last straw. "I've been a selfish brat haven't I?"

"Just so's ya'd notice."

"I'm sorry Vin." 

"I ain't the one you should be saying sorry to JD."

"Yes you are," JD argued. "You're not the only one though," he sighed. "Where do I start?"

"Why don't ya start with taking him out for a drink after work and a long overdue talk," Vin suggested.

"That's a good idea," JD agreed. Glancing at his watch, he was surprised to see they were already half an hour late. He had been so busy talking to Vin he hadn't noticed the time or when the others had returned to the building. "Vin we're late, we better get back."

"It's alright JD, I cleared it with Chris," Vin soothed him as he started the jeep. A couple of minutes later they were parked in the garage and headed for the elevator.

"Vin? Are you really willing to give Buck a chance?"

"I'm willing to be his friend and I ain't completely ruling out anything else. I don't want to see Philip Spencer win but to be honest I don't know if either of us can get past the damage he caused." Without another word, he stepped into the elevator.

TBC

Hope y'all liked it. Please review, the muse loves reviews.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own the Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Slash

Rating: FRT

Lost

Chapter 10

"Buck," JD nervously approached the older agent as the workday came to a close.

Buck glanced up from his paperwork in surprise, "Yeah JD?"

"Um, well, I was just wondering, I know we ain't done nothing in a while, and that's my fault," he rushed to say.

Buck sighed, "JD, whatever it is, just spit it out."

Nodding, JD took a breath, "Could we go grab a beer?"

"You mean it?" Buck barely dared to breathe as he waited for JD to answer.

"Yeah, so how about it?"

"What are we still doing here?" Buck asked. Quickly shutting down his computer, he stood up and grabbed his jacket. "Come on JD, let's go get a beer," he grinned, grabbing JD's arm and pulling him out the door.

JD stumbled as he tried to keep up with Buck, "I can walk Buck," he protested.

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Buck mumbled, letting go of JD like he'd been burned. Damn, what was wrong with him? He was a grown man for pete's sake and here he was acting like a little kid just invited to hang out with the cool kids.

JD felt awful when he saw Buck's reaction. Looked like Vin was right about how much his behavior had hurt Buck. He'd never expected to see his big brother so grateful for his attention and it left him feeling like something that should be scraped off the bottom of your shoe. "Buck, could we just get a six pack and go to the apartment?"

Buck paled, "Um, would you mind coming out to my place instead?" Buck had never thought he was a coward, but he wasn't ready to face being in that apartment.

JD didn't think it was possible to feel any worse, but the sight of Buck's face draining of color proved him wrong. "I'm sorry Buck, I wasn't thinking. Your place would be fine," he added.

Buck blushed, embarrassed that JD realized that he was scared. What the hell did it matter anyway? The kid already didn't think much of him, guess one more thing wouldn't make any difference. Without a word he headed for his truck, he stopped when he realized JD wasn't behind him. Hanging his head, he waited for JD to tell him he'd changed his mind about the beer.

"You pick up the beer, I'll grab a pizza and meet you there, okay?"

"Sure," Buck grinned, again feeling like that kid on the playground. "You know where my place is?"

"Yeah, I know. See ya in a little while," with a wave of his hand, JD walked to his own car and slid behind the wheel.

Chris stepped out of his office just in time to see Buck and JD walking out the door. "Guess you and JD had a good talk?" he asked, leaning against Vin's desk.

"Looks that way," Vin replied.

"You got doubts?"

Vin shrugged, "Not really."

Chris raised an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side.

"Aw hell Chris, you know JD ain't exactly tactful."

"You're worried he'll say something to hurt Buck?"

Vin sighed, "Guess I am. It ain't right that their friendship is suffering over this, I don't want to see them hurting anymore."

"No, it ain't right, but it's not real surprising. JD has looked up to all of us, but Buck is special to him, the big brother he never had and a hero all wrapped up together. Now he's found out that his hero is only human and he don't know how to handle it."

"Yeah, I just hope I didn't push him into something he ain't ready for."

"You didn't," Chris assured him.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know you cowboy," he replied. "You've got an ability to read people like nothing I've ever seen and I don't think it'd let you down now. JD needed a push, but you wouldn't have pushed if he wasn't ready. Don't worry Vin, they'll work it out."

"If they don't?"

"Then we'll figure something else out. Come on cowboy, let's go get a drink," he offered his hand, pulling Vin to his feet. The rest of the team had left while they were talking, leaving just the two of them in the office. Quickly they shut everything down and grabbed their coats. They were almost to the door when Mary Travis stepped into the office. "Mary," he greeted.

"Chris I need to talk to you," she quietly informed him.

"No time," he refused, steering Vin towards the door.

"What do you mean no time?" Mary demanded. "I need to talk to you Chris," she repeated. She watched in consternation as the two men ignored her and continued towards the door. "It's the end of the day, surely you can spare a few minutes," she tried again, following them to the elevator. "Well where are you going?" she asked when they didn't say anything.

The two men glanced at each other, then back at Mary, "Saloon," they answered together. Just then the elevator doors opened, allowing them to step inside and make their escape. Grinning at Mary, Chris nodded goodbye as he pushed the button and the doors slid shut.

Vin grinned, "What was that all about cowboy?"

"What?" Chris innocently asked.

"You sure seemed eager to get away from Mary..."

Chris shrugged, "Didn't feel like talking."

"Uh-huh, what function she wanting you to take her to this time?"

"I don't know and don't want to know," Chris mumbled.

"Thought you liked Mary."

"I do, but only as a friend. She understood that at first, but lately she's been pushing for more."

"You don't want more?"

"Not with, um, no I don't."

It was Vin's turn to raise an eyebrow, "There somebody you want more with?"

"I don't know, just know Mary isn't it," Chris replied as the elevator opened.

Buck arrived at his house, relieved that he had beat JD there, it would give him a chance to get himself under control. Hurrying inside, he slid the six pack of beer into the fridge and grabbed a stack of paper plates, setting them on the table. Absently, he began to straighten the house, as though that would matter to JD, but he needed the activity. Glancing at the clock, he was surprised to see thirty minutes had passed since he'd arrived home. Buck was sure his young friend would be there any minute, twenty minutes later, he wasn't so sure. Pacing the length of the living room, he kept looking outside, ten anxious minutes later and he was convinced that JD had changed his mind. Stalking to the fridge, he pulled the six pack from the fridge, removing one of the beers he opened it, downing it in three gulps. Tossing it into the trash, it was soon followed by a second bottle. The sound of a vehicle pulling up outside had him putting the third bottle back in the carton and walking outside.

"Sorry it took me so long Buck, the pizza place was a madhouse," JD explained as he carried the pizza towards the house.

"Could've called," Buck sullenly pointed out.

"Payphone was broke and my cell has a dead battery."

"Oh, well come on inside with that pie, I'm about to starve."

"You look it," JD teased as he walked through the door Buck held open for him. "Start without me?"

"Got thirsty," Buck defended.

Hearing the defensive tone in Buck's voice, JD suspected there was more to it than that. "Did you think I wasn't coming?" he quietly asked.

"No," Buck quickly denied, "yeah," admitting the truth in the next breath.

"Guess I would've thought the same in your shoes," JD conceded. "Got us a supreme, you want to hand me a couple of them plates?"

"You didn't get any anchovies did you?" Buck asked suspiciously, handing over the plates.

"Only on my half."

"Damn it JD, now the whole pizza is gonna taste like them things," Buck complained.

"How old are you Buck?"

"I ain't acting like a kid, it's true and you know it."

JD chuckled, "Don't worry Buck, your pizza won't be contaminated, I had them put the anchovies on the side."

"Think you're pretty funny don't ya kid?"

"Yep," JD agreed. Grabbing a beer, he headed for the living room with his plate. Settling in on the couch, he picked up the remote and turned the t.v. to a country music channel. "Nice place," he complimented as Buck joined him.

"Thanks," Buck replied as he settled into his recliner. For a while neither man spoke, each of them trying to find a way to move beyond the banter they were used to.

"I'm sorry Buck," JD finally spoke.

"Sorry?"

"Yeah, I had no right to treat you like I've been doing."

"JD," Buck sighed. "You had every right to feel the way ya do."

"No I didn't Buck..."

"Sure ya did, I hurt your friend, I don't blame you for being mad at me."

"That wasn't the reason though, not completely, and that's why I had no right to act like I did." 

Buck stared at him for a moment, stunned by his words. "What was the reason then?"

"At first I told myself that it was because of what happened with Vin, and that was part of it. Wasn't all of it though, mostly it was...jealousy," he mumbled the last word, his face flushed with shame.

"Jealousy? Cause of how I feel about Vin?"

"Partly, and because you turned to Chris for support instead of me. I was mad cause you never even came back to the apartment, just had Chris come and pack your things. I thought we were better friends than that, damn it! I'm sorry Buck, that wasn't fair," he mumbled, his shame growing.

"I didn't think you wanted anything to do with me and well guess you'll think I'm a coward, but I couldn't face being in the apartment."

"You were right, that's why I said it wasn't fair for me to act like that. I was angry over what you did to Vin, and because of what you feel for him. I convinced myself that you weren't the kind of friend I wanted and at the same time I was missing my big brother so much I didn't know what to do. So when Chris came to get your things, I told myself that it was proof you weren't really a good friend. I've been a jackass Buck and I'm sorry," he quietly ended his confession.

"I won't argue that JD, but this situation ain't exactly something you can prepare for."

"I want to be friends again Buck."

"So do I JD," Buck smiled, settling back in his chair, truly relaxing for the first time all evening. "Are you managing the apartment alright?"

"Yeah, little strange to have all that room to myself though. I don't suppose you'd consider moving back in?" JD shyly asked.

Buck sighed heavily, "No JD, I'm sorry but I can't. I don't know if I'll ever be able to even visit the place again, but I'm sure I'll never be able to live there."

"That's what I figured, but I had to ask."

"Look at it this way kid, now you won't have to worry about being interrupted if you and Casey want some time alone," he grinned, waggling his eyebrows. "Of course, you'll still have to worry about Nettie tracking you down with her Spencer carbine if you don't treat that girl right," he teased. "Then there's what Vin will do to you."

JD swallowed hard, "Thanks Buck, I really didn't need the reminder."

"That's what big brothers are for, ain't it?"

"Is that what they're for? I thought they were so you'd have somebody to take the heat when the parents get mad."

"Did you do something to make dad mad?"

"Not this week."

"Week ain't over," Buck teased.

"So you gonna take the heat if I make him mad?"

"Depends."

"Depends? On what?"

"How mad you planning to make him?"

"I never plan to Buck, but you know how easy it is to make Chris mad."

Buck threw his head back, laughing harder than he had in the past month. "Can't argue that."

"Buck, are you gonna try to get together with Vin?" JD asked some time later.

Buck looked up, startled by the question. "I'd love to be with Vin, but it ain't gonna happen JD."

"You sure about that?"

"I'm sure, I'll consider myself damned lucky if Vin can bring himself to be my friend again."

"He's still your friend Buck," JD assured him.

"What makes ya say that?"

"He's the one that made me realize what an ass I've been."

"He's a good man," Buck smiled.

JD nodded, he wondered if he should tell Buck what Vin had said.

Buck watched him, noticing the way he kept fidgeting, "What's going on JD?"

"What makes ya think something's going on?"

"Oh not much, just the way you keep fidgeting like a virgin in a whorehouse."

JD blushed, "I ain't either."

"Fidgeting or a virgin?" Buck asked, his face perfectly straight.

JD's blush grew redder, as he continued to fidget.

"Alright JD, what's going on?"

"I don't want to cause any trouble," he hesitantly began. "When I talked to Vin, he said that he was willing to be your friend and that he wasn't ruling anything else out."

"He did? Are you sure that's what he said JD? You didn't misunderstand did ya?"

JD giggled, amused by the transformation in Buck as he suddenly turned into a nervous schoolboy. "That's what he said, want me to pass him a note tomorrow during study hall?" he teased.

"That bad?" Buck blushed.

"Yep," JD confirmed.

"You talked to him JD, do you think he really would give me a chance?" He didn't care how much it made him sound like a kid with his first crush, he had to know.

"Maybe, but you're gonna have to give him time Buck. Move slow," he advised, giggling again.

"What?"

"Nothing, I was just thinking it's funny, me giving you advice about your love life."

"Guess it is funny, but it ain't never meant as much before."

JD was surprised, even though Buck had said he loved Vin, he hadn't realized just how serious he was. In all the time he'd know the older man, he'd never seen him looking so vulnerable as he did right now. His eyes were filled with an equal measure of hope and fear as he considered JD's words. "You really do love him, don't you?"

"I told ya I did," Buck softly replied.

"I know, but I didn't really understand what ya meant until just now."

"JD?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for telling me," he quietly spoke, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "I know it may never happen, but you've given me hope."

JD had to look away, embarrassed, "You're welcome Buck," he whispered.

Later that night, long after JD had left, Buck lay in his bed, his friend's words running through his head. In spite of telling himself that there was no chance, his heart was refusing to listen. Given a bit of hope, it seemed his heart had developed a mind of its own, taking over and filling his mind with pictures of him with Vin, together and happy.

TBC

I know that the scene with Chris, Vin and Mary was gratuitous, but I just couldn't resist when I realized what a perfect set-up I had. Hope y'all enjoyed it. Please feed the muse with reviews.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own the Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Slash

Rating: FRT

Lost

Chapter 11

Vin glared at the man standing in front of him. He couldn't believe the bastard had the nerve to come to him with this. Did he really think Vin would be willing to help?

"Mr. Tanner," Mr. Dodd tried again, "I have heard that you're a fair minded young man."

Vin's eyes narrowed suspiciously on Phillip Spencer's lawyer. "What do ya mean you've heard?"

Mr. Dodd took a step back, instantly realizing he'd made a mistake. However, he hadn't gotten where he was by an inability to read a situation and right now his instincts were telling him that only complete honesty had a chance of working. "I didn't mean any offense Mr. Tanner, but I have done some research into your background. I'm sure you can agree that when approaching somebody you don't know to request help, it's best to know something about the person."

"I reckon," Vin hesitantly agreed. Leaning back in his chair, he crossed his arms over his chest and waited for the man to continue.

"Mr. Tanner, I won't deny that what my client did was wrong, but he's not a well man..."

"That mean he should get away with what he done?" Vin glanced at the clock, silently groaning when he saw there was still thirty minutes left for lunch. Damn, he should've gone with the others to the saloon, but he'd had some paperwork to take care of and he was hoping to get out of the office early today.

Mr. Dodd sighed. If his client's victim hadn't been a federal officer, if the witnesses had been the man's teammates, he would've tried to get his client acquited. That wasn't possible though, not with the evidence and witnesses against him. That left him with only one other option if he was going to keep Philip Spencer out of prison, an insanity defense. "Mr. Tanner, I know what my client did to you and Mr. Wilmington..."

"You mean what he did to Buck," corrects. "He didn't do nothing to me."

"We both know that's not true Mr. Tanner," Dodd stubbornly insisted. "Surely you can see that he's not in his right mind. If you knew my client, knew the type of man he is, you'd know that he would never hurt another human being if he were thinking straight." Thomas Dodd was very good at what he did, had in fact gained sympathy for the devil many times in the past, but it didn't seem to be working this time. What did you expect, he asked himself. "I'm not asking you to let him get away with what he did."

"What are ya asking then?"

"I've requested a sanity hearing, I'd like you to testify. Help me to make sure Philip Spencer gets the help he needs. Hasn't his mother suffered enough Mr. Tanner? She's already lost one son, don't make her lose the other," he plead. He hid the smile that tried to escape at the wounded look in Tanner's eyes. His research had been right, this young man had a real soft spot for mothers. No doubt due to the loss of his own mother at such a young age.

Buck had been thinking about what JD had told him for the past two weeks, couldn't think of hardly anything else. The night JD had revealed Vin's feelings, Buck's dreams had been filled with images of Vin. It seemed as though he'd spent the entire night dreaming of living his life with Vin. Upon waking, Buck had taken the coldest shower of his life. It was that intensely strong reaction to JD's news that convinced him to do his best to show Vin how much he loved him. He didn't make any overt moves, knowing that the younger man didn't need the pressure of Buck's feelings weighing on him. Instead he accepted the renewed chance to be Vin's friend, and took what opportunities arose to express his love, being as subtle as he could.

When the team had went to lunch, he had of course noticed Vin's absence. Making a quick detour, he checked the breakroom fridge, quickly determining that Vin had brought no lunch with him. Smiling fondly, he shook his head and left the office, catching up to the others in a matter of minutes. Knowing Vin, he was sure the sharpshooter would grab something from the vending machine down the hall. With that in mind, Buck ordered a lunch for Vin when he ordered his own. Finishing his own meal in record time, he had grabbed Vin's lunch and headed back to the office before anybody else.

"Who the hell are you?" Buck demanded angrily. The look in Vin's eyes had him wanting to punch this asshole who had obviously said something to upset him.

"He's Spencer's attorney," Vin supplied.

Buck moved to stand next to Vin's desk, glaring at the attorney.

"Thomas Dodd," the middle-aged lawyer introduced himself.

"Mr. Dodd, since when do defense attorney's talk to prosecution witnesses alone?"

"I assure you I meant no harm..."

"Don't look that way to me," Buck scoffed. "What do you want with Vin?"

"I was hoping he'd help me to make sure my client gets the help he needs."

"Help you? How? By changing his testimony? That it, you want him to perjure himself?"

"No sir I don't, but then he already is, isn't he?" Dodd countered.

"I ain't perjured myself," Vin denied, rising to his feet in one fluid movement.

"You're denying what happened in Mr. Wilmington's apartment, with the result that my client won't get a fair trial."

"That isn't perjury Mr. Dodd, as you lawyers would say, it isn't relevant," Buck pointed out.

"Of course it is."

"If the victim doesn't press charges, ya can't bring it up in court so it's not relevant and Vin can't be committing perjury."

Mr. Dodd turned his attention back to the man he'd come here to see, ignoring Wilmington, knowing he wouldn't help. "I can't force you to do the right thing Mr. Tanner, I can only hope that you will consider the unfairness of punishing my client's mother with the loss of her last child."

"You son of a bitch," Buck growled. He had a good idea now of why Vin had been wearing that wounded look when he walked through the door. "Get the hell out of here and if you're real lucky we won't be reporting you to the disciplinary board."

"I'm going, but I'm not giving up," Dodd warned.

Buck watched him go, his blue eyes flashing with anger. Turning to Vin, he grabbed the unnaturally pale man and pushed him into his chair. Hurrying to the breakroom, he returned with a cup of coffee, heavily laced with sugar. Wrapping Vin's hands around the hot cup, he helped him to take a sip, not letting go until he was sure Vin had a good hold. "You okay?" he quietly asked, rocking back on his feet as he squatted next to the chair.

"Are we doing the wrong thing Buck?" Vin asked, his voice nearly inaudible. "Would my ma be ashamed of me?"

"No!" Buck took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. Laying his hand on top of Vin's, he looked him in the eye. "Vin, your ma would so proud of the man you've become."

"But I destroyed that tape, I'm not telling the whole story."

"You were victimized Vin, hurt in a way no man should ever be hurt, there ain't nobody that would blame you for not wanting to relive it in court."

"But if the jury knew the whole story they'd likely say he was insane and send him to a hospital instead of prison."

"You don't know that Vin," Buck gently pointed out.

"Ma would expect me to do what's right."

"Alright, and if I press charges over what happened at the apartment, that means he's facing more prison time."

"If they send him to prison," he pointed out, "after they know the whole story, they might not."

"He knew that what he was doing was wrong Vin, his actions prove that."

"So," Vin sullenly whispered, glancing away.

"Vin, you've been in law enforcement long enough to know that to be judged insane he can't have known that what he did was wrong. If he knew it was wrong, understood the difference between right and wrong, then he's not legally insane."

Vin looked at him again, he hadn't thought of that. Ever since Mr. Dodd had brought up his mother he hadn't been able to get passed the fear that his ma would be ashamed of him. "Thanks Buck, I wasn't thinking."

"I know sweetheart...damn, I'm sorry Vin that just sort of popped out. I didn't mean to say it, I know ya ain't wanting anything like that with me," Buck babbled, pushing himself to his feet and backing away.

Vin rose to his feet, in three steps he stood in front of Buck, looking into his worry filled eyes. "It's okay Buck, I don't mind," he soothed.

Buck swallowed hard, licking his lips nervously. "That mean there's a chance?"

"I don't know, but it doesn't bother me knowing how ya feel," Vin honestly answered. "What are ya doing back so early?"

It took a second for the question to register. "Brought ya some lunch," he pointed towards the desk.

Vin smiled, turning to look, "Thanks Bucklin." Walking back to the desk, he opened the bag, smiling when he saw his favorite lunch, burritos, refried beans and rice. "What, no Dos Equis?" he teased.

"Well I would've but Chris was there," Buck grinned. "I'll buy ya a couple after work," he offered, "would ya settle for a soda now?"

"Sure," Vin agreed, sitting down at his desk.

Buck nodded. Walking to the breakroom, he quickly returned with a soda, setting it on Vin's desk. "Ya got plans for the weekend?"

Vin nodded, "We're having a community picnic at the park tomorrow. Gonna play some baseball, roast some weiners, that kind of thing."

Buck opened his mouth to ask, but Vin beat him to it.

"You're welcome to join us if ya want," he casually offered.

Buck wanted to jump on the offer, hell he felt like whooping for joy. Sure Vin had started hanging out with him again, but always when one or more of the others was there. This was the first time, he'd ever invited him to hang out, just the two of them. Okay, he mentally shrugged, the two of them and Vin's entire neighborhood, but who was counting? "Ya sure?" he had to ask.

That question alone told him he'd made the right decision. "I'm sure," he confirmed. Standing up, he carried his trash into the breakroom. He paused next to Buck, "I don't plan to let him win," he let fall. Not waiting for Buck to respond, he continued into the other room. He heard the others returning to the office, calling out greetings to Buck as they settled back at their desks. He made no move to join them, needing a moment to pull himself together so they wouldn't read anything on his face.

Chris peaked into the breakroom, one look was all he needed. "Vin, my office," he ordered.

Vin looked up, wondering what was up. Shrugging, he followed the blond into his office, shutting the door behind him. "What ya need cowboy?"

"You okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be? Did Buck tell you what happened?"

Damn it, he was gonna kick Buck's ass, Chris silently growled. "I'm sorry Vin, I saw him heading this way. I should've stopped him."

"You saw...I can't believe you let him ambush me like that. Thought we were friends," Vin accused. If Chris hadn't admitted it himself, he would never have believed he would let Dodd waylay him.

Chris flinched at the hurt and anger he heard in Vin's voice. "I am Vin, I thought it'd be okay."

"How in the hell could you think... You know what, nevermind, I don't want to hear it."

"Vin I..."

"Said I don't want to hear it," he cut him off. "I'll be at the firing range if ya need me," Vin growled. Turning on his heel, he slammed out of the office, ignoring the concerned looks he was getting from his teammates.

When Buck saw Vin storm out of Larabee's office, his face set in a mask of stone, he knew it was bad. He just didn't know how bad.

"Wilmington, get your ass in here now!"

He jumped at the unexpected yell. Angry himself, he stormed into the blond's office, "You bellowed?"

"Don't you start with me," Chris snapped. "Shut the damned door."

The door slammed in response, "What the hell is your problem?"

"You," he bit off. "You're my problem."

Buck was even more confused now, what did this have to do with Vin storming out? "Me, what'd I do? And why are ya taking it out on Vin?"

"I ain't taking nothing out on Vin, he's mad cause I didn't stop you."

"Didn't stop me from what?"

"That's what I want to know. I saw you headed this way, knew Vin was here alone and I should've stopped ya. Then I come back and he's in the breakroom, obviously avoiding you."

"That's why you called him in here?"

"Yeah," Chris nodded. "I wanted to apoligize to him for not stopping you. That's when he got mad, said he couldn't believe I let you ambush him like that. Now I want to know what in the hell did you say or do to him?"

"I didn't do anything to him, why would he say I did?"

"Come off it Buck, who else could've ambushed him?"

Understanding hit him like a runaway freight train, leaving him staggering with relief. "Dodd," he quietly answered.

"Who?"

"Dodd, he's Spencer's attorney. I found him talking to Vin when I got here, he was trying to convince him to testify about what happened at the apartment. He's trying to claim Spencer is insane and should be sent to a hospital instead of prison. I think Vin was handling it pretty well until the little bastard brought up his ma, said she'd want him to do the right thing. Got the boy to thinking that his mother would be ashamed of him for not telling the whole story. I think I convinced him that it wouldn't matter cause Spencer knew what he was doing was wrong, legally that makes him sane."

Chris hung his head, "Damn and he thinks I meant Dodd." Raising his head, he looked Buck in the eye, "I'm sorry Buck, I shouldn't have assumed."

Buck shrugged, "I would've assumed the same thing if I was in your shoes. Hell anybody would," Buck quickly absolved. "You going after him?"

"Yeah," he stood up. "Hold down the fort?"

"You got it." Buck sagged the moment the door closed. He really didn't blame Chris, but still it hurt that his oldest friend didn't trust him completely. Collapsing onto the couch, he hung his head. He was so lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice when the door opened and Josiah slid quietly inside.

Josiah looked at the forlorn figure on the couch, shaking his head sadly. Moving to the couch, he sat down next to Buck, laying a large hand on the younger man's back. "Want to talk about it?"

"Chris thought I said or did something to Vin," Buck finally answered after several minutes had passed.

"You didn't?"

"No, I don't blame him for thinking so, but it hurts. I thought out of all of ya Chris understood the best that I didn't have a choice in what happened."

"He does understand that Buck, we all do. Even JD seems to have figured that out," he smiled. "I don't think he was worried about you deliberately hurting brother Vin."

"Then what?"

"He knows how you feel about our sharpshooter, I suspect he was worried that you were pressuring the boy."

"I wouldn't do that," Buck protested.

"I got one word for you," Josiah rumbled, his eyes twinkling, "Inez."

Buck blushed, his own eyes twinkling as he thought of the beautiful owner of the Saloon. "That was different."

"How so? You were in love with her too at one time."

"This is different," Buck corrected.

"I don't understand."

"I was in love with Inez, but I ain't just in love with Vin. I love him, I'm in love with him, I can't stop thinking about him," he confessed, his voice thick with emotion. "God, it goes so much deeper than anything I ever felt before."

"You can see then why Chris was concerned about you putting pressure on Vin. If you didn't feel as deeply for Inez and hounded her the way you did, how much worse will it be with Vin?"

"That's just it Josiah, I won't do that to Vin cause it's too important with him."

Josiah nodded, "Now I understand."

"You think anybody on the team is ever gonna trust me again?"

"We all trust ya Buck, but we know how you can be when you're in love so we worry. I'll explain things to everybody else if ya like, I don't think they'll worry if they understand."

"I'd appreciate that Josiah but maybe ya better not."

"Why is that?"

"Well I got to admit you have a point about how I get. Maybe if they're worried about it one of them will notice if I get carried away and push too hard. Not that I plan to," he hastily added.

Josiah laughed, "That might be a good idea brother Buck. You feeling better now?"

"Yeah, guess we better get back to work."

Chris arrived at the firing range not long after Vin did. He didn't make his presence known right away, instead he just leaned back and watched, waiting.

Vin knew he was there, but he didn't want to talk to him now. No, right now he needed to clear his head. "Why did you do it?" he finally asked.

"I didn't," Chris sighed, bracing himself for the coming explosion and still he flinched.

"What the hell are you playing at Larabee?" Vin snarled. "Ya told me you saw him, that ya didn't stop him, now you're denying it?"

"It was a misunderstanding Vin."

"A misunderstanding? You let Dodd ambush me and ya call it a misunderstanding," Vin shook his head. "Thought we were friends."

"We are Vin, damn," he cursed as Vin bolted. Pushing himself off the wall, he ran after him, grabbing his arm. "I didn't know Dodd was coming to see you."

"Then why did ya say..."

"I thought Buck had said something to upset ya. I knew he was coming back to the office early and when I saw you in the breakroom I thought ya was avoiding him. Figured he said something to ya," he shrugged.

Vin quickly replayed their conversation in his mind. "Guess I can see how the misunderstanding happened."

"So I'm forgiven?"

"Nothing to forgive."

Chris nodded, "You want to come out to the ranch tomorrow? We could go for a ride up to the lake," he tempted.

"Thanks cowboy, but I got plans already. Could come out early on Sunday if ya want."

"Sure, we'll go for a ride before the game. You coming back to the office now?"

"Yeah, soon as I clean my gun. I still got some paperwork to take care of, want to get out of here early."

"Hot date?" Chris teased.

Vin chuckled, "Yep, with Mrs. Rosario's oven," he winked. "Thermostat went out on it, I told her I'd put a new one in for her. Need to leave early so I can get to the hardware store before they close," he explained.

"I'll tell Ezra to help you with the paperwork so ya can make it."

"Thanks Chris, see ya in a bit."

At four o'clock Vin, with Ezra's help, finished his paperwork. Gathering it up, he carried it to Chris' office, depositing it in his in box. "See ya Sunday cowboy."

"Bye Vin, be careful."

Vin raised an eyebrow, "It's just a thermostat Chris."

"I know, but I have faith in you," he teased of Vin's penchant for finding trouble in the oddest places.

"Ha, ha, you're a regular comedian ain't ya?"

Chris grinned, "Don't you have a hardware store to visit?"

"Yeah I do, bye." Walking back into the bullpen, Vin grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair. Stopping at Buck's desk, he leaned down. "See ya at the saloon about six?"

"I'll be there."

"Alright, and Buck, if I'm not there I'm just running late is all," he assured before making his exit.

Buck watched him going, a grin spreading over his face.

"Something going on you wish to share Mr. Wilmington."

"Huh? No, nothing," Buck denied as a blush grew.

"Of course not," Ezra agreed. "Gentlemen?" he glanced around the room as he drew out his betting book.

"Put me down for ten dollars and four weeks," JD called.

"I believe you're wrong JD," Josiah opined.

"What shall I put you down for Mr. Sanchez?"

"Ten dollars and three weeks."

"This is wrong," Nathan shot. 

"Of course it is Mr. Jackson and your wager is?"

Nathan sighed, what the hell, "Ten dollars and six weeks."

"Now y'all just hold on a minute," Buck roared. "You can't be making bets on me and Vin." 

Ezra stared at him, "Why ever not Mr. Wilmington?"

"Because..."

"Yes?"

"It ain't right," he lamely replied.

"You only say that because you can't place a wager on this outcome."

"What are we betting on?" Chris asked as he joined them.

"How long it'll take Buck to get Vin to go out with him on a date."

"Oh, that. What are the wagers so far?"

Ezra outlined the bets the others had placed.

"What are you betting Ezra?"

"I believe I shall take 20 dollars and five weeks," he replied after a moments thought.

"Put me down for 20 and four weeks, two days. Buck?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't let me down, you know how I hate to lose money," Chris teased.

Buck grinned, "Yes sir."

"Alright, everybody back to work," Chris ordered, before disappearing back into his office.

Buck bowed his head, the grin still covering his face. He understood that the bets were their way of letting him know that he had their support, the knowledge left him feeling peace in his heart.

TBC

Hope y'all liked it. Dos Equis is a brand of Mexican beer. Please feed the muse with reviews.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own the Magnificent Seven, not making any money just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Slash

Rating: FRT

Lost

Chapter 12

Buck sat at the bar, nevously swirling the beer in his mug and glancing at the door each time it opened. Looking over at the empty table the team usually claimed on Friday nights, a bemused smile crossed his face. He wondered again if the guys had heard Vin as he left the office. Oh well, he certainly had no objections to being alone with the younger man. If he ever got here, he sighed, glancing at his watch and noting the time was now six-thirty. Damn, now what? Had Vin changed his mind? No, if he had he would've called, that much Buck was sure of. Maybe he'd had an accident? Galvinized by that thought, Buck reached for his phone at the same moment he pushed to his feet.

Vin chanced a look at his watch as he neared the door of the saloon. Reaching for the door, he took a step back in surpise as it came open before his hand could make contact with it. "Get tired of waiting?"

Buck nearly dropped his phone, the unexpected rasp catching him completely off-guard. "Where have you been?" he snapped.

Vin glared, "I don't answer to you Bucklin, told ya I might be late."

Buck sighed, scrubbing a hand through his thick brown hair, instantly contrite. "Sorry, didn't mean to snap."

"Something going on I should know about?"

He shrugged, "Guess I was getting a little worried."

"Worried?" Vin questioned, confused by the admission. "What's there to be worried about?"

"You're kidding me," Buck snorted. "Hell Vin you could have an accident driving to work, in fact you have had one or two. Add to that you're always on time and then you wonder why I'd be worried."

Vin knew he'd had more injuries than most of the others, but that didn't mean he couldn't take care of himself. It was bad enough he had Nathan and Chris playing mother hen every time he turned around, he didn't need Buck starting up too. "Ya make it sound like I can't leave my apartment without getting hurt," Vin complained.

"Like you need to leave the apartment to get hurt," Buck scoffed.

"Ha, ha," Vin growled. "You gonna buy me them beers you promised or not?"

Buck grinned, "Sure, let's go on in. Everybody had things to do," he began as they walked in the bar, "so do you want to sit at the bar or at the table?"

"Let's grab a booth, no point in taking up our regular table if it's just us," Vin pointed out.

"Sounds good to me," Buck quickly agreed. "I'll get the beers, you grab a booth. Dos Equis, right?"

"Yep," Vin confirmed before sauntering off through the crowd.

Buck grinned, unconsciously licking his lips as he watched Vin moving away from him. "Damn," he whispered in admiration. Soon he was sliding into the booth, opposite of his friend and handing him a beer. "So why were ya late?" he casually asked.

"I don't want to talk about it," Vin firmly refused, keeping his eyes glued firmly on his beer.

Buck straightened up, instantly concerned, "Vin?"

"It ain't no big deal Buck," he insisted. "Want to shoot some pool?"

Buck knew exactly what Vin was doing, "Maybe later, after you answer my question."

Vin glared, "You ain't gonna let it go are ya?"

Buck grinned, "Nope."

A heavy sigh met him, along with a slight shifting of the younger man's weight in the seat, followed by a small grimace. "I promised Mrs. Rosario I'd fix her oven, she needed a new thermostat. So I got the old one off, stubborn piece of shit didn't want to let go either." Absently Vin rubbed at knuckles that had come in contact with various parts of the old oven. "Finally got the damned thing off and headed for the hardware store for a new one." Grimacing, he took a long pull on his beer before continuing. "So I get to the hardware store and they couldn't find the one I needed."

"They were out of stock?" Buck asked sympathetically.

"No, they had it, just couldn't find it. Some idjit had put it in the wrong spot, and of course it was the only one left. Well I had to have that part, couldn't let Mrs. Rosario down."

"She's the one always baking you cookies?"

Vin nodded, catching the twinkle in Buck's eyes, he glared at him. "That ain't the reason I couldn't let her down," he vowed. "I promised her is all."

"So what'd ya do?"

"Only thing I could do," Vin sighed, "started looking for it. We finally found it, up on the highest damned shelf they got. Guess the idjit thought it'd be a funny trick to hide it so far up. I suppose I could've waited for the clerk, but I was irritated, knew Mrs. Rosario would be wanting the oven so she could cook supper and you'd be waiting..."

"And?" Buck encouraged.

Vin shrugged, "I was in the Rangers, been a bounty hunter, work as a sniper, hell heights don't bother me none. I looked around, didn't see no ladder. Then I looked them shelves up and down, figured I could handle it, so I started climbing."

Buck sputtered, spewing beer over the surface of the table. "Damn Vin you could've got yourself hurt bad pulling a stunt like that!"

Vin cringed, dreading the next part of the story. "Figured that out, about the time the shelves started falling over with me hanging from them," he quietly admitted.

"What! Are you okay? Damn it Vin you shouldn't be sitting here having a beer, ya should be at the hospital. Come on," Buck ordered standing up and reaching for the younger man.

"Sit the hell down Buck," Vin ordered, pushing himself into the corner of the booth. "I ain't hurt bad." 

"But ya are hurt?" Buck demanded.

"I ain't answering that until ya sit down."

"Fine," Buck growled, sliding back into his seat.

"I seen what was gonna happen and managed to swing myself free of the shelves as they fell. All I got was a couple of bruises when I tumbled into the wall. Hell Buck, hurt my pride more than anything," he assured him.

"You're sure ya didn't get more than a couple of bruises?"

"I'm sure. I did get the oven fixed though and Mrs. Rosario was cooking up a storm when I left."

Buck chuckled, "You got a real talent, ya know that Vin?" 

"What are you talking about?"

"Only you could get into trouble in a hardware store," Buck laughed. "I'm just glad ya didn't get hurt bad," he added, sobering instantly.

"Me too, I'd hate to miss the picnic tomorrow."

"What time does it start?"

"We'll start setting up about nine, but it doesn't officially start until about eleven. It won't end until sometime in the evening. Got a permit to have a small bonfire for the kids to roast marshmallows. Of course even with that, it's a little chilly to be out there too long after dark, so I imagine it'll end by eight or nine."

"Want some help setting up?"

"If ya want, but you don't have to."

"I want to," Buck softly responded. "Should I bring anything?"

Vin thought about that for a few minutes, with a small smile he made his request. "Could you bring some of your guacamole?"

Buck grinned, "I should've known."

"Ah hell Bucklin, ya know I've never been able to resist your gucamole. Besides it's the one thing I know you can make without poisoning folks," he teased.

"Y'all won't ever let me live that down, will you?" Buck good-naturedly complained.

"Hey you're the one who said you knew your mushrooms. I think your exact words were; I've been hunting shrooms for years, I know what I'm doing."

"It was an easy mistake to make, could've happened to anybody," he sulked.

"Suppose," Vin conceded, "but your easy mistake put you in the hospital overnight. I tell ya Buck I've been sick before, but I've never been sick enough to tear a hole in my stomach lining. I sure didn't envy you that experience."

"Ya sure didn't miss anything, but don't worry I won't put any shrooms in the guacamole," he joked.

"Good, folks will appreciate that."

"Want another beer?"

"Sounds good," he nodded. "Want to shoot some pool?"

"Yeah, you rack 'em while I get the beers."

"You got it," Vin grinned as he slid out of the booth.

Buck woke the next morning, a smile on his face as he remembered the relaxed, fun evening he'd spent with Vin. He had been sure that what Spencer had forced that night in his apartment would destroy his friendship with the younger man. Hell, he'd figured it'd cost him everything. If anybody had told him that almost two months later he and Vin would be able to hang out again, he would've suggested they get professional help. If they had told him there was an actual chance of a relationship that went beyond friendship developing, he would've driven them to the state hospital himself. Here he was though, getting ready to spend the day with Vin, after having spent the previous evening with him at the Saloon, and he couldn't be happier. He knew that this was just the beginning, that he would have to take things slow, but at least there was a chance. Something he hadn't dared to even hope for and he wasn't about to waste it.

Vin stepped out of his apartment, a bag of charcoal and a bottle of lighter fluid in his hands. "Buenas Dias Senora," he greeted Mrs. Rosario as she peeked out her door.

"I was hoping it was you I heard mi hijo," she smiled.

"There a problem?"

"No, no, I have something for you."

"Could I get it later?"

"Come inside Vincente," she ordered, holding the door wide.

Vin smiled, he hadn't expected her to let him get away with that. "Yes ma'am."

"You were out late last night?"

"You waiting up for me again?" he scowled, though truthfully he was touched by the concern.

"Of course, and don't scowl it makes you look like a punk," she scolded. "Did you eat any supper?"

"Yes ma'am," he replied. It had really only been pickled eggs and popcorn at the bar, but he didn't think she needed to know that.

She eyed him suspiciously, she hadn't raised two boys for nothing, "A full meal?"

Vin ducked his head, "No ma'am."

"This is what I thought and you probably had no breakfast either, did you?" She nodded grimly when he confirmed with a shake of his head. It was as she had thought, "Yet you intend to do a full morning's work on an empty stomach. It es no bueno I will not have this. No mas," she ordered. Pressing a small lunch pail into his hand, she fondly patted his cheek, "You take these, eat them before you do any work."

"Yes ma'am, thank you."

"Will any of your friends be there today?"

"Buck will."

"None of the others? I'm surprised, you usually spend weekends with them, don't you?"

"Not all weekend," he protested, thinking it made him sound as if he was dependent on his friends.

"It isn't a bad thing mi hijo. Could none of them spare the time?"

Vin blushed, "I only invited Buck."

"I see," she slowly acknowledged. "Well I should let you go, I know you have many things to take care of, as do I." Practically pushing him towards the door, she shooed him out, her mind already on the picnic. She knew Vincente wouldn't like it if he knew her plans, but somebody had to look out for the boy. His friends did a good job with it, at least where his work and play time were concerned. This however wasn't work or play, it was far more serious than that and needed a woman's watchful eye. She would watch carefully while at the picnic, she would see how deep this man's feeling ran for her hijo. She decided that she would determine her next step once she had this information.

Vin looked back at the apartment door. He felt dazed, he didn't think Mrs. Rosario had ever ran him off and he wondered if he'd said something wrong. Stop being paranoid Tanner, he scolded himself, she probably just realized that y'all both got a lot to do before the picnic. He glanced at the elevator and decided he wouldn't trust it today. Four flights of stairs later, he was stepping outside into the bright sunshine. Loading the jeep, he hopped in and headed for the store to grab some sodas, and ice. He hoped that Mr. Lopez would have the washtubs at the park by the time he arrived.

It didn't take long for Vin to get what he needed, soon arriving at the park. He smiled when he saw several steel washtubs waiting for the ice and sodas he'd brought with him. Quickly he and Mr. Lopez filled the tubs, covering them with large towels to keep the sun off them until the start of the picnic. By the time they finished, others in the neighborhood were arriving to help with the setup. Some set out the things they would need, condiments, plates, cups, each family contributing what they could. Others off-loaded the brush one resident had gathered for the bonfire. Following Vin's instruction, they arranged it carefully in the area set aside for it. While all of this was going on, Vin sat at a table, sharpening a stack of green sticks for roasting marshmallows.

"What ya doing pard?" Buck asked, setting his gucamole on the table behind Vin.

"Sharpening sticks," Vin smirked.

"Dumb question?"

"Just a little," Vin teased.

"Need some help?"

"Sure, have a seat." As he spoke, Vin moved down the bench, giving Buck room and putting the unfinished sticks between them. "Ya didn't put any mushrooms in the gucamole did ya?"

Buck heaved a put upon sigh, "No Vin I didn't. I'm saving those for the spaghetti sauce I'm bringing to Chris' tomorrow," he teased.

"Remind me not to eat any spaghetti sauce."

Buck laughed, "Don't worry, I bought them."

"Ya know I'm gonna have to make ya pay for that."

"Thanks for the warning."

From a distance Mrs. Rosario watched the two men, smiling at the comfortable way they spoke to each other. Throughout the day she was never far from them, always watching and often smiling. She liked the way Buck gave Vin his space, yet always seeming to be near. It was obvious, to any who cared to look closely, that he was very much in love with the younger man. It wasn't as easy to be sure of Vin's feelings. He was certainly enjoying spending time with Buck, at times casting his eyes over the park to see where he was. However, there was a certain wariness in his manner as well. The longer she watched them both, the more convinced she was that there was a very good chance they would end up together.

The day was coming to a close, soon they would be lighting the bonfire and passing out marshmallows. As the adults began to gather the leftovers together, Mrs. Rosario saw her opportunity. "Senor Wilmington," she greeted, slipping her hand around his elbow. "Walk with me," she invited.

Buck smiled, patting her hand, allowing her to lead him away from the group. "What can I do for you senora?"

"Perhaps I just wish some company."

"I can do that," he smiled.

"I didn't always live here, in Purgatorio," she casually offered.

"No?"

"No," she confirmed. "I grew up in the country, my father worked on a cattle ranch. He was a vaquero, my mother cooked for the owner. It is how they met, it was a wonderful place to grow up."

Buck smiled, "I bet it was."

"When I was little I used to watch the men working with the cattle. I was permitted to help them when I was older."

Buck gave her a surprised look, "That's unusual isn't it?"

"Si, but my papa was an unusual man. When he passed away I was given the task of sorting through his things. Some went to other members of the family, some to charity and a few I kept. One of the things I kept was a set of tools used for castrating bulls. Have you ever castrated a bull senor?"

Buck swallowed, like most men he was uncomfortable with the topic, "No ma'am."

"It is really a simple process. You take a castration knife and place it below the testicles. You then close the knife and cut the bag from side to side. After that you can use a castrating tool to finish the job," she matter-of-factly explained.

"That's, um, interesting," Buck politely commented, even as his balls drew up and his stomach roiled.

"I helped with this job many times." Stopping in her tracks, she tugged on his arm until he stood facing her. "I see the way you are with Vincente, I know you feel deeply for him. I also notice that you are giving him the time and space he needs, this is good. He didn't tell me details, but I know you hurt him and that you were forced to do so."

"Yes ma'am I was, ain't no other way I could ever hurt Vin."

"This is good," she patted his hand. "Still, I must tell you, my honor demands that you be given fair warning."

"Warning?" Buck whispered.

"Si," she replied. "If you ever hurt my Vincente...I will give you a personal demonstration of the process I have described. Comprende?"

Buck swallowed, his balls already shrunk after her story, were now actively trying to hide. "Yes ma'am."

"Bueno," she smiled. "Perhaps we should return to the picnic," she suggested.

Buck nodded, letting her lead him back to the others. As quickly as he could, he excused himself from her side, seeking out Vin. Seeing him sitting on a bench, loading sticks with marshmallows for the kids, he joined him.

"Where'd ya disappear to?" Vin asked, casting him a sideways glance.

"Went for a walk?"

"Ya okay Bucklin? You're not looking too good."

"I'm fine, just..."

Vin raised an eyebrow, tilting his head to glance at him, "Just?"

"You ever had a daddy give you a talk before ya take his daughter out?"

"No, but I've heard about it."

"I have," Buck said. "Dated this one girl in high school, her daddy was an ex-Marine. I tell ya Vin, that man was downright scary. Took me out, told me what he expected and made it clear if I didn't treat his little girl right, I'd regret it."

"Yeah?" Vin wondered where he was going with this.

"Yeah, and he couldn't hold a candle to Mrs. Rosario."

Vin choked back a laugh, "Warned ya off?"

"Oh no, she's all for me and you getting together, if ya want it," he quickly added. "She just made sure I knew what would happen if I ever hurt ya," Buck explained, his face unnaturally pale as he remembered her words.

"Damn Buck, what'd she say to ya?"

"Did you know she knows how to castrate a bull?"

"No I didn't...that's what she threatened ya with?" Vin asked in a whisper, his own balls shrinking in reaction.

Buck nodded, "Said she'd give me a personal demonstration."

"Aww Buck, you know she wouldn't really do that," Vin soothed.

"I don't know about that Vin, I think she meant it."

Vin grinned, "Guess ya better make sure ya behave then," he teased.

Buck scowled, "You're enjoying this ain't ya?"

"Well, have to admit it feels kind of nice."

"She threatened me with...and you think it's nice?" Buck asked, his voice tight.

"No, but it's nice to know she cares enough to make the effort," Vin quietly explained.

Buck suddenly felt about an inch high, sometimes he forgot how little caring Vin had experienced in his life. But, she had threatened his manhood, ya just don't do that, he silently whined. "Well, as long as you don't approve of the threat I guess I can forgive ya."

"Thanks." Grinning mischievously, he glanced at Buck. "Maybe I should have her talk to Chris next time he threatens to shoot me." Vin's face fell as Buck just stared at him, damn, maybe Buck wasn't ready for joking about it.

Suddenly Buck threw his head back, roaring with laughter. "Can't ya just imagine the look on his face?"

"He'd have a cow," Vin joked.

Buck groaned, "That was awful Vin, you've been hanging around JD too long."

"How do you like living in the country?" Vin asked, changing the subject.

Buck blinked at the sudden change of subject, "I like it a lot. It's peaceful, quiet," he softly spoke.

Vin nodded, "Big difference from the city."

"Sure is, you're welcome to come out anytime ya like," Buck almost shyly offered.

"I might do that sometime, I'd like to see the place."

"You do that," Buck smiled. "I had a real nice time Vin, thanks for inviting me."

"I did too, I'm glad you came," Vin answered with a soft smile.

"I think I better go now though," he continued, suddenly finding it hard to resist the urge to kiss Vin. "See ya tomorrow at the ranch?"

"I'll be there, see ya," Vin smiled.

TBC

Hope y'all like it. Please feed the muse with reviews.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own the Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, tissue warning

Rating: FRT

Lost

Chapter 13

In spite of a restless night and very little sleep, Vin was up early. While his coffee was making on the stove, he was in the bathroom, showering and shaving as he got ready for the day. By the time he was dressed, his coffee was ready and gratefully he poured himself a cup of the strong brew. "Whooo," he exclaimed as the hot liquid made its way down his throat, the caffeine providing a much needed jolt to his system. Popping the plate of leftovers, that Mrs. Rosario had handed him the day before, in the microwave, he sat down to make a list for the store. Washing breakfast down with a second cup of coffee, he poured the rest into a thermos and headed out the door.

Chris looked up from his breakfast as the sound of wheels on gravel reached him. Glancing at the clock, he was a little suprised to see it was already eight.

"Hey cowboy," Vin greeted as he stepped into the kitchen, a bag in one hand and a thermos in the other. "You're still eating?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yeah I'm still eating," Chris playfully growled. "We don't all get up before the chickens Tanner," he mumbled.

"Ya'd get a lot more done," Vin retorted, "early bird gets the worm ya know."

"I get plenty done. What ya got in the bag?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Buck said something about bringing spaghetti, thought I'd make some of my garlic bread to go with it."

Chris shot his friend a curious look, "When did you talk to Buck?"

"Yesterday," Vin absently replied as he set out the ingredients for his bread. "Brought some bread flour, didn't figure you had any," he commented as he worked.

"Wait a minute, you're making bread from scratch?"

"Always do," came the matter-of-fact answer.

"I never knew that, always thought you bought it at a bakery. Where'd you learn to make bread?"

"My Grandpa taught me, started with Indian fry bread and then he taught me how to make other kinds." Vin smiled softly as he thought back to those days with his grandfather, the last happy days he'd experienced until meeting the guys. "First thing I did when I got out of the army and got my own place, was bake loaves of bread for all the neighbors."

Chris chuckled, "Isn't that supposed to be the other way around?"

Vin grinned, "Guess so, but Grandpa always said that when ya move into a new place you should fill it with the smells of home and that's what bread is for me. Once I started, didn't want to stop, so I just decided I'd make enough for the building. Figured it was a good way to introduce myself to everybody."

"Cinnamon," Chris softly spoke, a small smile playing over his lips. Spotting Vin's quizzical look, he continued, "Mom used to make cinnamon rolls every Sunday morning and apple pie, smelling of cinnamon and nutmeg for dessert Sunday night. Never told anybody but Sarah, but cinnamon is the smell that makes me think of home."

"Sounds real nice," Vin smiled. "So you about ready to go riding, or we got chores to take care of?"

Chris mock scowled, tossing a kitchen towel at the younger man. "I did the chores, just waiting on you."

"Well lets get going then," he grinned, picking up his thermos and heading for the barn. It didn't take long to get the horses saddled and soon they were picking their way along the trail, men and beasts both enjoying the early morning excursion.

As they rode, Chris watched Vin carefully. He hadn't missed the tired look in his eyes and even a stop at the store shouldn't have left him pulling up at eight o'clock. "Everything okay Vin?" he finally asked.

"Sure, why wouldn't it be?" Vin asked, recapping the thermos for the third time that morning.

"You tell me."

"Don't know what you're talking about cowboy."

"Okay, how about you coming out at eight for an early morning ride. Usually you say early morning ride and I figure on seeing you while I'm still taking care of chores. Add to that the way you been swilling coffee all day and the tired look in your eyes, I'd say something's up."

Vin sighed, damned cowboy didn't miss a thing. "Guess I didn't sleep much last night," he reluctantly admitted.

"Nightmares?" Chris guessed.

"No, not exactly."

Chris narrowed his eyes, "What do ya mean not exactly? Either you had nightmares, or you didn't."

"Had dreams," Vin softly began, "kind of disturbing, but not nightmares exactly."

"You said you talked to Buck yesterday, that have something to do with your dreams?"

"Don't know, guess it might've."

Chris scowled, "He pushing you?"

"What?" Vin glanced at Chris, startled by the question. "No," he quickly denied.

"So what did he say to you that gave you disturbing dreams?"

"Nothing, don't look at me like that Chris. We had a good time, real relaxed, like it used to be."

Chris' eyebrows went up at that, "Had a good time where?"

"Neighborhood picnic," Vin quietly answered.

"You invite him, or he just show up?"

"What the hell? I ain't a suspect Larabee, stop with the interrogation," Vin growled.

Chris sighed, "I didn't mean it like that Vin, you know that."

"Yeah, reckon I do," Vin conceded.

"I just don't want Buck pushing you into something you're not ready for," Chris explained.

Vin nodded, "I know, but he's not and for the record, I did invite him."

"You think maybe you pushed yourself?"

"No, don't think so."

"Want to talk about these dreams?"

"Nothing to talk about," Vin replied with a shrug.

"If you change your mind..."

"Ain't that Chris," he interrupted. "I can't really remember them, just know that when I woke up I felt weird, but I ain't real sure why."

"That's what you meant by disturbing?"

"Yep, so now that you're done analyzing me can we move on to something else Dr. Phil?"

"Dr. Phil!" Chris' indignant cry echoed over through the trees as he took off in pursuit of the suddenly fleeing Texan.

Almost as if by consensus the others arrived at the ranch en masse, the sounds of their motors nearly deafening in the previously quiet surroundings. Calling out greetings, they all tromped inside the sprawling ranch house. After leaving chips and salad in the kitchen, J.D. and Nathan quickly stepped to the other side of the island that seperated the dining nook. Ezra soon joined them, after depositing the gourmet cheesecake, that was his offering, in the fridge.

"Mr. Tanner, do my eyes deceive me or are you attempting to make bread?"

"Ain't attempting Ez," Vin winked, "I am making bread. Where'd y'all think the bread I usually bring comes from?"

"Um, a bakery?" J.D. answered for them all.

"Been making my own bread since I got out of the army."

"You do a real good job too son," Josiah rumbled as he turned from plugging in his crockpot full of chili.

"Thanks Josiah."

"Where'd ya learn?" Buck asked curiously, as he chopped up garlic to add to his spaghetti sauce.

"Grandpa taught me," Vin smiled. "I love the smell of bread baking, smells like home," he softly added.

"Yeah?" Buck quietly mumbled. "For me it's popcorn."

"Popcorn," J.D. chuckled. "What?" he asked, rubbing his head as he glanced at Ezra.

"Why's that Bucklin?" Vin asked, frowning at J.D..

"My mom never had time to do much cooking," he began his explanation. "Oh she'd cook up a storm when she had the chance, but usually she was just too busy. Only thing she couldn't do in a kitchen was bake, not even sugar cookies." He chuckled as the memories of his mother's attempts at baking returned, "She tried, wanted me to have as close to a normal childhood as she could give me."

"Sounds like she was a good mom," Vin commented.

"She was a saint," Buck repeated his oft declared praise. "I was just a kid, didn't know at first why she kept trying to bake cookies, even though she kept burning them. Then one day Billy Jensen, he lived in the same building, started teasing me. Saying she wasn't a real mom cause she couldn't bake, that she probably stole me from some hospital. I didn't know it, but my mom was coming to get me and she heard everything he said. She didn't say anything, but I could see the hurt in her eyes, so while we were walking I told her I didn't like cookies anyway and I'd rather have popcorn. That's when she started fixing popcorn for me after school, she'd have it waiting when I came home. We'd sit at the table, drink chocolate milk, eat popcorn and just talk," as he finished speaking, Buck wiped a stray tear from his eye.

"That's a real nice story Buck," Josiah rumbled, ending the hushed silence that had fallen over the men.

"What makes you think of home Josiah?" J.D. asked in an effort to make up for his earlier behavior.

"Rosemary," Josiah replied with a smile.

"I said what, not who?"

"Ah the ignorance of youth," Josiah grinned. "Rosemay is an herb J.D., a very old herb, it goes all the way back to biblical times. Traditionally it stands for constancy, perhaps that's why my mother used it in so much of her cooking. She always kept a small plant on the kitchen window sill, no matter where my father's missionary work took us. Even when she wasn't cooking, you could smell the rosemary in the kitchen. It was the one thing, aside from my mother and Hannah, that I could always depend on being there. Then God took my mother from us and Hannah became ill, but the rosemary my mother loved is still available to me. So J.D.," Josiah smiled, "what smell says home to you?"

"Boiled cabbage," J.D. quickly supplied. He grinned at the various looks of distaste on the faces of his friends, "I know, it doesn't really smell appetizing, but it's a traditional Irish dish and it taste pretty good. Besides, my mother was only one generation removed from Ireland, she sometimes even spoke with a slight brogue, especially when she was angry. Anyway, she thought it was important that we keep the traditions alive, so every Sunday she would make boiled cabbage as part of our dinner."

"You know how to make it?" Buck asked.

"No, I wish I could. Mama never taught me though, and by the time I thought to ask she was too sick," J.D. regretfully replied.

"What about you Ezra?" Vin asked, sensing that J.D. could use the distraction and sure that Ezra would have a good story.

"Lemon Verbena," Ezra smiled softly.

"Isn't that a flower?" Nathan asked.

"Yes it is, but it also makes the most wonderful cookies you will ever taste."

"Flowers in a cookie? I never heard of that," J.D. questioned the southerner.

"I'm sure you haven't Mr. Dunne, not many have. Even in the south, where it is quite common to use such things in baking, it is becoming unusual. As you all know, my mother was," he paused as he searched for the right word, "unconventional when it came to parenting. Many of the places I stayed as a child were no more home to me than a hotel room is. However there were a few that were the very definition of what a home should be. One such place, was the home of my Aunt Katie. In fact, she always told me that no matter where life might take me I would always have a home with her. I have returned many times over the years to visit her, and each time, just as when I was a child, I am met at the door by the smell of her lemon verbena cookies."

"You know how to make 'em?" Vin asked as he set aside the bread to rise.

"Indeed I do," Ezra answered, a soft smile on his face.

"Well Nathan, that leaves you and Chris, which one of ya want to go first," Buck grinned.

"I already told Vin, guess I might as well tell you too," Chris spoke up. "Cinnamon, I don't have a real touching story to go with it though. Had a pretty normal childhood I guess, and every Sunday morning my mom would make cinnamon rolls. I'd wake up every week to that smell and every Sunday evening, she'd make apple pie for dessert with plenty of cinnamon and nutmeg. When I first moved away from home, I was pretty homesick, but I never said anything to my folks. Larabee men are supposed to be tough, didn't want them thinking I was some baby that couldn't handle being on my own. I told Sarah this story, told her I didn't know how mom knew but she did. Sarah said it's a mom thing, guess maybe she was right, she always knew when Adam needed her." As he spoke of his wife and son, his eyes had taken on a far away look, watching something only he could see. Giving himself a mental shake, he continued, "Anyway, mom started sending me cinnamon rolls every week. They always arrived on Saturday and I'd heat them up on Sunday morning, just like home."

"Damn cowboy," Vin whispered, wiping his eye, "we got to get you a dictionary."

"A dictionary?" Chris asked, looking at him in confusion.

"Yeah, so you can look up definitions Mr. I ain't got a touching story." Vin explained, bringing a chuckle from the others.

Chris shrugged, "Guess I was wrong. Alright Nathan, your turn."

Nathan swallowed, as always a bit uncomfortable when talking about his mother. His memories of her were so few, he tended to guard them jealously. Just as he was about to refuse, the smell of Josiah's chili wafted through the room, followed closely by the smell of lilacs, as though his mother were sending him a message. "Chili and lilacs," he smiled, the memories flashing across the pages of his mind.

"That's an unusual combination brother," Josiah commented.

"Lilacs were Mama's favorite flower, she had this bush right by the front porch. She babied that thing like it was one of us kids, and when it wasn't in bloom she wore lilac perfume."

"What about the chili?" J.D. asked.

"She made the most wonderful chili in the world, closest I've ever gotten to it is Josiah's." Glancing around at the surprised faces, he couldn't resist teasing them a bit, "Y'all didn't think I was eating it for my health did ya?"

"Guess we didn't Nate," Vin replied. "Did kind of wonder about it, since you're always on us about eating right."

"Nothing wrong with a little indulgence Vin, but you all act like eating healthy is the indulgence when it ought to be the other way around," Nathan couldn't resist the admonishment. "We lost Mama when I was seven, I didn't know until then that she was home. It wasn't ever the same after that. The day of the service, Daddy dug that lilac bush up and burned it, was like losing her all over again. I resented him for years over that, it wasn't until I was older that I realized why he done it and forgave him. We never had chili again either, wasn't anybody could make it like Mama, now whenever I smell Josiah's chili or lilacs I think of her and home."

"That was beautiful brother," Josiah spoke, his voice thick with emotion.

"Gentlemen, for shame," Ezra drawled, "when did we turn into a group of weeping women? I believe we came out here to watch a game, now who would like to lay a wager on the outcome?" he asked as he led the way into the living room, breking the awkward moment.

"Give me ten on the Cowboys," Vin called out.

"Put me down for twenty on the Steelers, Buck countered.

"How can you support the Steelers Bucklin? They ain't had a decent team since the 80's," Vin teased.

"Look whose talking, the cowboys haven't had a winning team in years."

"Maybe not, but a man's got to be loyal to his home state don't he?" Vin defended.

As the seven settled in to watch the game, similar conversations were taking place around the room. Vin leaned back in his seat, a cold beer in his hand, ready to enjoy the day with his friends. As he watched the game, his mind wandered over the stories his friends had shared and a thought came to him. Mulling it over, he became so lost in thought that he jumped when the timer for his bread sounded. Pushing himself to his feet, he wandered to the kitchen to punch the bread down and let it rise again. "Hey Bucklin, how's the spaghetti sauce coming?" he asked, surprised that he hadn't noticed the large man's absence from the other room.

"It's coming along real good, how's the bread?"

"Needs to rise again, then one more time after that and it'll be ready to bake." Vin pushed the bowl of dough to the side and leaned against the counter.

"Something going on Vin?" Buck asked, noticing the younger man's stance.

"Got an idea, figured I should run it by you first."

"Shoot," Buck encouraged, putting the lid on his sauce and turning his full attention on Vin.

"You now them stories we were all telling?"

"Yeah, what about them?"

"Well I was thinking, your house ain't really a home yet, is it?"

"No, I don't guess it is," Buck admitted.

"What do you think of a house-warming? All the guys could bring that one dish that makes them think of home, whether they make it or buy it, kind of make your place smell like a home instead of just a house."

Buck smiled, touched that Vin would want to do this for him. "I like it, let's do it. Next week?"

"Can't next week, Chris has that conference to go to in Colorado Springs, remember?"

"Damn, that's right," Buck sighed. "When then?"

Vin thought about it for a minute, silently going over the schedule for the next few weeks in his head. "How about in three weeks? That way Nathan will have a chance to get Josiah to teach him how to make chili if he wants to."

"Alright, three weeks it is," Buck grinned. "Let's go see what the guys think," grabbing Vin's arm and hurrying him to the living room.

Vin grinned, nearly laughing aloud as Buck reacted like a kid who had just been told that Christmas was coming early this year. As they neared the living room, he pulled loose from Buck's grasp, moving back to his seat, he let Buck make the invitation.

Quickly, Buck outlined Vin's idea, grinning when the others agreed without hesitation. Although the team had forgiven him, some taking longer than others, this was the first time since that night that he truly felt like he had his family back.

TBC

Hope y'all liked it. If it's any consolation, I shed a few tears myself as I wrote this. Please feed the muse with reviews.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own the Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Slash, Violence

Rating: FRT

Lost

Chapter 14

Buck smiled, taking in the still lingering smells that permeated his home. Home, now that had a real good sound to it. It had been a great day, Nathan had arrived first a crock pot and the makings for chili in his hands. Right on his heels had been Vin, carrying everything he would need to make some of the best bread Buck had ever tasted.

"Hey Buck, you making the popcorn before or after we eat?" Vin asked as he began to mix his dough.

"I was thinking fix it first, kind of like an appetizer."

"Well what ya waiting on?"

Buck scowled playfully, "Waiting on you to get your skinny butt out of my way. Popcorn maker is in that cabinet," he pointed to the door Vin stood in front of.

"I ain't skinny," Vin growled, moving aside.

"Sure ya ain't," Buck scoffed. "Hell boy if ya turned sideways ya could hide behind a fencepost," he teased.

"Jealous Bucklin?" Vin asked, his eyes twinkling playfully.

"Jealous? Now why would I be jealous when I have this fine physique?" Buck questioned, gesturing at his own body as he spoke.

Vin glanced at Nathan, winking, "I reckon it is a fine physique at that, getting to be more of it every day."

"You're damned right it's a fine...," Buck trailed off, his eyes narrowing on the younger man. "What do you mean more of it everyday?"

"Ain't no wonder, I mean you ain't as young as ya used to be," Vin continued innocently. "Maybe you better not have any bread or chili today Buck, best stick to the boiled cabbage and plain popcorn."

"Vin's got a point Buck," Nathan piped up, getting in on the teasing. "Bread and chili are pretty fattening, best not have any cookies or pie either."

"Now you just hold on a minute Nathan, if you think I'm gonna sit here and eat popcorn and cabbage while you boys chow down on all this good food you better think again."

"Ain't no reason to get mad Buck, we're just looking out for you," Vin soothed.

"Looking out for me? You call torturing a man with all these good smells and then telling him he can't have hardly any of it, looking out for me?" Not waiting for an answer, Buck grabbed the popper from the cabinet. Stalking to the other side of the kitchen, he plugged it in and placed a bowl under the spout.

"What ya think Nathan?" Vin asked.

"Well it is a house-warming, I guess we could let the man have a small helping of chili and maybe a slice of bread," Nathan replied thoughtfully.

"Think he could have a cookie too?"

"I suppose one cookie wouldn't be too much, but no more than that Buck," Nathan warned.

"No more than...it's my house and I'll eat whatever I want," Buck sputtered. As his two friends burst out in laughter, he shot them a glare worthy of Chris. "That wasn't funny."

"Yes it was," Vin argued through his laughter.

"Was not," Buck mumbled as he turned back to his popcorn.

The rest of the day had gone like that, the teasing and bantering increasing as the others arrived. Soon the house had filled with the smells that meant home for each man. Though JD had taken pity on them, opting to buy some boiled cabbage rather than attempting to make it himself. His reason had been simple, even though he had found a simple recipe that he felt confident he could make, boiled cabbage was strong and could overpower all the other smells in the house. Buck couldn't argue with that, having smelled the stuff being cooked once, it was a smell he wasn't likely to ever forget. After putting his pot of cabbage on the back of the stove, where it would stay warm, JD had turned to Josiah.

"What ya making Josiah?" JD asked the big man as he began to pull ingredients from the bag he'd brought.

"Rosemary crepes."

"Crepes, isn't that something you have for breakfast?"

"You can, but crepes are good anytime. These should go real good with the chili," Josiah added.

"Crepes with chili?" Chris asked, sounding as skeptical as the other's looked.

"Yep," Josiah grinned. "Don't you boys trust me?"

"Well," Vin drawled, "now that you mention it..."

"Thought you liked my cooking Vin?"

"I do Josiah, but ya got to admit some of your experiments haven't turned out so good."

Josiah mulled this over, "I suppose that's true, but this isn't an experiment."

"So you've made this before, with chili?" Buck questioned.

"Well no," Josiah admitted, "but it's a proven recipe."

"Proven by who?" Chris wanted to know.

"I'm hurt boys," Josiah rumbled, hand to his heart. Seeing that none of them were buying into his act, he finally decided to be straight with them. "I got it online, it's rosemary crepes, stuffed with four cheeses and topped with a white sauce and tomatoes."

"That does sound good," Vin admitted.

"Yeah," Buck agreed.

"Does sound like it'd go good with chili," Nathan added.

"Well, now that it meets with your approval, can I get busy cooking?"

"By all means Josiah, carry on," Chris grinned.

Buck's eyebrow went up, "You been taking lessons from Ez stud?"

"The name is Ez-ra Mr. Wilmington, why is that so difficult to remember?"

Buck grinned, "Ain't hard to remember at all Ez...ra. So Chris, answer the question."

"Nothing wrong with being polite Buck," Chris defended himself.

"Sure there ain't, but you don't usually go around sounding like Ezra."

Chris shrugged, "Just seemed to fit."

Nothing more had been said, but for the rest of the day Buck had watched his old friend a little more closely. He wondered if Chris realized what was going on, he quickly decided that he probably didn't. Ezra was harder to read, but Buck didn't think he had any more of a clue than Chris, though for different reasons. Finally though, the day, like all good things, had come to an end. Buck looked around the room, his friend's voices still echoing in his mind as scenes from the day continued to flash in his mind. Yep, it had been a good day and for the first time since buying this small ranch, the place felt like home.

THREE MONTHS LATER

Buck jerked awake, his eyes going automatically to the figure in the bed. Satisfied that the man still breathed, he stood and walked to the window. Staring out at the city nightscape, he began to pray for the life of the man in the bed. "God I know I don't talk to ya nearly enough, but I could really use your help here. Vin could really use your help," he added softly, for good measure. "You see that man over there lord?" he asked, gesturing over his shoulder to the man in the bed. "We both know he ain't worth a hill of beans, but ya see God, he's the only one that knows where Vin is, so I'm asking ya, I'm begging you, please let him wake up."

"No change?" Chris asked needlessly as he stepped into the room, interrupting Buck's prayer.

"No," he replied dejectedly. "Have any of Ezra's contacts come through?"

Chris could hear the note of hope in Buck's voice, he hated to take that hope away, but with the shake of his head that was exactly what he did. "We will find him Buck," he promised.

"Yeah, but will it be in time?" Buck asked, glancing again at the bastard in the bed. "Damn it! There's got to more we can do than wait for him to wake up and tell us what he knows."

"We're doing all we can Buck," Chris assured him, giving his shoulder a comforting squeeze. Glaring at the man in the hospital bed, he wondered again how everything could've gone so wrong so fast. They weren't even on a case. The last one had been rough on everybody and Travis had given them light duty. So they'd been spending their time, checking liquor licenses and gun permits, nothing hard at all. Until Vin had gone to inspect Good Time Charlie's, an after hours club that catered to strippers and their clientele. Nobody knew what had happened. All they knew for sure was that Vin had called for back-up and there were gunshots in the background when he did. By the time help had reached the bar, the place was shot to hell and Vin Tanner was missing. The only person in the place was Ben Lewis, a bouncer at the bar and by all accounts the definition of scum. Unfortunately they couldn't get any answers from Ben, not unconscious and with a slug from a .44 in his gut. An ambulance had been called and Ben had been rushed to the hospital. That brought them to now. Ben had survived surgery, but he had yet to wake up. Even if he did, there was no guarantee he'd talk to them.

"He better damn well tell us what he knows or I swear I'll beat it out of him," Buck growled, as though reading Chris' mind.

"He'll tell us Buck, we'll make sure of that."

Vin lay curled up on the floor of his cell, fighting the urge to moan as another wave of pain hit him. A stupid liquor license inspection, that's all it was supposed to be. No reason for back-up, a simple, easy assignment. He should've known better. He'd noticed the large number of vehicles in the parking lot, too many considering the place was closed. Like a fool, he'd shrugged it off, deciding they probably belonged to employees who were setting up for the opening. "You're an idiot Tanner," he berated himself. He'd walked into the bar like the greenest rookie, hell even JD probably would've realized something wasn't right. "Guess that'll teach me to keep my mind on the job." He wondered who was more surprised, him or the bastards filming their little snuff flick. For a moment nobody moved, a moment that allowed Vin to see all he needed to. He'd seen the teenage girl tied to the pool table, the man raping her as he sliced her to ribbons with a knife, the camera that filmed every sick minute of it. As though it had been rehearsed, they all came out of their stupors in nearly the same instant. Vin yelled ATF as he reached for his gun, while simultaneously several men in the bar reached for their own weapons. Somehow he'd managed to hold them off long enough to call for back-up. Hadn't done him any good, within seconds of making the call, he'd found himself out of ammo and surrounded by the enemy. The boss had ordered the room cleared and Vin taken to a place better suited for questioning him. He'd struggled, but he was outnumbered. He'd only gotten in a couple of swings before something clipped him in the head and his world went dark. He'd woke up in this cell, alone and nursing a monster headache. Glancing around at what was obviously an old jail, Vin figured this time his number was up. Nobody knew where he was and if they'd left the bar empty there wasn't much chance the other's would ever find him.

An hour after he woke up, they had come for him. Four of them, big, ugly men, with tempers to match. Of course he'd had to open his mouth, "What's the matter, y'all can't face a me man to man?"

Ugly number one reached into the cell and jerked him forward, slamming him into the wall. Before he knew what was happening, his hands were cuffed behind him and he was shoved to the ground. The next few minutes passed in a blur as the four men took out their anger on him, only stopping when a fifth, much smaller man entered the building. "I'd appreciate it if you gentlemen didn't damage our guest until I tell you to."

"Sorry sir," one of the men mumbled as another hauled Vin to his feet.

Vin found himself unceremoniously dragged from the building, down the wood sidewalk and into an old-fashioned saloon. "I'm disappointed," he drawled as he took in the room, "no film crew?"

"Perhaps later," the small man, who was obviously in charge, smiled. It was a smile that brought Vin no comfort, sending a chill down his spine. It was the smile of a predator who had just found his prey. "As you can see Agent Tanner," he smiled at Vin's start upon hearing his name. "We checked your i.d," he explained. "Now, as I was saying, I'm sure you noticed you're in a ghost town."

Vin nodded, he'd noticed alright.

"I've found it is the perfect place in which to question prisoners. The only people to hear your screams work for me so there will be no help coming. The nearest populated town is fifty miles away, but in what direction?" he asked with a smile. "I abhor liars Agent Tanner, so I will be painfully honest with you. You are going to die here. Nobody knows where you are, nor will they discover your location. The only person left at the bar was the bouncer and he was dead," he coldly informed Vin, not realizing he was wrong. "So, the only question is, will you die slowly or quickly?"

"Y'all know what happens to you if you kill a federal agent?" Vin asked, aiming his question at the four men rather than their boss.

The man in charge threw back his head in laughter, "Oh you are amusing young man. You saw what was happening at the bar, do you really believe any of us are concerned about killing a federal agent? For that matter, do you think you're the first agent to die in this town?"

Vin swallowed hard, so much for planting seeds of doubt. The backhand caught him off guard, snapping his head to the side.

"I believe I asked you a question," the boss snarled.

"I reckon I ain't," Vin growled. He refused to let this man see that he was worried, no matter how uncertain he was of his own survival. "What'd you bring me here for?"

"You mean why not just kill you back at the bar or somewhere along the way here?"

"Yeah."

"Why do you think Agent Tanner?"

"Guess you're wanting to know something," Vin answered after a moment.

"Intelligence, how refreshing," the man smiled. "Now can you guess what it is I want to know? No? It is really very simple Vincent, may I call you Vincent? As I say, it's very simple...I want to know what you told your compatriots when you called for help?"

"What's your name?" Vin asked, grinning when he saw the surprised look on the man's face.

"Rupert Browner, why do you ask?"

"Just figured I should know your name when I tell ya to go to hell Rupert," Vin replied with a grin. The grin didn't last long as first one and then another beefy fist slammed into his unprotected stomach.

"Enough!" Browner ordered. "That was rude Vincent, I detest rudeness. Apologize," he ordered.

"Don't think so ya bastard," Vin calmly refused.

"Gentlemen I believe Agent Tanner needs a lesson in the proper way to address me," Browner stated, taking a few steps back.

It had taken every bit of willpower he had not to cry out in pain as the beating went on. It wasn't like he'd never taken a beating before, but this was different. It wasn't a beating meted out in anger, flailing fist missing as often as they connected. No, this had been a systematic beating, designed to break down his defenses until he told them what he wanted to know. When it was over, Browner had ordered him returned to his cell, with the promise of more pain to come if he didn't change his attitude. There were only seven problems with Browner's plan, the first was Vin's stubbornness and his absolute refusal to give into bullies. The other six were in the form of his teammates, men who wouldn't stop searching for him until they found him. God help Browner if Vin wasn't alive when they got here. With that thought, Vin finally gave into the pain, letting the darkness claim him.

TBC

Hope y'all liked it. Please feed the muse with reviews.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I don't own the Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Slash, Angst, Violence, Graphic Torture

Rating: FRT

Lost

Chapter 15

Rupert looked at the young man laying in the cell, hunger and distaste warring for dominance in his sharp features. "Bring him to the saloon," he ordered the men who accompanied him.

"Yes sir," the larger of the two answered. Opening the cell, he stepped inside and grabbed Vin by one arm, intending to drag him to his feet. To his surprise, the man he'd thought barely conscious, came to life with a vengeance; planting a foot in his gut, Vin kicked out knocking him into the wall. The thug's head connected with the hard surface, leaving him dazed as he slid down the wall.

Vin quickly took advantage of the surprise his unexpected attack had caused, pivoting, he again kicked out, catching the other man in the chest, leaving him in the same state as his partner. As much as he wanted to beat them to a pulp, Vin knew he couldn't spare the time. Barely sparing them a glance, he made his way to the back door and escape. Once satisfied that the alley was empty, he stepped out of the old jail into the night. Keeping to the shadows, he slipped away from the building.

A moan from the bed had Buck's head snapping up, a hopeful look lighting his eyes. "Come on, wake up damn you," he fiercely whispered.

Ben struggled to open his eyes. Recognizing the sounds around him, he searched his sluggish mind, trying to remember what had happened to land him in the hospital. Finally he managed to crack one eye open, "Who are you?"

"Buck Wilmington, ATF," he tersely replied.

"ATF?" Ben was confused, what did the ATF have to do with what Mr. Browner had going? "Wha' ya want?"

Buck forcibly held himself back, though he desperately wanted to grab the man and shake the answers he needed from him. "Do you know why you're here?" The puzzled look on the other man's face was all the reply necessary. "You were at Good Time Charlie's...an ATF agent came in, there was a shootout..."

Ben focused, the man's words were starting to bring back memories of the events that had put him here. "I got shot?" he asked, though it wasn't really a question.

"Yeah, they left you for dead." Buck hoped that the knowledge his boss or partners had left him behind would be enough to loosen his tongue. "They took the agent with them, I need to know where they'd take him."

Ben chuckled, "You don't think I'm gonna tell you anything do ya?"

"Look right now all we've got on you is a weapons charge, and assault with a deadly weapon, our agent gets killed and you're an accessory," Buck coldly informed him. "You tell me where they'd take him and we can cut you a deal," he offered.

"Ain't no deal you could offer me that'd make it worthwhile to talk," Ben scoffed. He'd seen what happened to those who defied Browner, wasn't anyway in hell he was going to be one of them. Maybe if the only threat from the boss was death, he'd consider talking, but the things that would be done to him first were more than any man could take.

"You ain't heard the deal yet..."

"It don't matter, there ain't nothing you can say to change my mind," Ben cut him off. "'sides, you can't charge me with anything," he smirked, knowing the only charge that might stick was a minor weapons charge.

"Damn you," Buck growled. Slamming his hand down next to Ben's head, he stood glaring down at him. "You tell me where they'll take him or you won't have to worry about what your boss will do to ya."

Ben grinned, "This agent must be awful important to you. I kind of remember what he looked like, he didn't look like a relative. So, what is he to you Wilmington?"

"He's my friend and partner, now where is he?" Buck demanded again, this time grabbing Ben's gown at the neck and twisting it.

"Good looking kid, ain't he?" Ben smirked.

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

Ben was enjoying the confused, frustrated look on the agent's face. Anytime he could mess with the cops was a good day in his book. "How long I been here?"

Buck was having a hard time keeping up with the man's thought processes. He seemed to jump from one topic to another without any real connection that he could see. "They brought you in about 10:30 this morning, it's almost midnight now."

"You're too late then," Ben told him with a smile. Oh yeah, he was really enjoying this.

Buck could feel the blood draining from his face, no, god please no. "You don't know that," he managed to choke out.

"He may still be alive, don't know about that, but he won't want to be." Ben nearly laughed aloud at the return of frustration to Wilmington's face. "They'll torture him first, want to know who else knows about the operation," he began, enjoying himself. "You don't even want to know some of the things they'll do to him. He's got him a fella working for him, spent time in 'Nam. That man learned a lot from the Viet Cong about torture, your friend will be begging for death by the time he's done with him." He did laugh now, smirking cruelly as Buck staggered back from the bed, a look of horror spreading across his face. "Once they're sure they got all the information out of him they can, they'll start working on recouping some of the money they lost by having to deal with him. You know the old saying, time is money, and it takes time to torture a man to that extent."

"What," Buck paused, licking his lips. "What do you mean recouping?"

Ben laughed, "You really don't know, do ya? My boss makes movies Agent Wilmington, sometimes just bdsm and sometimes snuff films. Guess he'll put your friend in a snuff film, of course if he's good enough, maybe he'll keep him around for a while. Make a few movies with him," he taunted the big man.

"You son of a bitch!" Buck snarled, grabbing the man and jerking him half out of the bed. "Where is he? Tell me damn you!"

Chris stepped into Ben Lewis' hospital room, the news he'd been about to pass to Buck, dying on his lips. Shit! "Buck, put him down," he ordered.

"No! He knows where Vin is and he's gonna tell me."

"Get him off of me," Ben demanded.

"Shut up," Chris snapped. "We don't need him Buck."

"We don't?"

"Nope, Ezra's contacts came through, we know where they took Vin."

"Bullshit!" Ben denied. "Nobody would tell you about Four Corners...shit," Ben clamped his mouth shut. Damn, he was a dead man. Browner wouldn't care that they'd tricked him, only that he'd talked.

Chris smirked, "Looks like you're wrong, somebody did. We also know the man in charge is a Rupert Browner, Charlie's silent partner."

Buck dropped Ben back to the bed, "What the hell are we waiting on?" he asked. Grabbing Chris' arm, he moved him towards the door.

Chris glanced over his shoulder at Ben, catching the speculative gleam in his eye. "Don't get any ideas, there's a guard outside the door," he smirked. Lets Buck pull him from the room, jerking his arm free as soon as they'd cleared the room. "Buck stop, where are we going?"

"To Four Corners to get Vin," Buck answered, giving Chris a disbelieving look.

"Where is that Buck? Where's our back-up? What's our plan?"

Buck hung his head, blinking back the tears that suddenly blurred his vision. "We got to get him out of there Chris, you don't know what they'll do to him."

"Buck you know ya can't believe whatever that bastard told you," Chris tried to soothe.

"Browner makes porn films Chris. BDSM and snuff films," he added brokenly. "What if he decides to..." he trailed off, unable to go on.

"We'll get to him in time Buck, the rest of the team is waiting at JD's." Chris frowned at the look of apprehension crossing his old friend's face. "I know you're not comfortable there Buck, but it's closest to the hospital and the sooner we make a plan, the sooner we get Vin back."

Buck nodded, Chris was right. Vin was the important one, without another word he followed Chris out of the hospital.

Vin's freedom had been short-lived, twenty minutes after escaping he was recaptured. Dragged to the saloon, he was unceremoniously dumped on the filthy floor of the ancient building.

"Such disrespect," Browner tsked. "Don't you know it's rude to refuse a man's hospitality Vincent?"

"Guess nobody ever taught me manners," Vin smirked.

"Perhaps it's time we remedy that," Browner smiled coldly. Nodding to his men, he stepped back to wait for them to get the young man secured to the chair. He smiled approvingly as they tied his wrists to the arms of the chair, he could feel a stirring of anticipation, already hearing the young agent's screams in his mind. "You can make this easy on yourself Vincent, all you need to do is tell me what your colleagues know of my business."

Vin's only response was to glare at the man holding him prisoner.

"Are you certain of your decision?" Browner quietly asked.

Vin continued to glare, not giving the man the satisfaction of a verbal answer.

Browner shook his head, a sad, though insincere, smile on his face. "Very well, gentlemen..." stepping back, he allowed his men to do what they did best. He had to give the young man credit for stubbornness, in spite of the methodical beating he was receiving, he refused to cry out in pain. Well that would soon change, Rupert smirked, as one of the men picked up a pair of pliers.

Vin's eyes widened when he saw what the man held, but he showed no other outward sign of fear. Oh lord. no. Please, no. Don't do it. Somebody help me. His silent pleas were quickly halted as the man with the pliers grabbed one of his fingernails with them, slowly bending it backwards, forcing Vin to focus on holding back his cries of pain.

"Impressive Vincent, a lesser man would be sobbing by now," Rupert commented from the sidelines. "Are you ready to answer my question now?"

"Go to hell," Vin ground out.

Rupert studied his nails, "Perhaps, but I believe you will be there first."

The smell of something burning tore his attention away from Browner and back to the men torturing him. Involuntarily, he began to shake his head as his muscles contracted in a futile effort to pull his hand away from the burning match head that was slowly being brought towards his finger. As the flame touched the sensitive skin, normally protected by his nail, Vin bit his lip until it bled. It was a useless effort, as the flame burned the tender skin, he began to whimper and groan. Before he could recover from this torment, a second nail was bent backwards, this time the skin beneath was cut before it was burned. Vin's screams filled the air, unknowingly to him, bringing a surge of pleasure to Rupert Browner.

"Vincent...Vincent," Rupert called, slapping the young man's face to gain his attention. "What do your colleagues know?"

Vin gasped, the pain was intense, surprising him. He would never have expected that such a small area of skin could bring such overwhelming pain. "Go...to...hell," he panted. The results were nearly instant. Browner stepped back; the men torturing him stepped forward and the pain continued.

Vin sighed gratefully as the men seemed to grow bored with the damage they were inflicting on his fingers. A scream ripped from his throat, oh god! The fingernails were being pushed back into place, slowly, excruciatingly, the pain worse than the reverse action had caused. Vin wondered why they were bothering. He didn't have to wonder long, as the nail sealed over the burns and cuts, the pain grew exponentially. By the time it was done, much to his shame, Vin was sobbing.

"You want it to end, don't you Vincent?"

"Please," Vin whispered.

"What do you colleagues know?"

"No...can't, please...stop."

"I can't do that Vincent, not until you answer my question," Rupert insisted.

Vin gathered his strength, spitting in the man's face, "No."

"That wasn't nice Vincent," Browner admonished. "Not nice at all. Gentlemen, hurt him but don't mark him more than you must. I have an idea of how our Vincent will meet his end," he smiled coldly as he stepped away. The sounds of the young man's screams, as the men in his employ eagerly inflicted as much pain as they could, were music to his ears.

"Not gonna...won't...talk," Vin manged, his words slurred by pain.

"Oh I see that Vincent, this is just for my pleasure," Browner smirked. "I believe we can cease this phase of the entertainment. Gentlemen would you position the cameras and make ready our star?"

"Star?" Vin asked, confused.

"You Vincent," Browner smiled. "Don't you want to be a star?"

"No...please, no, don't do it! Please, don't, not that," but Vin's pleas fell on deaf ears.

Having learned that this man could be dangerous in his own right, and knowing that desperation lent men strength, they took no chances. Grabbing a knife, they began to cut along the seams of their prisoner's clothes. Reaching down, they removed Vin's shoes and socks from his feet, before finally cutting the ropes that held him in the chair. Clamping onto his arms, they hauled him to his feet as his clothes fell away from his body, leaving him nude.

Vin struggled to break free of their hold, but hours of torture had left him weak. As they dragged him to the table they'd prepared, Vin could do nothing but pray that Buck would find him before it was too late. Please help me, please let Buck, let the team find me. God don't let this happen, please. Vin's struggles renewed as they bent him over the table edge, leaving him exposed and vulnerable. Even as they quickly secured his wrists and ankles to the table legs, he continued to fight them, unaware of the damage to his skin as he fought the ropes.

Rupert knelt down next to the table, soothingly brushing the hair from his victim's face. "You are a beautiful man, did you know that?" he whispered. "It's a shame you are in such a distasteful line of work. Perhaps if you weren't I would keep you as a pet," he murmured. Browner looked up at the men who were beginning to ready themselves for their roles in this short film. Glancing between them and Vin, he came to a decision. "Gentlemen, I don't believe your services will be needed after all."

"Boss?" the leader of the four questioned.

"I have changed my mind, Vincent will not become a star. No," he softly spoke, brushing his hand over Vin's back. "He is much too special for that."

Vin shook under his touch, his words penetrating the fog his mind had retreated into. He didn't want to die, but it was preferable to this.

"You sure boss?"

Rupert surged to his feet, picking up a knife, he attacked, slashing the man across his chest. "You dare to question me?" he roared as he loomed over the man now cowering on the floor.

"I'm sorry boss, don't do it please," the man plead. "I didn't mean it like that, just trying to look out for you."

Rupert instantly calmed, his cold blue eyes losing the flash of insanity, "I suppose that is your job, isn't it? I do appreciate the concern, but I know what I'm doing, I assure you." Laying the knife on a nearby table, he returned to Vin's side. Rubbing his hands over the hard, young body before him, he smiled. "Yes, you'll make a fine pet, once I tame you." Glancing at the others in the room, he tilted his head, silently ordering them from the building. He was gratified to see that they offered no further argument. Helping their compatriot to his feet, they led him from the building. The moment they were gone, Rupert began to strip of his own clothing. He smiled coldly at the fear he could see reflected in the blue-eyed tempter before him. "I like your fear Vincent, it excites me," he calmly informed him, his voice thick with desire. Stepping forward, he held his penis in his hand, rubbing it over Vin's lips. "See how you excite me?" He didn't need an answer, the fear and disgust he saw in his victim's eyes was enough. Moving to stand behind the young man, he reached out, spreading the cheeks of his ass apart; he positioned himself at his entrance.

"No, please..don't do this. Please, god please don't. Just kill me, please not this," Vin babbled, desperate to avoid Browner's plans for him.

Chris and the rest of the team had arrived in the old ghost town. Separating into pairs, they scouted the town. Meeting back at the old newspaper office, they compared notes. "Alright, we only have five men. Rupert Browner and four thugs, any ideas?" Chris asked.

"I say we go busting into that saloon before it's too late for Vin," Buck growled.

"I know how you feel Buck..."

"No you don't Chris," Buck interrupted.

Chris sighed, ignoring his old friend's anger, recognizing it for what it was. "We can't just go busting in Buck. We do that and Vin becomes a hostage," he pointed out.

"Mr. Larabee, I believe our predicament has been resolved by the enemy themselves," Ezra drawled from his position by the window.

"What's going on Ezra?" Chris asked.

"Mr. Browner's four friends are leaving the saloon. I suggest that four of us apprehend them, leaving Mr. Wilmington and Mr. Dunne to deal with their leader."

"I like the way you think Ezra," Chris smirked. Watching the men, his smirk grew into a grin as he saw where they were going. "I think our job just got a lot easier. Nathan, Josiah, Ezra, you're with me. Buck, JD, go get Vin and be careful."

Buck nodded, grabbing JD and quickly leaving the old structure. Carefully, they made their way across the street to the saloon. It was one of the most difficult things Buck had ever done as he waited for the others to enter the jail. He could hear Vin begging, the fear in his voice as he plead with Browner, breaking his heart. He wanted nothing more than to rush into the building and rip Rupert Browner apart for hurting the man he loved. JD's hand on his arm brought him a measure of control as he impatiently waited. He saw Chris open the door to the jail, turning back to the saloon, he led JD inside. His blood ran cold at the sight before him.

JD stared in shock at the scene they'd stepped into. With a cry of pure anger, the young agent rushed forward, knocking Browner away from Vin. As he pummeled Browner, he was vaguely aware of Buck speaking to Vin in the background. Soothing him, while freeing him from his bonds.

"JD, JD!" Buck yelled.

Buck's yell brought him back to the present. Quickly cuffing Browner's wrists behind his back, he turned to Buck. Standing up, he moved towards where his big brother sat rocking Vin, tears streaming down both their faces.

"Find me a blanket JD and get Nathan," Buck quietly ordered. "Hurry JD," he anxiously added. Turning his attention to Vin, Buck was barely aware of JD running from the building as he took in the condition of the young man in his arms. All he could do,as he waited, was gently rock Vin, soothing him with soft words as his tears continued to flow.

TBC

Hope y'all liked it. Please feed the muse with reviews and I'll try to update soon. I have mid-terms next week so there may be a slight delay.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I don't own the Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Slash

A/N: I don't know if the medical information is completely accurate, but it seemed to make sense.

Rating: FRT

Lost

Chapter 16

"Buck?" Vin wanted to believe this was real, but he was scared that he had just dreamt Buck into existence.

"I'm here Vin," Buck whispered. "You're going to be okay," he smiled down at the man in his arms.

Vin reached up, his hand ghosting over Buck's face. Lord he needed to touch him, to know he was real but what if...before he could complete the thought he closed the small distance remaining, letting his hand rest against Buck's cheek. The first thing his mind registered was warmth, the next was the realization that the man holding him was real, not imagined. "Knew you'd find me," he rasped.

Buck's eyes filled with tears, it meant more to him than he could say that Vin trusted him that much. "Just wish it'd been sooner."

"Found me, 's what's important," Vin assured him. Staring into Buck's eyes, Vin was surprised to see the tears forming there. "Don' cry Bucklin...'m okay," he tried to soothe the older man. To his dismay, rather than soothing it seemed his words had made it worse as the tears began to fall from his friend's eyes. Opening his mouth to try again, Vin didn't get the chance as Nathan came running into the saloon, followed closely by Chris and JD.

Nathan skidded to a stop next to Vin and Buck, quickly dropping to kneel beside them. As he reached for Vin's wrist, intending to take his pulse, he jerked back in surprise at the low growl coming from Buck. "It's okay Buck, I just want to make sure he's okay."

"Nathan?" Buck asked in a bewildered voice. "Vin's hurt Nathan, they hurt him bad," he quietly informed the medic, his voice thick with tears.

"I know Buck," Nathan softly confirmed. "Can you lay him on the floor for me?" he asked. As he spoke, he spread a blanket from the jail out on the wood surface.

"The floor?"

Nathan nodded, "I need to assess his condition, it'd be easier if he wasn't in your arms."

"Okay," Buck quietly agreed. Carefully he laid Vin down on the hard floor, reluctantly moving away so Nathan could take care of him.

"Hey Vin," Nathan smiled. "Looks like you found some trouble." As he spoke Nathan was already gently examining the younger man, silently cursing Browner each time Vin flinched from his touch.

"Guess so," Vin quietly agreed.

"Where do ya hurt?"

Vin thought about that, quietly taking inventory before attempting to answer the question. "Might be better to ask where don't I hurt," he joked even as a moan of pain escaped.

Chris watched the scene before him for only a moment, his eyes hardening with a promise of retribution for those who had dared to hurt Vin. Recognizing that there wasn't anything he could do for Vin, he left him in Nathan's capable hands. In only a few long strides he was standing over Rupert Browner's naked body as the smaller man began to stir. "This the scum in charge?" he asked JD as he stared down at Browner in disgust.

"He matches the description we have of Browner," JD confirmed.

"Did he," Chris swallowed hard, finding it difficult to get the question out. "Did he rape Vin?" he managed with his second try.

"No, we got here in time," JD replied. "It was close Chris, he was just about to..." the young man trailed off, unable to say the word.

Chris nodded in understanding. Kneeling down beside Browner, he grabbed him by his hair, jerking his head back. "You owe JD a thank you Browner," he growled.

"JD? I presume that is the young man who pummeled me into unconsciousness?"

"No, that would be the young man who stopped you from raping my best friend. That's why you owe him a thank you, if he hadn't stopped you I would've had to kill you," Chris coldly informed him. He glanced over at where Vin was being taken care of, with Buck hovering nearby, occasionally shooting murderous glares at Browner. "That is if there'd been anything left of you by the time I got here."

"I'll have him up on charges of police brutality," Browner threatened.

Chris shot him a wolfish grin as he bounced his head off the wood floor. "You don't want to do that Browner. First of all, there isn't anybody in law enforcement that won't want a piece of you when they see what you did to a brother officer and that includes prosecutors and judges. Secondly we have several team members who will be willing to testify that JD had no choice in beating you. It was the only way to stop you from causing Vin any more harm and of course he had to protect himself. Those bruises on your knuckles will back that story up." He hadn't actually seen Browner's hands but the bruises on JD's face told him the man had gotten in a few strikes. "There is one more reason you wouldn't want to do that, the most important reason."

Several minutes went by, the silence quickly becoming unbearable for Browner. "What?" he finally asked, glaring at the blond ATF agent.

"I used to be a Navy Seal, I know plenty of ways to dispose of a body so that it'll never be found. Oh, and don't think being in jail would help you. I can get you out, even if you were in protective custody and they'd never be able to prove it was me. Even if they could find an officer willing to testify against me," he grinned. "Now what was that about police brutality?"

Rupert Browner hadn't gotten where he was by being stupid. "Nothing my good man, you must have misunderstood me."

"I must have," Chris agreed. "JD, you find his clothes?"

"Right here," JD replied. He held out the man's clothes, holding them with just the tips of his fingers, as if he were afraid of catching something.

"Drop 'em," Chris ordered as he stood up. "Get dressed," he ordered Browner as he released his wrists from the cuffs. "JD keep a close eye on him." Turning his back, he walked back to the others. Kneeling down beside Buck, he placed a supportive hand on his back. "How's he doing Nathan?"

"They worked him over pretty good Chris," Nathan grimly replied. The look his words brought to their faces had him immediately regretting them. "He'll live, but he's gonna be hurting for a while. Then there's the psychological damage, some of the things they did to him hurt him in more ways than just physical."

"How you want to get him to the hospital?" Chris asked.

"He ain't so bad hurt that we can't drive him ourselves, but I don't think we want to transport him with any of them in the vehicle."

"Hell no," Buck growled. There wasn't any way in hell he'd let Vin get in a car with them bastards. He'd carry him to the hospital himself before he let that happen.

"Calm down Buck," Chris soothed. "I'm not letting him ride with them either. We'll leave Josiah, Ezra and JD here to guard them while we take Vin to the hospital. We'll send some black and whites to pick Browner and his men up. The others can meet us at the hospital as soon as the, as Ez would say, miscreants are disposed of."

"Good. We should find his clothes, he won't like going to the hospital like this," Buck quietly pointed out.

"Um Chris," JD called from where he stood guarding Browner.

Chris quickly stood up, prepared to take Browner down if he was offering any resistance. He was surprised and if he were honest, a little disappointed to see Browner sitting on the floor, now fully dressed, offering no fight. "What is it JD?"

"I found Vin's clothes earlier, they cut them off of him."

"Alright JD, thanks." Turning around, he let out a heavy sigh. Damn Browner, he silently cursed. Looking around the old saloon, a part of him sincerely wished they were living in the old west. At least back then they knew how to handle men like Rupert Browner. "I'm gonna go with JD, we'll get Browner to the jail and let the others know what's going on," he quickly informed Buck and Nathan. "You two get Vin ready to move, I'll be back soon with my truck and we'll get him to the hospital."

"We'll have him ready Chris," Nathan assured him as he checked to make sure the blanket was securely wrapped around Vin.

A couple of hours later the others arrived at the hospital, quickly spotting Chris, but not Buck, they hurried to join him. All three felt their hearts dropping as they took in the dejected look on Chris' face. "Any news?" JD nervously asked as he sat down next to Chris.

"Not yet," Chris replied. "Nathan went to see what he could find out."

"Where's Buck?"

"Vin got so upset about going in the back alone that the doctor let him go along." Looking in that direction as he spoke, he smiled at the sight which greeted him, "Nathan, how is he?"

"He's going to be okay, but there's some things you all need to know," Nathan carefully replied.

"Things?" Chris asked for them all. "What kind of things?"

Nathan licked his lips, damn but sometimes he really hated being the medical liaison for the team. "The nurse said we could use their break room to talk."

All four visibly paled, their imaginations running wild as they automatically began to consider the things that could've been done to their friend. Nervously they followed him down the hall to the break room. The door had barely shut behind them when they began to bombard Nathan with questions.

Nathan held up his hand, "Hold on," his voice raising a bit to get their attention. "Like I said he is going to be okay, but he's going to have a rough time of it."

"How so?"

"First of all the doctor did confirm that Vin was not raped." Nathan paused, giving them a moment to enjoy that bit of good news. "He was beaten pretty badly, but the closest they got to breaking any bones was cracking a few ribs. He'll have to be careful of those for a while. He also has a slight concussion."

JD snorted, "Of course he does, it's Vin." His remark brought chuckles from them all, lightening the somber mood a bit.

"You didn't bring us in here for this Nathan, what else is there?" Chris demanded.

Nathan took a deep breath, bracing himself against the door to keep them from charging out in search of Browner. "They tortured him." In a few clipped sentences he explained what had been done to Vin, not surprised when all four of the others began to look as though they were plotting murder. "The doctor had to sedate him so he can," Nathan swallowed hard. Even knowing that Vin would be out this time, it still made his skin crawl to think of his friend going through that a second time.

"So he can what Nathan?"

"So he can bend the nails back and treat the burns and cuts beneath them. He's going to have to stay in the hospital a few days so they can give him treatments every day."

"Jesus wept," Josiah mumbled, his heart breaking for his young friend.

"It ain't as bad as it sounds, they'll sedate him each time but they've got to make sure the wounds don't become infected. If they do Vin could very well lose his fingers," Nathan solemnly explained.

"Could they not treat him as an outpatient?" Ezra asked. He knew, as did the others, how much Vin hated being in the hospital.

Nathan shook his head, "Not this time. The location of the wounds is especially prone to becoming infected if exposed to injury. That part of the body just doesn't get exposed to bacteria usually, so it's easier for infection to set in. They want him in the hospital where they can start aggressive treatment at the first sign of infection."

"He's not going to like that," JD commented.

"Indeed."

"I know he won't y'all, but it's got to be this way. I did talk to the doctor, he knows about Vin's aversion to hospitals and he's fine with one of us staying with him at all times."

"That's good," Chris growled. "I'd hate to have to shoot Vin's doctor, too much paperwork."

His comment was delivered so dryly that it took a moment for the others to catch the joke. When they did, his remark accomplished what Chris had hoped for, relieving the tension in a burst of laughter. "Does Vin know?"

"Not yet, the doctor thought it would be easier to treat him if he didn't know until after the first treatment." Nathan wasn't surprised by the looks of disapproval crossing the faces of his teammates. He hadn't been happy with it either, and Buck had really objected. They all knew how Vin felt about being lied to and with all he'd already gone through Nathan was afraid it would damage his trust in his friends, making his recovery more difficult. "Buck and I didn't like it either, until the doctor explained," he quickly cut off their protests. "He made some good points. There really wasn't time to tell Vin right now. Quick treatment is his best chance of staving off any infection. The doctor also pointed out that stress can interfere with the body's ability to respond to treatment and Vin is already stressed without adding to it. He's not going to keep it from him, he's just waiting until he's recovered from the effects of the sedation and then he'll explain what will be needed to make sure he doesn't lose his fingers."

"That seems wise," Josiah commented, as the others nodded in agreement.

"When can we see him?"

"Doctor Burris said treatment will take about an hour and then they'll move him to his room, we can see him then."

An hour later the rest of team seven quietly walked into Vin's hospital room. Buck looked up as the door began to open, his hand automatically drifting to his gun. He sighed with relief when he saw his friends, "Shhh, he's still sleeping."

"How'd it go?" Nathan asked. 

Buck shuddered, "Let's just say I'm glad he was asleep." Moving his eyes back to Vin's face, he gently brushed the hair from his face. "I hate to think of what it must've been like for him," he softly commented. He didn't tell them the extent of the injuries lying just under Vin's fingernails, nor how sick it had made him to watch the doctor and nurses treating them. Though Vin had been unconscious through it all, Buck hadn't been able to block out the imagined screams of the man he loved as they worked, just barely restraining himself from attacking the doctor.

Vin could hear voices, but these weren't the voices of the men who'd hurt him. These were men he trusted, men who cared about him. Men who would ride through hell to save him, men he would gladly do the same for. Sluggishly he fought to pry his eyes open, a small moan sounding as he shifted in the bed.

"Vin? Come on Vin, wake up for us," Buck encouraged.

"Cowboy, you with us?" Chris asked from the other side of the bed.

"Mmmmhmmm," Vin replied.

"Vin open your eyes," Chris ordered.

"Wanna sleep," Vin mumbled.

"I know cowboy," Chris smiled. "You got some worried friends that'd like to say hello."

"Frien's? Good frien's...ride...hell."

"Yeah we would," Chris confirmed.

Vin's eyes suddenly popped open, staring up at Chris with a touch of panic, "Browner?"

"He's in jail, he won't be hurting you or anybody else ever again."

Vin visibly relaxed against the pillow. "JD's a lion," he smiled, vaguely remembering the sound of his young friend's roar.

"Really?" Chris smiled, nearly laughing as JD blushed redder than anybody he'd ever seen.

Vin nodded, "Heard him roar."

"When was that?"

"Saloon...I think."

"He did," Buck confirmed. "Right before he tackled Browner and beat the hell out of him."

"JD did that?" Vin was surprised that the gentle young man could be so violent. "JD?"

JD stepped forward, taking Chris' place by the bed, "Yeah Vin?"

"Thank you," he smiled as he reached for JD's hand, grasping it firmly. "As Ez says, your timing is..." he paused, unable to remember the word.

"Impeccable," Ezra supplied.

"Yeah, that."

"You're welcome," JD uncomfortably responded. He didn't feel like he deserved praise for doing what any man would do for a friend, but he didn't want to upset Vin by saying so. "You get better soon Vin." Giving the other man's shoulder a light pat, he stepped away from the bed.

One by one the others greeted the man in the bed, each taking a moment to assure himself that the younger man really was going to be okay. Though it was only a few minutes, it seemed to wear Vin out. With a small smile playing across his lips, he drifted back to sleep, secure in the knowledge that his friends were there to watch his back.

TBC

Sorry it took so long, but for those who might wonder the mid-terms that delayed this chapter went well. Thank you for the good wishes. Hope y'all liked this one, please feed the muse with reviews.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I don't own the Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warning: Angst, Slash

Rating: FRT

Lost

Chapter 17

Chris quietly pushed open the door to Vin's room, having been warned by the nurse that the younger man had just recently completed another treatment. Thank God they were able to sedate him for the necessary procedure, he could only imagine how painful it would have been for his friend otherwise. Even so, he still experienced a fair amount of residual pain when he did wake up, something Chris was in no hurry to see happen.

"I'm so sorry I didn't find you sooner sweetness," Buck whispered as he brushed the hair back from Vin's face. It was pure hell to watch the doctors treat the younger man, the treatment a constant reminder of what he had suffered at Browner's hands.

Chris was surprised and worried to hear his old friend's words. He knew Buck wouldn't force himself on Vin, not when given the choice, but he wasn't at all sure Vin was ready for more than friendship. For a moment he didn't say anything, only watched and listened as Buck spoke soothingly to the younger man. "Buck?" he quietly called, surprising the other man.

Buck's head snapped up at the unexpected voice, muscles tensing in preparation for a fight. When he saw who stood there, he visibly relaxed. "Chris," he softly acknowledged the other man's presence. "Vin ain't really up to visitors right now."

"The nurse told me, thought maybe I could buy you a cup of coffee."

Buck's gaze immediately fell to the figure in the bed. "I don't know Chris, I hate to leave him alone."

"The nurse said he'd probably sleep for at least another hour, you'll be back long before that," he assured him. "Come on, I'll buy you some breakfast."

"Nah, thanks anyway stud."

"Buck, you won't do Vin any good if you collapse from exhaustion." Chris sighed heavily when Buck made no move to join him. "I'm sure the nurse can page you if he wakes up," he added, hoping it would be enough to convince him.

"I don't want him waking up alone, it always takes him a few minutes to remember where he is."

"He won't be Mr. Wilmington." Ezra had arrived at almost the same time as Chris, but had thought it would be best if he gave the team leader a chance to talk to Buck and Vin before he made his own entrance.

"You two plan this?" Buck asked, a shadow of his normal self showing through in the faint twinkle of his blue eyes.

"Surely you don't believe I would conspire with Mr. Larabee," Ezra quickly protested.

"Yeah I do, and don't call me Shirley," Buck smirked.

Ezra heaved a long suffering sigh. "Really Buck, must you trot out that tired line from that insipid movie at every opportunity?" Though he would never admit it, Ezra secretly loved the Airplane movies, in his opinion Leslie Nielson was a genius at deadpan delivery. He was not, however, prepared to inform his friends of this, they would never let him live it down if they knew.

"Of course," Buck replied with a grin.

"Come on Buck, let Ezra stay with Vin and I'll buy you breakfast," Chris encouraged.

"You're not going to give up, are you?"

Chris shot a sardonic grin at his old friend, "Nope."

"Fine, I'll come with you but we're not staying long." Standing up, he reluctantly stepped towards the door, letting Ezra take his seat. As he put his hand on the edge of the door, he shot a last look over his shoulder. "If he wakes up have the nurse page me, okay?"

"Certainly," Ezra agreed giving a regal tilt of his head.

Buck looked across the table at his old friend, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. "Why'd you really invite me to breakfast?"

"I heard what you said to Vin."

"So? Wait a minute, you mean me calling him sweetness?"

"Yeah, you think he's ready for that Buck?"

"I ain't gonna push him if that's what you mean."

Chris sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. Damn, he knew he should've sent Josiah over to talk to Buck. "Aren't you? You've been hovering over him since we found him, hell Buck you haven't let anybody else stay with him at all. I was already worried about that, it's part of why I came by this morning, now I'm even more concerned."

"Worried, concerned," Buck nearly spat the words. "You still don't trust me, that it? How about the rest of the team, they feel the same way?"

"You hold it right there Buck, I never said you weren't trusted. I said I was worried about the way you've been hovering, but it wasn't because I don't trust you."

Buck glared, why would Chris be worried? There was only one reason that made sense, he thought Buck was going to do something to hurt Vin again. He couldn't help feeling hurt by the mistrust, he had really believed they were past that.

"I know how you feel about Vin and I'm worried, we're all worried, that you're going to run yourself into the ground trying to be here for him. You're not the only one who cares about him Buck, we all do and if you'll let us we're more than willing to take some of the load off your shoulders."

"Ain't a load, it's a privilege to take care of him," Buck countered.

Chris sighed again, "Maybe that wasn't the right word. I don't mean it's a burden for ya and I know you don't feel that way, but it is a lot of strain on a man. Let us help Buck, give us the privilege of helping you both." He didn't mention that Travis was beginning to question why Buck needed so much time off. He'd readily accepted Chris' explanation, backed up by Josiah and Nathan, that Buck had been traumatized by what he had witnessed in that ghost town. However, he was starting to hint that if Buck was so badly effected perhaps he should see the department shrink. Something Chris was sure Buck would never go for.

Buck gave his old friend a sheepish look, "Guess I have been kind of selfish, ain't I?"

"You've been worried and I think maybe feeling guilty, it's colored your judgment a bit."

He nodded, "I suppose it has."

"So you'll spend some time at the office? Let the rest of us help Vin too?"

"Yeah, I guess." Swirling the coffee in his cup, Buck considered his next words carefully. "About what I said Chris, what I called Vin."

"Yeah?"

"I ain't pushing him, but I'm not going to hold back so much anymore either."

One eyebrow shot up, "What's that mean?"

"I've been holding back, moving slower than I ever have in my life. I didn't mind, I'd do anything for that man and hell he deserves it after what I did," he quickly added. "Thing is, while he was missing all I could think about was the what ifs. What if he was dead? What if we never found him? What if he was alive but so badly damaged by what they did that he couldn't recover? What if I had missed the chance to show him just how much I love him?" Looking up from his coffee, he fixed tear filled blue eyes on his oldest friend. "When we found him, he clung to me Chris, like he was afraid I'd disappear on him if he didn't. You know what he said to me?"

"What'd he say Buck?" Chris quietly asked.

Buck smiled softly, "Said he knew I'd find him. Not that he knew we'd find him, he knew I'd find him. I couldn't believe that he had that much faith in me Chris, especially after...well you know. I knew then Chris, it's time to stop pussyfooting around, time to show him what he means to me."

"What if he doesn't feel the same way?"

"Then nothing'll happen and no hard feelings, but I have to try Chris. You can see that can't you?" Buck was nearly pleading for the other man's understanding, he just hoped his friend could understand.

Chris listened closely, not only to the words but to the feeling behind them. The thickness of Buck's voice, the heartfelt emotion that was clearly there, reminded him of another time and place. Buck had never faltered in his support of Chris as he pursued the lovely Sarah Connely. Not even when her father was threatening to court martial them both if Chris didn't stop seeing her. Chris could do no less, "Yeah Buck, I see it and for what it's worth you've got my support, just..."

"Don't hurt him," Buck finished. "I won't Chris, I swear it."

Chris smiled, "Actually I was going to say just try to keep the mushiness out of the office."

"What's the matter Chris, afraid somebody might get ideas?"

Chris nearly choked on his coffee, "What?"

"You okay stud?"

"I'm fine! Who do you think is going to get ideas?" he demanded.

"Hell Chris ya don't have to get so uptight about it, I was just teasing. I know Ms. Travis is just a friend."

"Mary, of course," Chris mumbled.

"Who else would be getting ideas?" Buck asked, all innocence and light.

"Nobody," Chris quickly, too quickly replied.

"Can we go back to the room now? I really don't want Vin to wake up with me gone, he's kind of used to me being there."

"Yeah we can go." Chris stood up, quickly hurrying after Buck who had took off almost before he had finished speaking. "How bad is it?" he asked with some concern, as he rejoined his friend.

Buck sighed as he pushed the button for Vin's floor. "Not as bad as it could be, but when he wakes up he's usually disoriented, takes him a minute or two to realize he ain't back there in that saloon. Then there's the pain he goes through from the treatments."

"I thought they were sedating him for those?"

"They are, but the pain is still there when he wakes up."

"Aren't they giving him something for it?"

"Hell Chris, you know how Vin is about pain meds. Don't blame him any either, growing up like he did, seeing the things he did, I'd be afraid of getting hooked too if I was in his shoes." The elevator doors opened, admitting two young women, bringing a halt to their conversation. A couple of minutes later, the doors slid open again, allowing Buck and Chris to step out of the small car.

"Damn Buck, you do have it bad," Chris teased. "Did you even notice them girls?"

"I noticed them, just not in the mood to flirt."

"Like I said, you got it bad." 

"Didn't see you flirting either," Buck pointed out, trying to deflect attention from himself.

Chris grinned, "Not likely to." Chris pulled Buck to a stop as they neared the door to Vin's room.

"What?" Buck snapped impatiently.

"Calm down Buck, I just want to talk to you for a second."

"I'm calm."

"I want ya to go home, after Vin wakes up and is calm enough. He won't be alone, one of us will stay with him, but you need to get some rest and at least put in an appearance at the office."

"How long do I have to stay gone?"

"Six hours, and I want you to be at home resting for at least four of them."

"Then I can come back?" Silently Buck winced at the plaintive tone of his own voice. He realized he sounded like a little boy being told he had to wait until after school for a treat, knew Chris would probably tease him about it later, but he just couldn't help himself.

Chris smiled, amused, "Yes Buck, then you can come back. Think you can survive that long away from him?"

"Shut up Chris," Buck ordered, but there was no real heat in his words.

"Shutting up," Chris grinned, enjoying his friend's embarrassment.

As the door opened, Ezra looked up from the book he was reading. "Did you enjoy your repast gentlemen?"

Buck ignored the question, making a beeline for Vin. Silently he picked up the lax hand, gently caressing it as he leaned forward to whisper soothingly in the younger man's ear.

Chris glanced at Ezra, sharing an amused glance with the undercover agent, "It was okay for hospital food. He wake up yet?" he asked, nodding towards the bed.

"I am afraid he has not, though perhaps that is not entirely a negative event, considering the pain which undoubtedly awaits him. The nurse was in, she informed me as to what should be expected if he awakened," he explained in answer to Chris' questioning look.

"No...please," Vin mumbled as he began to wake up, pulling away from Buck's soothing touch. "Buck? I'm in the hospital," he stated with a relieved sigh. Damn, but he hated waking up like this, always thinking, if only for a minute, that he was back there; being tortured.

"You are," Buck softly confirmed, as he did after every treatment. "How are you feeling?"

"'m okay," Vin mumbled.

Buck smiled sadly, "Try again."

Vin sighed, it never worked and yet he always replied to the question the same way. "Hurts a bit," he finally, reluctantly, admitted.

"You want me to get the nurse? She could give you something."

"Not just yet, don't want to fall asleep again."

Buck knew that wasn't the real reason, but he didn't argue the point. A man had his pride after all and if Vin didn't want to admit to his fear of addiction, he wasn't going to force the issue. He glanced over at Chris and Ezra, "Got some extra company."

Vin turned his head, smiling at his friends, "Hey cowboy...Ez," he greeted. "Y'all been busy at the office?" He had been wondering where everybody was. He had been glad of Buck's presence each time he woke up, but this was the second morning he'd opened his eyes with only their resident rogue for company. He had been beginning to wonder if maybe the others were avoiding him. Maybe they thought he didn't deserve any sympathy after messing up so badly.

"Yeah, had a pretty good amount of paperwork to take care of and some meetings about Browner. We took our time with it, made sure we were thorough so there'd be no chance of him getting away with what he did," Chris explained. "Besides, your guard dog there wouldn't hardly let anybody else see you."

Vin smiled, relieved to know that it had only been work that had kept them away. "Yeah? So how'd ya get him to let ya in today?"

"Bribery and threats," Chris whispered conspiratorially.

"That usually works," Vin solemnly agreed. "You staying for a while?"

"Thought we might, that okay with you? Be nice to see you when you're not asleep," he added.

"I'd like that, and it'll give Buck somebody new to talk to," he teased, almost giddy with relief as he realized his friends had been to see him; he'd only slept through the visits.

"Actually Buck won't be here, I'm sending him home to get some rest."

"Oh," Vin quietly responded, his good mood fading a bit. Glancing at Buck, he silently cursed himself for not noticing sooner.

"I don't have to go Vin, I can stay if you want me to," Buck quickly offered.

"Nah, that's okay Bucklin, you look like you could use the rest. I'll have Ez and Chris here to keep me company."

"You sure? I don't really need to go," Buck tried again.

"You're coming back, aren't you?" Damn he hated that almost frantic tone his voice had taken on. He hadn't meant to let any of them know how important Buck's presence had become to him in the past couple of days.

"Of course I will, wild horses couldn't keep me away," Buck smiled down at him. His smile hiding the sadness he felt each time Vin reacted to something ordinary in a way that was anything but normal for him. "You get some rest while I'm gone," he softly instructed, as he absently brushed the hair from Vin's face. Get a grip Wilmington, he silently ordered himself as he fought the almost overwhelming urge to lean down and brush a soft kiss over those warm lips. With effort he straightened to his full height, knowing that Vin wasn't ready for anything beyond a soft caress of his stubbled cheek. Hell he wasn't even sure that was true, not having gotten the nerve to try it when Vin was awake. The closest he'd come was brushing the hair from his face and he could always claim he was only getting it out of the younger man's eyes if Vin questioned the action. Worried that if he lingered any longer he would lose the battle with himself, Buck turned and quietly left the room.

TBC

Sorry it took so long to post this chapter, the muses just didn't want to cooperate. Hope y'all liked it, please feed the muses with reviews.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I don't own the Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills

Disclaimer: I don't own the Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Slash, Angst

Rating: FRT

Lost

Chapter 18

Speaking quietly, the three men visited for a little while. It didn't take long, however, for Chris to notice Vin's increasing discomfort as he fidgeted in the bed. Fidgeted? That alone was enough to tell Chris how much pain the younger man must be in. Vin Tanner did not fidget,anybody who knew him knew that. "You okay cowboy? Want me to get the nurse?"

Vin shook his head. "I'm fine."

"There ain't no shame in taking something for the pain Vin, you don't have to always be tough."

"What the hell would you know about it Chris?" Vin growled.

Chris sighed, he had regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth, but it was too late now. The best thing he could do, was to use the thoughtless statement, try to turn it into a way to help Vin. "I know you're lying there in obvious pain and too damned stubborn to take something for it. Buck thinks you're afraid of becoming addicted, I don't agree. I think you've got this idea that you have to always be the tough one, and tough men don't admit when they're in pain. Ain't that right?"

Vin shot him a glare that would have had a weaker man searching for a change of shorts. "You son of a bitch," he growled. "Who the hell do you think you are? You think this is some kind of macho thing? Hell, I want something for the pain like you wouldn't believe, but I've seen what painkillers can do to a man and I won't let that happen to me."

"So instead you're going to lay here in pain?"

"My business if I do," Vin stubbornly insisted. Anybody who knew him would recognize by the set of his jaw that there was no point in arguing any further. As far as Vin was concerned the discussion was over.

"You're a stubborn bastard, you know that?"

Vin let out a chuff of air, "Hell you just now figuring that out Chris?"

The blond grinned, "No, I guess I'm not. You know I didn't really mean that crap?"

"Yeah I know," Vin replied with a small smile.

Ezra had listened to the argument with growing concern for the friendship between the two men. "Perhaps I could offer a means of assisting you with managing your pain sans the need for painkillers." He hoped that if he could help Vin to alleviate some of his pain, he could stave off any further arguments between his young friend and the blond, as well as helping Vin to feel better.

Vin gave him a quizzical look, "What ya got in mind Ez?"

"Have you ever heard of the practice of acupressure?"

"That anything like acupuncture?"

Ezra smiled, "It is indeed my friend. The simplest way to describe it…"

"Simplest? You sure you're Ezra P. Standish?" Chris couldn't resist teasing. He hoped to lighten the mood, making up for his earlier attitude.

Ezra scowled, "I am reasonably certain that I am in fact the person known as Ezra P. Standish. Contrary to popular misconceptions Mr. Larabee, I am capable of speaking clearly and simply. If I choose to avail myself of a more eloquent vocabulary than most employ it is not an indication of an inability to speak clearly, nor an inability to appreciate the simple things life offers one."

Chris shared an amused glance with Vin, "Yep, that's Ezra."

"Yep," Vin agreed, a grin spreading over his face.

"May I continue now?"

"Oh by all means, please continue Mr. Standish," Chris replied with a sweeping gesture.

"In fact Vin acupressure is essentially the same as acupuncture but without the needles," Ezra continued as though he'd never been interrupted.

"You really think it'll help?"

"I have seen it work, I'm sure it could help you too. Besides, what do you have to lose?"

"Good point," Vin had to admit. "You know anybody who knows how to do it?"

Ezra flashed him a grin, holding up his hands and wiggling his fingers.

Vin was surprised, though he supposed he shouldn't be. "When did you learn to do that?"

"Sometime ago," Ezra quietly replied. "I suffer from migraines, have done so for most of my life."

"Damn it Ezra, why didn't you ever tell me?" Chris demanded. Visions of the younger man being struck down by a migraine while undercover, leaving him vulnerable and unprotected, raced through his mind. "I never would have allowed you to work undercover if I had known you get migraines."

"Precisely why I never informed you," Ezra admitted. "It isn't a problem Chris, I assure you."

"Because of the acupressure?" Vin asked, diffusing the argument before it could turn into a battle royal.

"Exactly," Ezra smiled. "I was introduced to it on my second undercover assignment. A young lady by the name of Li Pong, a ward of the man I was investigating, found me lying on my bedroom floor in the grips of a particularly bad migraine." Ezra's voice took on a wistful quality as he spoke of Li Pong, leaving no doubt that the girl had meant something to him. "Recognizing the symptoms I was experiencing and realizing that her guardian would have no compunctions in using my so-called weakness against me, she used an acupressure technique to alleviate the pain. Afterwards, she took great pains to instruct me in the use of acupressure so that I might remove the pain myself in the event of future attacks. If you like I could give you a treatment now."

Vin thought about it for a moment, but he didn't have to think long. "Sure, thanks Ez."

Without another word, Ezra went to work on his friend. Applying pressure in key points on Vin's body, he soon had the younger man relaxing under his experienced touch as the pain receded into the background until it faded away entirely.

"Wow," Vin whispered, pain free for the first time in days. "Thanks Ez."

"You are most welcome Vin," Ezra accepted the thanks with a smile. "As I cannot be here with you all the time I will endeavor to teach the others the necessary technique."

"That'd be great Ezra, appreciate it." Feeling more relaxed than he had in days, without the drugged feeling from the sedative they gave him for his treatments, Vin slowly drifted into a deep sleep.

"What happened to Li Pong?" Chris quietly asked.

Ezra sucked in a breath at the unexpected question. Fool! You should have known he would pick up on the emotion in your voice. You should never speak of her, not until you can do so without showing the feelings you had towards her.

Chris watched the other man, his eyes narrowed in concern. "Ezra, you okay?"

"Of course," Ezra smoothly lied. "You wished to know about Li Pong?"

"If you don't mind," Chris confirmed.

"She was, as I said, the ward of the man I was investigating. At least that was what I believed at first."

"She wasn't his ward?"

"No, she was in fact his property."

Chris scowled at that, "Human trafficking."

"Of a sort, she wasn't sold to him in any type of organized operation. Her uncle, who was her guardian, had become addicted to heroin. He sold her to support his habit. Luckily, the man who bought her was not interested in the child she was, but in the woman she would become. As a result, he had not yet touched her, allowing her to maintain a certain innocence." Ezra paused, his voice becoming too thick to speak as the memories of his days in the role of Ethan Taylor flashed through his mind. Li Pong's presence in that house had been the only bright spot in his life during those dismal days. "It was a difficult assignment, the man I was after was not a pleasant person by any means. However, I had a job to carry out and I did so with admirable results."

Chris winced at the bitterness he heard in Ezra's voice. "You don't believe it was?"

Ezra glanced at him, wondering if he should answer that question honestly. Would Chris be angry for him or at him if he knew the full story? Ignoring his mother's oft taught maxim, that, appearances are everything, he decided to take a chance. "My superiors certainly believed it. They of course could not understand why the life of a young girl who consorted with criminals would be of any concern to me. As I said, Li Pong helped me with my migraines. I had, regrettably, not had much contact with the girl until that time she found me suffering in my room. She had been sent to inform me that supper was about to be served. When she found me, she quickly set about helping me. I have never understood why she cared, but she was well aware that the man I was investigating would see the migraine as a weakness. Such a belief could have very well gotten me killed by the man. Over the course of the next few weeks, Li Pong taught me how to help myself when it came to the migraines. Her desire to aid me, did not go unnoticed by her owner," he nearly spat the word. "Of course, being the type of man he was, he assumed there was something of a sexual nature occurring between us. As if I would ever do anything with a child and while Li Pong was nearly a woman, she was not quite grown. There was no way I intended to take advantage of her innocence."

He hated to hear the pain in his undercover agent's voice; he could feel the anger rising towards those who had caused it. "What did he do to her?" he quietly asked, barely controlling his anger.

Ezra flinched, hearing the anger in Chris' voice, and misunderstanding it. "He had her stripped and suspended by her wrists. He then used a whip to teach her a lesson, marking her tender skin with cruel welts. As a punishment for me, he insisted that I witness her whipping. It was the first time I was forced to stand by while an innocent was hurt with no way of stopping it, lest I blow my own cover, wasting the government's money and time in the process. She was a remarkable girl. Even after what he did to her, knowing I did nothing to stop him, she still came to me when she realized that she had found the piece of damning information I needed. Oh yes," he smiled, seeing the surprised look on Chris' face, "she had realized I wasn't who I claimed to be. That is why I was amazed when she came to me only a week after her beating with the information I needed. Thanks to Li Pong we were able to shut down his operation." He looked away, hiding his shame from one of the few men he admired. "Her thanks for the help she had given, including saving my life by not using my identity as a means to save herself, was a bullet in the heart."

"Damn Ezra, that's rough," Chris said, sympathetically.

"Don't waste your sympathy on me Chris, save it for those who deserve it." Standing up, he headed for the door, suddenly needing some air. Turning back, he looked at the young man in the bed. "I could have killed him, I had the chance. I didn't though, do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because it would have been cold blooded murder. So I did the right thing, and as a result two of the finest people I've ever known were forced to suffer."

"Two?" Chris asked in confusion.

"Li Pong, though aside from the beating, her suffering was short-lived as the bullet killed her instantly."

"Who else?" he asked when Ezra didn't continue.

"The answer to that question lies in the identity of the man I was investigating; Rupert Browner." Berating himself for a coward, Ezra nevertheless made a hasty exit after dropping his bombshell.

TBC

Well that was a surprise to me too. ;) That Ezra is just too good at keeping secrets. Hope y'all liked it. Please feed the muse with reviews.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I don't own the Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warning: Slash, Angst

Rating: FRT

Lost

Chapter 19

Chris stared at the door Ezra had just walked through, shocked by his revelation. He wanted to go after him, but, even before he was out of his seat, he realized he couldn't. He had promised Buck that Vin wouldn't be left alone, he couldn't break that promise. Not if he wanted Buck to ever get any rest again. With a heavy sigh, he sank back into his chair, scrubbing a hand over his face. Ezra had investigated Browner before this? Wait a minute! If Browner was convicted for the earlier crimes he'd committed, he should have still been in prison. What was he doing out? Reaching for the phone on the bedside table, he quickly phoned the office. He might not be able to go after Ezra yet, but there was something he could do.

"ATF, Agent Dunne speaking."

Chris smiled, "JD, you're just the man I'm looking for."

"Hey Chris, how's Vin? Did you convince Buck to go home?"

"Vin's doing fine JD and yeah Buck went home for a while. He should be at the office in a few hours. I wouldn't count on him staying long though. Look JD, that isn't why I called. I need you to do something for me."

"Sure Chris, what ya need?" JD quickly asked, always eager to help the man in black.

"I want you to look into Rupert Browner. Seems he was investigated a few years ago by the FBI and I'm wondering if he was convicted for starters. If he was convicted then I want to know what he's doing out of prison?"

JD nodded as he made notes, already thinking about how to find out who was behind Browner's early release, if that was what had happened. "Ezra involved in the FBI case?" he asked, quickly putting two and two together.

"Yeah he was," Chris confirmed. "JD, I don't want you telling anybody else about this. Ezra's already feeling guilty, he doesn't need everybody knowing, maybe making him feel more guilty."

"You mean Buck?"

Chris smiled, sometimes he forgot that JD wasn't nearly as naive as he had been when he'd first joined the team. "Yeah. Buck's feeling damned protective of Vin right now, he'd likely react badly."

"Okay, I'll get right on it Chris. You want me to call you when I find the information, or wait until you're back at the office?"

Chris thought about it for a moment. On the one hand, he'd like some answers, the sooner the better, on the other hand, if JD called him there were better odds that somebody would overhear him. "You can tell me when I come back to the office JD, thanks."

"Sure thing Chris. Bye." Hanging up the phone, JD immediately started searching on his computer for the information he needed. Three hours later, he had more questions than answers, but at least it was a start. As he read, his trepidation increased. Damn, he really didn't want to have to tell Chris about this. He didn't realize he'd spoken out loud until a voice at his side startled him from his thoughts.

"Mess up a report kid?" Buck asked with a smile.

"Shit Buck! Don't sneak up on me like that," he admonished the older agent as he quickly changed the screen on his computer. Thankfully Buck wasn't at the right angle to read what was on the screen.

"Sorry," Buck held up his hands, surprised by JD's fierce reaction. "So, did you mess up a report?"

"Yeah, something like that," JD gratefully confirmed the cover Buck had unknowingly supplied.

"Well don't worry about Chris, he's not really that mean. Just make sure he's had his coffee before you tell him," Buck advised.

JD grinned at that, "Thanks Buck. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, wouldn't even be here if old mother hen Larabee hadn't made me leave the hospital."

"Can I tell him you said that?" JD asked, his eyes twinkling mischieviously.

"I thought you were my friend JD," Buck mock complained.

"Oh I am, that's why I won't tell him...for a price."

Buck sighed, "What's it gonna cost me?"

"Let me spend a few hours with Vin tomorrow while you go get some rest."

"It's a conspiracy ain't it? Y'all have a meeting about this?"

"No Buck, but we're all worried about you. Besides Vin's my friend too, I'd like to spend a little time with him; see for myself that he's doing better."

Buck couldn't resist the heartfelt words, and he had to admit he did feel better now that he'd had some proper rest in a bed instead of a chair. "It's a deal JD, come by about three o'clock."

"Really?" JD asked. He was surprised, he'd expected it to take a lot more than that. "Thanks Buck."

"Nah JD, thank you." Glancing around the room, he noticed for the first time that nobody else was in the office. "I know where Chris and Ezra are, where's Josiah and Nathan?"

"Josiah's helping team five with a profile and Nathan's teaching a workshop on advanced first-aid techniques. Not much going on now that we got the reports on Browner done."

"Well then, how about you and me go grab a late lunch?"

JD glanced at the clock, surprised by the time. "I didn't even realize what time it was. Lunch sounds good," JD replied. Saving the data he'd found, he shut off his computer and stood up, grabbing his hat.

"We have got to get you a decent hat boy," Buck grinned.

"There isn't anything wrong with my hat Buck."

Ezra had driven aimlessly after leaving the hospital, his mind flooded with memories of Li Pong. It had been one of the worst assignments he'd ever endured. Especially difficult had been standing by and watching while that animal beat the girl for imagined transgressions. How he had wished he could come to her aid. To do so, however, would have been a pointless gesture. The moment he had attempted to help her, Browner would have killed them both. The only thing that would have accomplished, would have been to bring an end to Li Pong's short life a week earlier.

He blinked in surprise as he brought his car to a stop in Chris' driveway. How had he ended up here? Why had he come here? Ezra was about to turn the Jag around when he caught sight of the horses trotting around the corral. One horse wasn't trotting though, his own horse stood next to the fence, staring at him. "Perhaps you're right my friend," he softly spoke. Applying the parking brake, he turned the motor off and climbed from the car. Walking into the barn, he quickly returned, saddle in hand. With efficient movements, he soon had Chaucer saddled and ready. Throwing himself into the saddle, he rode off towards the hills surrounding Chris' ranch.

Chris looked up as the door opened. "Hey Buck."

Buck eyed his old friend, wondering what was going on. Though Chris had masked it quickly, for a second there had been a look of disappointment on his face. "Expecting somebody else?"

"Why do ya ask that?"

"That look on your face when I walked in here."

"Don't know what you're talking about Buck."

"Sure you don't," Buck scoffed. "Where's Ezra?"

"He had some errands to run, I told him to go on," Chris quickly covered.

"Okay. Vin been asleep all this time?" His curiosity over Ezra's whereabouts quickly replaced by concern for the young man lying in the bed.

"Most of it."

"Really? He's never been able to sleep this long at a stretch after a treatment. You didn't talk him into accepting the painkillers did you?"

"No, tried to but he wasn't going for it. Actually it was Ezra that came up with the solution."

Sitting down on the other side of Vin's bed, he absently picked up the sharpshooter's hand, rubbing his thumb over the knuckles. "What solution is that?"

"Acupressure, he knows how to use it. By the time he was done, Vin was in a lot less pain and able to sleep."

"That's great," Buck enthused. "I'll have to get him to show me how to do it."

"He's already planning on it, along with anybody else on the team that wants to learn." Chris stood, stretching muscles made stiff from hours of sitting in the uncomfortable chair. "I think I'm gonna go, got some things to take care of. Tell Vin I'll see him later."

"Okay Chris," Buck responded automatically. It was obvious, even to those who didn't know the man, that he wasn't really paying attention to Chris, his focus fully on the man in the bed.

Smiling affectionately, Chris patted the larger man on the back and quietly left the room. Hoping that Ezra might have ended up back at the office, he made his way there. Besides, he needed to find out what JD had discovered about Browner.

JD looked up when the elevator dinged, somehow he knew it would be Chris. A moment later he was proven right as the blond walked through the door. Motioning for JD to follow him, Chris strode quickly to his private office. JD followed, closing the door behind him.

"What did you find out JD?" Chris asked as he took his seat.

JD swallowed, wetting dry lips. "You won't like it," he warned.

"Damn," Chris muttered, he'd had a bad feeling ever since he'd first realized Browner should still be locked up. "Let me have it JD."

"Browner was convicted of illegal trafficking in weapons and murder, he was sentenced to life in prison, eligible for parole in twenty-five years."

"So what the hell is he doing out?" Chris growled.

"I haven't found out yet. According to what I could find, Rupert Browner was killed in prison three months after entering it. There's more Chris," he went on before his boss could interrupt. "Browner's previous record didn't show up when we ran his prints. They don't match, so I did some checking, compared the prints myself. It's definitely the same man, but his prints now don't show any record, not even a parking ticket."

"JD, are you telling me that somebody in the system helped Browner to escape? Is still helping him?"

"Looks that way," JD reluctantly confirmed. He knew how Chris felt, nobody in law enforcement liked to hear of a brother officer turning bad. They all knew it happened, but nobody liked to think about it, some even going so far as to turn a blind eye to the reality.

"Any idea who?"

"Not yet, but I just started looking."

Chris turned his back on the younger man, staring out the window at the city skyline. A bad agent, he'd been afraid when he set JD to looking into it, that this would be the result, He had hoped it wouldn't be; he should have known better. Damn it! How was he going to tell Ezra that his young friend's death truly had been for nothing? What was it going to do to the man, already feeling guilty, when he was told the truth of the situation? Spinning his chair around, he faced JD. "This doesn't go any further," he ordered. "I need to tell Ezra before we tell the rest of the team."

"Alright Chris. You want me to keep looking into it?"

"Yeah, but be careful. We don't want to tip anybody off."

"Got it," JD nodded.

"Did Ezra come by the office?"

"No, I haven't seen him since this morning."

"Okay. It's almost five, why don't you knock off for the night?"

"I thought I'd stay, do a little more checking. Besides if I'm the only one here, nobody will know I'm checking."

"Good point JD. I'm going to take off, see if I can track Ezra down. If he comes by, give me a call will you?"

"Sure thing Chris."

Having made a decision, Chris wasted no time in hanging around the office. Two hours later, he had exhausted every possibilty as to Ezra's location. Frustrated and worried, he finally turned his truck towards the ranch. Pulling into the driveway, his eyes widened in surprise. Parking in his usual spot, he climbed from the truck and headed into the house. It only took a few minutes to realize that Ezra wasn't anywhere inside the sprawling ranch house. Stepping onto the porch, he looked towards the corral. For the first time since he'd pulled into the drive, he noticed that one of the horses was missing. Quickly saddling his own mount, he took off in search of his undercover agent.

He wasn't nearly the tracker Vin was, but he wasn't helpless either; it didn't take him long to find Ezra's trail. Following the clear tracks, he soon found the smaller man sitting next to the mountain lake nestled in the hills near his ranch. "Mind if I join you?"

Ezra looked up, shading his eyes from the late afternoon sun, at his boss. "Of course," he motioned to the ground next to where he sat.

"Been up here long?"

"I am not certain," Ezra admitted.

Chris raised an eyebrow at that, "No?"

"I have not been paying attention to the time."

"Oh. Are you okay?"

"I am not the one lying in a hospital bed."

"Answer the question Ez."

"I am perfectly fine Mr. Larabee. If you came to tell me I'm fired, I will save you the time..."

"Whoa, hold it right there Ezra. I'm not firing you, why would I?"

"I could have prevented Vin's injuries if I had killed Browner when I had the chance."

"You couldn't do that Ezra, it would've been murder."

"Yes it would have, but I'm sure I could have escaped punishment. Aside from that, I am guilty of not keeping you properly informed. I should have told you, the moment Browner's name came up, what I knew about him."

"You should have, but it really wouldn't have changed anything. You didn't know he was involved until after Vin was taken, so how would it have helped?"

"I could have given you insight into the man's nature," Ezra replied. Perhaps Chris, for reasons he couldn't fathom, was willing to let him off the hook, but he wasn't letting himself off.

"You know we could sit here and debate this all night and nothing would change. Browner still kidnapped Vin, he still hurt him. Frankly I'd rather spend my time doing something constructive."

"Constructive?"

"Ezra, why is Browner out of prison?"

Ezra stared at him, mouth agape. "I never even...I apologize Chris, I was so busy wallowing in my own guilt it never occured to me to question his presence. I presume that if you're asking, you already have the answer."

"Not all of it," Chris acknowledged. Quickly he outlined what JD had discovered.

"Tell JD to focus on Dan Barnes."

"Any particular reason?"

"He was the first to make accusations concerning my integrity. It has been my experience that it is quite often the most vocal accuser of the innocent who is in fact the guilty party."

"You think Browner paid him off?"

"Perhaps, or he may simply have discovered damaging information about the man."

"Alright, we'll have JD pay special attention to him. I plan to tell Buck and Vin what's happening tomorrow."

"I would expect nothing less," Ezra acknowledged.

"I don't want you there when I do."

"You believe Buck will react badly?"

"You know how he gets when somebody he cares about is threatened. It won't take him long to calm down, and once he does he'll realize that you didn't do anything wrong. I just think it'd be best if you weren't around until he does calm down."

"Probably a wise decision."

"Don't worry about it Ez, they won't either of them blame you for what Browner did to Vin," Chris assured the younger man.

"I hope you are correct in your estimation." For several minutes, neither man spoke, each lost in his own thoughts. "Thank you for coming after me," Ezra spoke uncertainly.

"Would have come after you right away, but I promised Buck not to leave Vin alone. You know he slept all afternoon, Buck said he's never slept that long after a treatment. You did good Ezra," he praised the younger man. The look of pleasure on Ezra's face, brought a smile to his own. It wasn't much, but he was glad that his words had brought the green-eyed agent some bit of happiness. Standing up, he brushed the dirt from the seat of his pants. "Come on Ez," he offered a hand up to the other man, writing the unexpected tingle off as a return of circulation to his hand. "We should get back before it gets dark."

TBC

Hope y'all liked this chapter. I know not much on Buck and Vin here, don't worry they won't be forgotten. This is still their story. Please feed the muse with reviews.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I don't own The Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Slash,

Rating: FRT

Lost

Chapter 20

Vin paced the small hospital room, impatiently waiting for the doctor to arrive with his discharge papers. It was amazing how much he had healed in just the last few days. Ever since Ezra taught the rest of the team how to use acupressure to help him with the pain, his recovery had improved. The doctor said it was because he was finally able to get the healing sleep his body needed. Vin supposed that made sense, he didn't really care, just as long as he was being released from the hospital.

Buck watched him pacing, an affectionate smile on his face. He knew how much Vin hated being confined to the hospital, hell they all knew about it. Glancing at his watch, he saw that it was nearly 9:00 a.m., and he knew the doctor would be here soon. Standing up, he crossed the small space, coming up behind Vin and placing his hands on the younger man's shoulders. "He'll be here soon Vin, but you need to calm down," he spoke softly into Vin's ear.

"I'm calm Buck, just hate waiting."

Buck smiled as Vin unconsciously leaned into his touch. "I know ya do, but if the doc gets here and your blood pressure is up he might not let you go."

"Like hell," Vin snapped, turning to face Buck. He glared at the amused grin on his friend's face, "It ain't funny Bucklin."

"Oh, of course it's not," Buck calmly responded.

"You don't think he'd really keep me here, do ya?" Vin nervously asked.

"No I don't, but it isn't good for you to be pacing around here and setting yourself on edge. You're still healing Vin, just cause they're letting you go home doesn't mean you can go back to your normal day to day life."

Vin's shoulders dropped, defeated by Buck's words. Sinking onto the bed, he sat looking at his hands, the end of each finger still covered in a bandage. "I know, hell I can't even feed myself proper with these," he complained. "I'm sorry Buck, I shouldn't be taking this out on you." He did feel bad about snapping, it wasn't Buck's fault that he'd been hurt and the other man had been great about helping him. Vin understood why, but it didn't really matter why, the point was he'd been here for him the whole time. Had helped him with his meals, laughing and telling stories the whole time, so that Vin barely realized he was being fed. Nobody else had the knack for doing that, they all tried, but none of them seemed to be able to treat it as naturally as Buck did.

Josiah was a good man, but he had such a need for penance that he unintentionally gave an air of penance, or maybe service was a better word to helping. Whatever the word, it invariably left Vin feeling uncomfortable, reminding him of his dependence on the charity of others following his mother's death. Nathan on the other hand, inwardly Vin chuffed, he saw only that it was necessary for Vin to have help and couldn't understand why Vin couldn't just accept it. It never failed that if Nathan tried to help him, with anything, they would both become angry and exasperated.

The others weren't much better, JD was clearly uncomfortable, probably reminded him of watching his mother dying of cancer. The result of his discomfort was that Vin would end up feeling guilty for needing the help, in turn becoming angry that he needed anything. Chris was useless at helping, it wasn't that he didn't want to, Vin knew that. The problem was that Chris would get angry, every time he saw Vin's relative helplessness, and that anger would spill over into his attempts to help. Vin knew it wasn't him that was causing Chris' anger. It was Browner and the fact that he should have been locked up in prison, not out terrorizing young girls and torturing one of his friends, that was making Chris angry.

Vin sighed, he had no idea how Ezra would have done. Since telling Chris about Browner, he hadn't been back to the hospital. At least not that Vin was aware of, knowing Ezra he might have been by to check on him when he knew he'd be asleep. He wished his friend would talk to him, give him the chance to let him know he didn't need to feel guilty. God knew he didn't blame Ezra for what Browner had done. Unfortunately Ezra blamed himself enough for them both. He wondered if..."Hey Buck, is Ezra still working mostly from home?"

"Yeah," Buck confirmed. Chris had told them yesterday that the undercover agent was barely in the office, his guilt over Browner making him uncomfortable around the rest of them.

"You think we could stop by there on the way home?"

Buck smiled, not only at the idea, but at the sound of Vin calling his place home. Stop it Wilmington, he's just staying with you until he's completely healed. "Sure, that's a good idea Vin." Just then the doctor walked into the room. After a short exam and a few instructions, he signed the discharge papers. Clapping Vin on the shoulder, he expressed his wishes not to see the young man again for a while and said good-bye.

Vin headed for the door, almost before the doctor was through it, "Let's get out of here Buck."

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

Vin turned, his face hardening at the sight of the wheelchair Buck was leaning on. "I ain't riding in that thing."

"You are if you want out of here," Buck countered. "Aw, come on Vin, you know it's hospital policy. I tell you what, if you ride out in the wheelchair, I'll stop at Don Juan's and get lunch to take home with us."

"Don Juan's? You gonna let me have a Dos Equi with lunch?"

"I shouldn't, but yeah I'll grab a six pack," Buck quickly gave in. "You can only have one with lunch though, no more."

Vin grinned, quickly settling into the wheelchair. "What are we waiting for?" he asked, glancing up at Buck and giving him a wink.

"Beats me," Buck returned.

"Stop at Ezra's first though, okay?"

"Already planned to."

Ezra sat at his computer, checking through the information JD had found. Checking the information, against his own sources, he was soon convinced they were on the right track. The problem was, everything they were finding was circumstantial. Given his own reputation with the FBI, they weren't likely to launch an investigation into Barnes on his say so, no matter how much circumstantial evidence he presented them with. The sound of his doorbell brought him out of his thoughts. Glancing at his watch, he saw that it was too early to be Chris. The blond had taken to stopping by during lunch each day, usually with some tempting meal in his hands. Ezra smiled, it had become something he looked forward to, even if Chris would, without a doubt, bring up his avoidance of the office. Looking through the peephole, he sighed heavily when he saw who stood outside his door. For a moment he considered not letting them in, the thought quickly passing. He owed Vin the chance to express his feelings over Ezra's failure to rid the world of Browner years ago. Bracing himself for what he was sure was coming, he swung open the door. "Gentlemen, to what do I owe this visit?"

"We need to talk Ez," Vin rasped.

"Certainly Mr. Tanner, won't you both come in," he offered, stepping aside. "Mr. Wilmington, it's a pleasure to see you."

Vin sighed, so back to formality was it? "It's Vin, not Mr. Tanner," he firmly corrected his friend.

"As you wish. What is it you wish to discuss?"

"I wanted to say thanks for starters."

Ezra stared at him, stunned by his words. "Ththanks? I don't understand."

"That acupressure trick of your's," Vin explained. "The doctor says me sleeping better is why I finally started healing enough for him to let me go home."

"You're quite welcome my fr...Vin."

"I am your friend Ezra, ya don't have to doubt that."

"Am I? Didn't they tell you of my failure to prevent Browner's continued preying upon the innocent?"

"They told me what you went through to get that man caught and sent to prison. Told me too, that somebody helped him get out and that's how he ended up in Denver. You didn't help him get out did ya?"

"Of course not," Ezra immediately replied. Clearly he was offended by the question.

"Then why should I blame you for what Browner did to me?"

"If I had..."

"Bullshit Ezra! What was it you told me when I was beating myself up over Eli Joe killing that man to frame me for murder?"

Ezra closed his eyes, he knew what Vin was getting at. "Considering my current feelings, I'm surprised you didn't hit me."

"For saying the truth? You were right Ez, I knew it as soon as ya said it. It wasn't my fault what Eli Joe did. Yes, I had the chance to kill him only a couple of days before that. Had him in my sights, but no matter what the wanted poster said, it would've been murder and we both know it. You said that, and these were your exact words; If good men become the very thing they are fighting to protect others from, we will soon have no good men left. Ya made me see that it wasn't my fault that Eli Joe did what he did, just like it ain't your fault what Browner did. Please Ezra, I don't want to lose your friendship. I don't have so many friends that I'm willing to give even one of them up."

Ezra finally opened his eyes, looking at Vin through vision blurred by unshed tears. "You have always had my friendship, I wasn't certain I had your's."

"Always," Vin responded, grasping Ezra's forearm to seal his vow.

"What of you Mr. Wilmington?"

"Oh hell Ezra, I ain't got any problem with you. Vin's right, it isn't your fault what Browner did, or that he got out of prison somehow." Buck didn't mention his first reaction, he was in fact ashamed that he had blamed Ezra, even if was only for less than an hour.

"That is gratifying to know."

"We do need to go soon though, got to get Vin's prescriptions filled before we go to my place."

"I admit I am surprised that Chris didn't object to Vin staying with you rather than at the ranch," Ezra commented.

"Well you know Chris has so much to do that he wouldn't be able to be home much and I need enough help that staying at Buck's makes more sense." Vin explained, not mentioning how much more at ease he felt when Buck helped him, or how uncomfortable he became when Chris helped, or tried to help.

"Chris mentioned that Buck had decided to take some vacation time."

"Yeah, I got some extra time accumulated so I figured what better way to use it," Buck commented.

"Indeed."

Now that the situation with Ezra had been resolved, the three of them relaxed considerably. For the next half hour, the undercover agent caught Vin and Buck up on the investigation so far. Another half hour was spent, kicking ideas back and forth as they tried to find a way to get the hard evidence they needed against Barnes.

"Excuse me," Ezra stood as the doorbell sounded. Glancing at his watch, he knew this time it would be Chris at his door. Opening the door, he smiled, "What are we having for lunch today Chris?"

"Got us something from Fuji's today," Chris grinned. The look of surprise on Ezra's face was worth the extra expense of the Japanese restaurant.

"I was not aware you were familiar with Fuji," Ezra finally spoke, once he recovered from the surprise.

"I do eat something besides steak and potatoes Ezra. You gonna let me in, or are we eating on the doorstep today?"

Ezra blushed, his mother would be so ashamed of him. Imagine, letting such a small surprise throw him off enough to make him forget his manners. "Pardon me, please come in."

"Don't mind if I do," Chris accepted with a smile. "Vin, Buck, wasn't expecting to see you here."

"Thought we'd stop by, clear the air with Ez," Vin explained. "We been going over the information y'all have about Barnes and Browner."

"Yeah? You got any ideas about getting some hard evidence?"

"Nah, sorry."

"Don't worry about it, we'll come up with something."

"You bet we will," Buck enthusiastically agreed. "Right now I think what we best come up with, is lunch, you ready to go Vin?"

Vin stood up, "Yep." As he reached the door, a stray thought stopped him in his tracks.

"Vin?" Buck called, concerned by the way he froze up.

"Hey Chris, everybody thinks Browner is dead, right?" Vin asked as he turned to face the room.

"That's right, why?"

"I was just thinking, they say dead men tell no tales, what if we could prove them wrong?"

A wolfish grin spread over Chris' face, the implications of Vin's question quickly becoming apparent to him. "You know that's not a half bad idea cowboy. I'll have to see what I can do about it."

"See y'all later, come on Buck."

Later, as they sat on Buck's front porch, enjoying their lunch, Buck brought Vin's words to Chris up. "So, you gonna tell me what that meant?

"Got to be more specific than that Bucklin."

Buck gave him a mock glare, "You know what I mean. That dead men tell no tales stuff, what were you getting at?"

"Best if I don't tell ya," Vin mysteriously replied.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Come on Buck, you ain't that stupid. You know all about plausible deniability, you couldn't be in the Seals and not know about it."

"Likely to get Chris in trouble?"

"Not unless too many people know about it."

"Understood...I ever tell you about some of the things Chris got up to in the Seals?" Buck asked, by way of changing the subject.

Vin chuckled, whenever Buck asked a question like that a good story was bound to follow. "Like what?" he dutifully asked.

"I'm glad you asked," and with that Buck was off on one of his wonderful stories. "Well, ya know that Sarah's daddy was in the Navy too?" Receiving a nod from the younger man, Buck continued. "He didn't approve any of Chris, thought he wasn't good enough for Sarah. He was right," Buck added with a grin. "Sarah though, well that woman had a mind of her own, like most Irish girls do. She wasn't about to let any man, not even her father, tell her who to love and who not to love. Thing was, she didn't much care for Chris' attitude either. She half suspected, and was probably right, that a good part of why Larabee wanted to date her was cause her daddy didn't approve. She didn't much cotton to the idea of being the rope in their tug-o-war and she figured to let them both know it. She convinced Chris that he had finally convinced her into going to the next level in their relationship. I think she knew all along that Chris was the one for her, but she wanted him to want her for herself, not just a way to piss her father off. Anyway, she had Chris real worked up, just from talking to him over the phone. Then she tells him that she's really mad at her father for trying to run her life and she wants to symbolically show him that he can't control her. The best way to do this, she tells Chris, is to get together in his office. They won't do anything much there, just get things started so to speak, then they'd go somewhere more comfortable. Now Sarah was a hell of a woman, and damned smart. Too smart for Chris and her old man, that's for sure." Buck smiled as Vin let loose a chuckle at that. "She knew old Chris wasn't really a bad guy, and she knew that he'd be sitting there in that office waiting for her, seeing all those family pictures her father had in his office..."

"She figured he'd start having second thoughts?"

"Exactly. Oh she had him pegged alright, by the time that office door opened, Chris had decided that he couldn't do it. Sarah was too good of a person and she didn't deserve to be used as a means of getting back at her father. He had his back to the door when it opened, and he didn't even turn around, just started talking. Sarah, he says, I really care about you, too much to be with you right now. I'm sorry honey, but I haven't been completely honest with you. I been going out with you to get at your dad and that wasn't right. I just thank God that I came to my senses before it went too far and I hope that you'll give me another chance. A chance to get to really know you, for the right reasons. It was about that time he turned around and of course it wasn't Sarah standing there, it was her father."

"Damn, what'd he do?"

"Well he might've thrown Chris out that window, but about that time Sarah stepped out of the closet. He sure was mad, asked Sarah if she had heard what Chris had admitted to? Did she see now that he was right about him? Sarah waited for him to stop ranting and then she walked up to her father and slapped him. Before he could say anything to that, she slapped Chris too. Then she let them both have it. Told them both they were a couple of pig-headed fools and that she could and would date whomever she pleased. She also pointed out to her father that he wasn't right about Chris, because if he had been, Chris would never have had second thoughts about his plan to get back at the Admiral."

"Bet he didn't like that any."

"No, he didn't, but he wasn't a bad man, just harsh and very protective of his only daughter. After he thought about it, he admitted that she was right and as long as Chris was dating her for the right reasons, he wouldn't interfere. Then he made sure that Larabee knew what would happen, and he didn't spare any of the details, if he ever did anything to hurt that little girl."

"How long after that did it take them to get married?"

"Well it was only about eight months after that first real date, so about nine months after that night in the office."

"Wait a minute, it took Chris a month to get that first date?"

"Well it wouldn't have, but the Admiral thought he couldn't let Chris breaking into his office go without a word. He confined him to the base for the next month, kept him busy cleaning the toilets with a toothbrush."

Vin threw his head back in laughter, "Damn, Chris must've hated that."

"Oh he did, but he didn't have much choice. Besides it could have been worse and he knew it, the Admiral could have put him in the stockade for a month or more."

Vin smiled as he looked down at his plate, "You did it again."

"Did what?"

"Fed me a meal and I didn't even notice. I don't know how ya do it, but I appreciate it."

"Just don't notice anything else with me in the room," Buck teased.

"Might be," Vin agreed.

Buck stared at Vin, surprised by the serious look in the younger man's eyes. The look he saw there, convinced him that now might be the time to ask something he'd been wanting to for a while. "Vin...would you," he paused, licking suddenly dry lips. He couldn't believe how nervous he was, he hadn't been this nervous since, hell he didn't think he'd ever been this nervous. "I was wondering, when them bandages come off, would you join me for dinner?"

"On one condition."

"Anything," Buck quickly agreed.

"We go dancing after dinner," Vin gave his condition, his eyes sparkling.

"Dancing?" Buck asked. He'd been so sure the condition would be something else, something serious, that it took him a moment to say anything else. "I can do dancing," he finally agreed, a grin spreading over his face.

"Good, it's a date then."

TBC

Hope y'all liked it. Please feed the muse with reviews.


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I don't own The Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Slash, Violence, Angst

Rating: FRT

Lost

Chapter 21

"Everything ready JD?" Chris asked. A nod from JD brought a feral grin to Chris' face as he pushed open the door to the interrogation room. Tossing the file he held on the table, Chris leaned on it and stared at the suspect. "Hello Rupert," his calm voice sounding suspiciously like a growl.

Rupert Browner calmly returned the stare, unflinching in the face of this man's obvious intimidation attempt. "I'm not answering any questions without my lawyer."

"Wrong."

"I know my rights Agent Larabee, you can't question..."

"Rights? You have no rights Rupert...you're dead, remember?"

"Obviously I am not dead, therefore I have rights," Browner countered.

Chris straightened to his full six foot height as he stared down at the living dead man before him. "I want the name or names of whoever helped in your escape, fake death and continued freedom."

Browner shot him a disdainful look, "I'm afraid I don't remember."

"I'd suggest you work on the memory or I'll arrange for your death to become a bit more permanent."

Browner's eyes drifted to the security cameras in the room, "Thank you Agent Larabee, you've just guaranteed my release."

"Do you really think I'm that stupid Rupert? Those cameras aren't working, neither are any of the recording devices in the room. I'm afraid they've suffered a glitch, something I have my best computer expert working on now."

"You don't scare me," Browner tried to bluff. Between the space of one breath and the next, Larabee was around the table and Rupert was in a classic headlock.

"Something you should know about me Rupert," Chris voiced in a deadly whisper. "I was in the Seals, I know at least a dozen ways to silently kill a man and half a dozen to dispose of the body so that it will never be found."

Rupert Browner swallowed hard, sweat beginning to bead on his forehead. "What is it you wish to know Agent Larabee?" he asked, as calmly as he could manage. Ruthless and greedy he might be, but he wasn't stupid.

"Not much Rupert, just the names of anybody who helped in your escape, faking your death and your continued freedom. I also want the details of how it was done."

"I was helped..."

"Ah, ah, ah, not yet. First we have to set up a camera, we don't want any faulty memories to mess up the trial later on." Stepping to the door, he opened it, allowing JD into the room, a digital video camera and tripod in his hands. "Now," he continued as he shut the door, "when Agent Dunne has the camera ready we can begin. And Rupert, any deviation from what we discussed will result in the disc being destroyed and our earlier discussion becoming reality."

"I understand," Rupert solemnly acknowledged.

Getting the signal from JD, Chris sat down opposite Browner. He began with the date and who he was speaking to, before diving into the questions. "Now for the record, would you state your name?"

"Rupert Browner."

"Mr. Browner, you were convicted ten years ago of murder, extortion and weapons charges, correct?" 

"You know it is," Browner scowled.

"What was your sentence?"

"There was more than one, but it amounted to life with no chance of parole."

"Then how is it Mr. Browner, that you came to be living in Denver, Colorado only ten years later, freely operating a business?"

"I escaped."

"Could you explain to me, how that occurred?"

"Certainly, I never entered prison. I paid another man to serve my sentence, assuring him that he would be allowed to escape within a few weeks of becoming incarcerated. I was aided in this deception by Agent Dan Barnes of the FBI. Agent Barnes falsified the records so that this other man's fingerprints and picture would become a part of my file. Thus when the prison officials checked his prints, it would of course tell them he was me. What the man was not told, was that his escape would be accomplished through death. Once he was dead, I would be free to move about the country and I wouldn't even need to change my name. Agent Barnes has ran interference, for a cost, when needed in the intervening years."

"I see, was Agent Barnes aware of your business enterprises in the state of Colorado?"

"Of course he was, he even, sampled some of the merchandise on occasion."

"I think that will be enough," Chris decided.

JD turned off the camera and quickly left the room.

"Thank you for your cooperation Mr. Browner. We will of course need any documentation you have to support your story."

"That won't be a problem," Browner assured him.

"Good, you just write down where we can find it and give us written permission to retrieve what we need, without a search warrant." Sliding a piece of paper and a pen across the table, Chris sat back and waited for Browner to comply.

Without a word of protest Rupert Browner gave the man sitting across the table from him, everything he asked for. He had quickly come to the conclusion that his only chance for survival would be dependent upon his cooperation with this man.

Chris pocketed the paper as he pushed himself to his feet. "Thank you Rupert, somebody will escort you back to your cell shortly."

"What happens to me now?"

"You'll be tried for the kidnapping and assault of Agent Tanner."

Rupert could practically hear the 'unless' that hung unspoken in the air. "Unless I do what, precisely?"

"You testify against Agent Barnes and you'll be returned to Georgia to serve out your original sentence. Refuse and, you'll be tried for your actions against Agent Tanner. I'm sure I don't have to explain to you how prison guards view men who have hurt a fellow officer."

"I would be happy to assist you in bringing Agent Barnes to justice," Browner smiled.

"I thought that's what you'd say. I'll make the arrangements." With those words, Chris opened the door and left the room.

Vin sat on Buck's back deck, curled up on the porch swing. To anybody watching him it would seem he was enjoying the spectacular view from the deck. Buck knew better, he was certain Vin didn't even see the mountains in the distance. Today had been Vin's first visit with the department shrink, it wasn't hard to see that it hadn't gone well. Sighing heavily, he quietly approached the swing. "Mind if I join you?" His question was met with silence, though Vin did shift his legs, making room for him. Sitting down, he drew Vin's feet into his lap without a word. "Want to talk about it?"

Swinging his feet to the floor, he sat up and grabbed one of the beers Buck carried. "Nothing to talk about," he replied, washing down the reply with a long swallow of beer.

"That bad?"

"I hate shrinks," Vin rasped, taking another swallow of beer.

"What'd he say?"

"She," Vin quickly corrected. "The department seems to think it'll be easier for me to talk to a woman than a man, considering what Browner tried to do. Idiots," he sneered. "Hell I don't want to talk to anybody about it, but I sure can't talk to a lady about it. The things he said...what he almost did...what he did do."

The pain in Vin's voice had Buck again wanting to kill Browner, slowly. He couldn't do that, not if he wanted to have a future with the man he loved, wanted to be here for him. That didn't keep him from the desire though. Hesitantly, he moved closer, carefully draping his arm over Vin's shoulders. "Did you ask if there was somebody else you could talk to?"

"Yeah I did, there isn't," Vin softly replied. Taking strength from the man beside him, he leaned closer. "Stupid huh?"

Surprised by the question, Buck didn't reply for a moment. It was almost a moment too long. He felt Vin beginning to pull away, in more ways than one. Quickly tightening his hold, he tugged him close again, "What do you think is stupid?"

"You're kidding?"

"Wouldn't ask if I knew what you meant?"

Vin looked up at him, searching his face for any sign of deception. Seeing none, he settled his head back on Buck's shoulder. "Me, acting like some kind of scared little kid over talking to a shrink."

"There ain't anything stupid about that Vin," Buck firmly and quickly vowed. "Aw Vin, don't you know most men would have fallen completely apart after what you've been through. Especially considering that it came on the heels of what I did."

"Don't Buck," Vin quickly cut him off. "We've been through this, I don't blame you for what happened. It wasn't you, it was Spencer that raped me, he just used your body to do it."

"Do you have any idea how amazing you are?" Buck asked in a choked voice. "I just wish it had never happened and that Browner hadn't gotten the chance to remind you of it."

"He didn't Buck." Vin saw the doubtful, guilty look on Buck's face, "I swear he didn't."

"I don't know how that can be."

"Because what he did to me was brutal and what he planned to do would have been just as brutal as the rest of it. What you did, under orders from Spencer, wasn't brutal or no more so than it had to be." Takes a breath, searching for the words he needed to take away the guilt the other man still felt for what had happened. "Buck, there's something you said a minute ago that I have to argue with."

"What's that?" Buck managed to ask.

"You said you wished it had never happened..."

"Now Vin, I'll believe a lot of things, but I won't ever believe you're glad it happened."

"I don't know if glad is exactly the right word, but if it hadn't happened we might never have known about each other. I mean, you weren't telling me ya was attracted to me because you were worried about messing up our friendship and I was keeping quiet for the same reason."

Buck smiled softly, understanding now what Vin meant. "I see what ya mean, and I'll say it again...you're an amazing man Vin Tanner."

"I ain't anything special Buck, just a man trying to make sense of his world."

"Well now sweetness, that's one I'm gonna have to argue with." Taking a chance, he brushed a kiss over Vin's temple as he held him tightly in his arms.

"Thanks Buck, too bad the department won't let me talk to you instead of that shrink."

"Any idea how long you'll have to see her?"

"Nah, you know how it goes Bucklin. I'll have to see her for however long her and the department thinks I need to. Sorry, I don't mean to whine about it..."

"Don't apologize Vin, I don't know a man alive that wants to talk to a shrink. It can help though, if you give it a chance."

"You talk like a man with experience."

"After Sarah and Adam died, the guilt was eating me alive. I tried to deal with it, mostly by trying to help Chris. Problem with that was, the only way I seemed able to help him was as his punching bag. Wasn't healthy for either one of us, Sarah's father made me realize that and talked me into getting some help for myself."

"And it helped?"

"Don't I seem well-balanced?" Buck asked, a twinkle in his eyes.

"You really want me to answer that?" Vin teased.

Buck pretended to think about that for a minute, "I guess maybe I don't."

"Chris ever go to see anybody?"

"I'm not sure, we lost contact for a couple of years. It was the best thing for us both, my shrink said we needed the distance. Guess he was right, when Chris came to see me about the ATF I could tell he was better than he had been. Then you joined the team and he really started coming out from behind those walls he'd built."

"I imagine you and time had more to do with it than me."

"Nah, trust me Vin, it was you. You became like a brother to him almost from the moment the two of you met. It was just what he needed," Buck assured him.

"Must have made you mad," Vin softly commented.

"It did, at first," Buck admitted. "I got over it pretty quick though, about the time I realized that it didn't matter who brought the old Chris back, as long as he was back. Well as much as he ever could be anyway."

"I don't reckon he'll ever be exactly the same. He couldn't be after something like that."

"No, he couldn't be." The sound of the phone ringing interrupted them. Reluctantly Buck let go of Vin and hurried inside. "Wilmington," he growled.

"Well hello to you too Buck," Chris replied. "Interrupt something?"

"What's up Chris?" he asked, ignoring the question. He couldn't help being glad that Chris couldn't see the blush that was covering his face, he'd never let him live it down. Imagine, him, Buck Wilmington, getting embarrassed over nothing more than holding Vin as they enjoyed a quiet conversation.

Chris noticed that Buck ignored the question, but he decided to let it go in favor of more important things than teasing his friend. "Tell Vin his plan worked."

"His plan? What plan?"

"To get Browner to talk, hell Buck you were there when he brought it up."

"I was?" Buck scratched his head, trying to remember such a conversation.

"He said dead men tell no tales, wouldn't I like to prove them wrong," Chris reminded him.

"That was a plan? Never mind, of course it was. Y'all did that silent communication thing again, didn't ya?"

Chris smirked, he knew it drove the rest of the team crazy when he and Vin did that. "Guess we did. Anyway, it worked, he talked."

"What'd he say?"

"Admitted that it was Dan Barnes that helped him and told us where to find the evidence that will prove it. He also agreed to testify against Barnes..."

"What did you have to promise him?" Buck nearly snapped. He had a bad feeling about this.

"He won't be tried for what he did to Vin, instead he'll be returned to Georgia to serve out his original sentence."

"Damn it Chris, that bastard needs to pay for what he did to Vin!"

"You think I like it Buck? I hate it, but it's the only thing we have to bargain with and I want Barnes to pay too. If it hadn't been for him, Browner wouldn't have been out of prison and able to hurt Vin or anybody else."

"Damn, I hate it when you're right."

"You'll tell Vin?"

"Yeah, I'll tell him. Chris?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for calling, talk to you later?"

"Sure thing, bye."

"What's up?" Vin asked from the doorway. He smiled when Buck jumped, "Sorry, didn't mean to startle ya?"

"That was Chris."

"Figured, what's up?"

"He said your plan worked," Buck replied. He was curious, wondering if Vin would understand what Chris had meant.

"Browner talked?"

"Damn, y'all have got to tell me how you do that."

"Buck."

Buck nodded, "He said it was Barnes that helped him, told Chris where to find the evidence to prove it. He also agreed to testify against him."

"In exchange for?"

"No charges for what he did to you," Buck reluctantly answered. "You say the word and I'm sure Chris would take back the offer."

Vin felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He should have seen that coming, after all it was the only thing Chris had to bargain with. He wanted to call Chris and tell him hell no! "Guess this means I won't have to testify about what he done," was what he finally said.

Buck didn't like the look on the younger man's face, he was entirely too pale and silently he cursed Chris for the deal he'd made. "No, I guess you won't," he responded. Stepping closer to Vin, he carefully pulled him into his arms. "You okay?"

"No, but I will be." Leaning against the taller man, he once again found himself gratefully drawing strength from his friend.

TBC

Hope y'all liked this chapter. Please feed the muse with reviews.


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I don't own The Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Slash

Rating: FRT

Lost

Chapter 22

With Browner's video taped confession and the documented evidence he gave them, bringing Dan Barnes to justice was an easy task. It wasn't necessary for Chris to be in Atlanta when the FBI arrested Barnes, they already had the confession, JD had emailed it to them along with copies of the documented evidence. Chris could have sent the originals by courier, but as Vin's friend he needed to be there when they interrogated Barnes. There was one more reason and that was the argument he had used to gain permission for both him and Ezra to personally deliver the evidence to Atalanta.

"Chris, what can I do for you?" Orrin asked, though he had his suspicions as to why Larabee was in his office.

"I want to deliver Browner's confession and the documents to Atlanta."

"Not wasting time, are you?"

"They need the evidence, no point wasting time."

Orrin motioned Chris to a chair and leaned forward, "Tell me what's really going on."

Chris sighed, shooting his boss a sheepish smile. "This guy, Barnes, is the one who started the rumors about Ezra. I think Ez deserves the chance to see the man who ruined his career with the FBI brought to justice. Besides, with everything that's happened, I'd feel better if we delivered the evidence instead of relying on a courier."

Orrin leaned back, thinking over what Chris had said. "Alright, I'm authorizing you and Standish to deliver the evidence. Also, in the interest of seeing that justice is carried out, I'm officially ordering the two of you to observe the interrogation of Agent Barnes, participating directly if you feel it's necessary." As he spoke, Orrin was busily writing out the orders that Chris would need. "I'll have Gloria type this up, you'll have it and your plane tickets within the hour."

"Thank you Orrin," Chris smiled, as he pushed himself to his feet and left the office.

Chris gave himself a mental shake, bringing him back to the present moment. Though it would have been unnoticeable to most, he could tell that Ezra was nervous about the upcoming meeting. "I've got your back Ez," he whispered to the other man as the doors to the elevator opened.

Ezra turned towards his boss and friend, the mask slipping for a second, letting his shock show, before he slammed it back in place. A small nod was his only outward acknowledgment of Chris' support, inwardly he was nearly jumping for joy. Until joining team seven, Ezra had rarely encountered anybody willing to offer their support, and none of them had ever come through for him when it was truly needed. Having so little experience with such loyalty and friendship, words such as the simple ones uttered by Chris, still had the power to awe him. Stepping into the offices of the Atlanta FBI, Ezra froze in his tracks. "Deputy Director Lawerence, I wasn't expecting to see you here sir."

Chris frowned, he didn't like the effect this man seemed to be having on his agent. Stifling a growl, he stepped forward, silently vowing that the feebies wouldn't find a way to blame this situation on Ezra. "Deputy Lawerence, I'm Chris Larabee, SAC of ATF team seven," he introduced himself, his hand extended.

"Agent Larabee," Lawerence greeted, shaking his hand. "Agent Standish, it's a pleasure to see you again," he smiled as he turned towards Ezra.

"Yes sir," Ezra nodded. Damn, why was he here? Surely he didn't expect that he could convince Ezra to return. "If I may inquire Deputy Lawerence, why are you here?"

Lawerence took a step back, faltering under the direct questioning that was so unlike the Ezra Standish he knew. "I understand that there is quite damning evidence concerning the guilt of Agent Barnes."

"There is," Ezra confirmed. "Are you here to sweep it under the rug?"

"No! I'm sorry," Doug Lawerence quickly apologized as several heads turned their way. "On the contrary, I am here to offer a formal apology to you Agent Standish and to tender an offer for your reinstatement in the bureau."

"Just like that?"

Doug winced, he couldn't blame the man for his skepticism, but still he hadn't expected quite that reaction. "Well, Barnes hasn't admitted that the rumors he spread were false, nor has he admitted to his role in the escape of Rupert Browner. However, given the evidence against him, there is no doubt that he is guilty which of course makes his allegations concerning your honesty suspect to say the least."

"What happens the next time somebody cast aspersions on my honesty?"

"Now Ezra, you know we have to investigate allegations..."

"Investigate? Nobody at the bureau investigated, if they had they would have found legitimate reasons for the lifestyle in which I conduct my private life. No sir, everybody in this office readily accepted the rumors which Barnes started. You all made it abundantly clear that you believed me to be corrupt, treating me accordingly. As they say, your apology and the offer of reinstatement is too little, too late. Now, I believe we have a suspect to interrogate."

The coldness of Ezra's cultured voice brought a chill to Chris' blood. He hated to hear that tone in Ezra's voice, recognizing it for the defense mechanism it was, hiding the hurt the undercover agent had felt over the betrayal of his former colleagues. "Is Barnes already in an interrogation room?" Chris asked, deflecting attention from Ezra and back to the case at hand.

"Yes he is, right this way," Lawerence replied. Turning away, he led the way down a long hall to the interrogation room.

"What is he doing here?" Barnes snarled when they walked into the room.

Ezra didn't reply, simply sliding into a seat at the long table, Chris taking the seat next to him.

"Agent Standish is a member of my team."

"Who the hell are you?" Barnes demanded.

"Agent Larabee, ATF. It was my team that caught Rupert Browner, after you helped him to escape justice," Chris growled.

Barnes turned to the Deputy Director, "Can't you see what's happening here? I'm being set up, Standish is just trying to get back at me for exposing him as a corrupt agent."

"Really Barnes, is that the best you can do," Ezra calmly responded before anybody else could. "If I were truly seeing revenge, why would I have waited all of this time?"

"Probably so nobody would suspect you of setting me up."

"Do tell, and how is it that I arranged for Rupert Browner to come to Denver? How did I arrange for his confession or the documentation he has attesting to your guilt?"

"He must be in on it with you," Barnes quickly countered.

"Of course, and he agreed to return to Atlanta, to serve our his original sentence, because...?"

Barnes bit his lip, damned wily bastard was doing it to him again. This was exactly the reason why he had started the rumors in the first place, his superior attitude grated on his nerves, making him the perfect choice for a scapegoat. "I don't know, maybe you threatened him. That's it, you must've threatened him," Barnes decided.

"That would have been an interesting trick, seeing as how Agent Standish wasn't involved in Browner's interrogation," Chris interjected.

"Give it up Barnes," Deputy Lawerence spoke up. "Your best option, given the evidence against you, is to confess and save the taxpayers some money, maybe the judge will be lenient in the sentencing."

"How lenient?"

"He might take ten years off your sentence," Lawerence tempted the other man.

"Ten years?"

"Yes," Lawerence confirmed.

"I want the sentence guranteed in writing before I agree to anything."

"Of course, and you will publicly apologize for the rumors you began about Agent Standish."

Barnes glanced thoughtfully at Ezra, apologize? To hell with it, the satisfaction he'd get from letting the doubts continue wasn't worth the extra ten years. "Deal."

"I'll make the arrangements," Lawerence stood.

"That Chris on the phone?" Vin asked. A grin spread across his face when Buck jumped a foot, hitting his head on the cabinet above the counter.

"Damn Vin, do you have to do that?"

"Do what?" Vin innocently asked.

"You know what," Buck playfully growled, rubbing his head.

"So, was it?"

"Was it...oh, yeah, it was Chris."

"Everything okay?"

"Barnes agreed to confess and publicly apologize to Ezra for the rumors he started, admitting that he did it to keep suspicion off himself. Chris also said that a Deputy Director Lawerence offered to reinstate Ezra."

Vin sighed, "What did Ezra say?"

Buck grinned, "He told Deputy Lawerence that the offer was too little, too late."

"Good for him. When are they coming home?"

"A couple of days."

Vin gave him a puzzled look, "Something going on?"

"I don't think so, Chris said Ezra has some investments in Atlanta that he wants to check on while he's there."

"Investments?"

"That's what Chris said," Buck confirmed. "Don't you have a therapy session?"

"Trying to get rid of me?"

"You know I'm not, now quit avoiding the question."

Vin dropped his head, "Yeah."

Buck crossed the room, wrapping his arms around the smaller man. "I know ya don't want to go Vin, but it's helping isn't it?"

"I suppose," came the soft reply.

"How about if I drive ya and after your appointment we can go to the saloon."

"I got a better idea, I'll meet you at the saloon when I'm done," Vin countered.

"You wouldn't be planning to skip your session, would ya?"

Vin supposed he should be offended by the question, and maybe he would have been if he hadn't known why Buck asked. He understood though, that Buck wasn't questioning his honesty, he simply recognized how much Vin hated going to the sessions. That knowledge made it easy to ignore the unintended insult, "No, just don't see any reason for you to spend an hour waiting around for me to be done."

"I don't mind," Buck quickly assured him. "Besides if I drive, then you can have a beer without worrying about it affecting your driving."

Vin had opened his mouth to protest that he minded when Buck continued. The other man's words had him pausing as he mulled it over. He had a point, the doctor did say that since he was only on mild painkillers he could have the occasional beer but that it would hit him harder than usual so he shouldn't drive afterwards. "I could probably use a beer after the session," he softly mumbled, more to himself than to Buck.

"Then you'll let me drive you?"

"Yeah, if you're sure you don't mind."

"Wouldn't have offered if I minded," Buck smiled. "We better get though if you're gonna make it on time." Reluctantly letting Vin go, he grabbed his keys from the hook by the door and led the way outside.

Vin came out of the psychiatrist's office and walked straight outside, not even glancing at Buck. Concerned for the younger man, Buck jumped to his feet and hurried after him. "Vin...Vin wait!" he called as the sharpshooter ignored him and kept on walking.

Vin turned around, "What?" he snapped.

Buck took a step back, surprised by the anger in his friend's voice. It was obvious by his tone and stance that now wouldn't be a good time to ask what was wrong. "I thought we were going to the saloon," he replied with the first thing he could think of.

"I'll meet you there."

"It's two miles from here Vin and you're still recovering..."

"I know that Buck! Ain't likely to forget either, but the worst injury is my hands and I don't walk on them, I'll be fine."

"You shouldn't..."

"Goddamn it Buck I'm an adult! I can make my own decisions!" Turning away, Vin stalked off, ignoring the calls that came from his friend as he walked across the parking lot to the street.

Buck watched Vin, his blue eyes filled with concern for the other man. He wanted to run after him, to drag him to his truck and make him accept a ride to the saloon. He didn't do that, no matter how much he might want to protect the younger man, he knew that right now it would only make Vin angrier. Sighing heavily, he walked to his truck and headed towards the saloon, driving slowly in order to keep Vin in sight. Maybe he couldn't keep Vin from walking to Inez's place, but he could make sure that he was available to help if needed.

Vin marched down the sidewalk, pointedly ignoring the truck that followed him. Damn them both! How dare they discuss him without his permission. Vin had always been a very private man, life had taught him early on that being open with others only provided them with a weapon to use against him. He knew, on some level, that they both meant well but he hated being talked about, hated having things revealed that he hadn't planned to tell anybody about.

The session had started out okay. They had talked some more about what Browner had done, the doctor insisting that he go into more detail about what happened to him. He hadn't been comfortable with it, would have avoided it if he could, but she insisted and so he talked. Then she had asked him about what had happened at Buck's apartment. The moment the words had left her mouth, Vin saw red! Damn him to hell! He had no right to tell her about that. None! Who the hell did he think he was? He thinks he's the man who loves you, a small voice whispered. Quickly he brushed the thought away. If he really loved me, he told himself, he wouldn't have gone behind my back like that. By the time he had walked the two miles to the saloon, Vin was only marginally calmer than when he'd started. Unconsciously he headed right for the team table. He wasn't surprised to see the rest of the team, sitting there, it was after all past five on a Friday afternoon. Sliding into his usual seat, he ordered a beer from the waitress.

Nathan scowled, "Vin you shouldn't..."

"Not a word Nathan." Vin quickly cut him off.

"You're still on painkillers Vin, ya shouldn't be drinking," Nathan tried again, ignoring his friend's words.

"Last time I checked you ain't my daddy so lay the hell off Nate," Vin growled, surprising Nathan into silence.

Just then Buck came up to the table, two beers in his hands. "Caught the waitress headed this way," he explained as he set one of the mugs in front of Vin.

"Thought you was looking out for him Buck," Nathan questioned, glaring at the beer.

"Doctor said he could have one beer and I'm driving," Buck defended himself.

"He did?"

"Yes Nathan he did, hell you don't think I'd let him have a beer if the doctor didn't say it was okay, do ya?"

Vin fumed as he listened to them talking about him like he wasn't even there. Downing his beer, he stood up and made his way to the bar. "Hey Inez, one more," he requested, sliding the mug across the bar.

"Si," Inez smiled. Quickly filling the mug, she handed it back to him. A frown crossed her pretty face as Vin downed the beer in three long swallows and asked for another. "Is everything alright senor?"

Vin might be angry, but he wouldn't take it out on Inez, or any other woman. His mother had taught him better than that. "Everything's fine Inez, just thirsty is all."

Inez nodded, handing him another beer. "If there is anything you would like to discuss, I am here," she softly offered.

"Thanks Inez, I appreciate that." Taking the beer, he walked back to the table, sliding back into his seat.

Buck frowned, "Didn't you finish that already?"

"Yep," Vin replied, taking a sip of his third beer.

"Vin you ain't supposed to have but one," Buck protested, grabbing the glass away from him.

"Give it back Buck," Vin ordered, jerking the glass out of his hand.

"No," Buck calmly responded. Taking the glass one more time, he quickly drank it, ending the argument.

"You son of a bitch, who the hell do you think you are?"

Buck stared at Vin, shocked by his behavior and anger. Luckily he had spent plenty of time dealing with Chris' drunken rages. "I think I'm your friend Vin," he calmly replied.

"Vin you don't need to talk to Buck like that, he's just looking out for you," JD added.

"Looking out for me? Who asked him to? Didn't ask none of y'all to look out for me, I can take care of myself. Don't need friends, they just stab ya in the back anyway," Vin's tirade ended with a choked sound.

Buck ignored the puzzled, curious looks from his teammates. "I think I better get you home," he quietly said as he stood up and pulled Vin to his feet.

"Don't want to go home with you," Vin argued, stumbling against his chair as he pulled away from him.

Buck sighed, "Where do you want to go then?"

"Want to go to my home," Vin slurred, the mixture of adrenaline, beer and painkillers rapidly catching up to him. Vin blinked as the room began to spin around him; before he had the chance to say another word his knees buckled as the world went dark.

Recognizing the signs, Buck was ready for it as he smoothly caught the smaller man in his arms. Cradling him to his chest, he kneeled on the floor, waiting for Nathan to check him over.

"His pulse is steady, breathing's fine. I think the fool's going to be fine, not counting the hangover he'll have tomorrow," Nathan pronounced. "You best get him home Buck."

"You have any idea what that was about brother Buck?" Josiah asked.

Buck thought about it, now that Vin wasn't ranting at him he could take the time to think over the words that had been thrown at him. Oh hell, "I think I might Josiah, but I probably better not say anything until I talk to Vin."

"Fair enough," Josiah nodded. "Just remember we're here if needed, and I mean if either of you needs us."

"I'll remember Josiah, thanks." With a helping hand from Josiah and Nathan, he pushed his way to his feet. Holding Vin close, he left the bar and headed home, knowing that the conversation which had begun here was far from over.

TBC

Sorry it took so long for an update, had finals to study for and I just cannot work on creative endeavors when I'm stressed. Hope y'all liked it, please feed the muse with reviews.


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I don't own the Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Slash

Rating: FRT

Lost

Chapter 23

Vin moaned, his arm coming up to cover his eyes as the sunlight streaming through the window stabbed into them. What the hell had he done? Rolling to his side, he cautiously lowered his arm, slowly opening his eyes. The light still brought pain, but it was at a tolerable level now. Glancing around the room, he was surprised to find himself in his own apartment. Hadn't he been staying at Buck's? Buck! It all came flooding back, the memories slamming into him with the force of a Mack truck. Squeezing his eyes shut, Vin tried and failed to block out the pain of the betrayal.

"Vin?" Buck quietly called as he pushed open the bedroom door. He had started to take Vin to his place last night, but had quickly thought better of it. Stopping at his house only long enough to grab Vin's medications and a change of clothes for himself, he had brought his friend to his own apartment. He figured it was the least he could do after opening his mouth to the shrink. He hadn't meant to do it, he really hadn't, but he didn't suppose that would make much difference to Vin.

"Go away," Vin moaned.

"Be right back," Buck informed him. Hurrying back to the kitchen, he quickly whipped up his own guaranteed hangover cure.

Vin groaned, burying his face in the pillow. Where's my gun? Hell, wouldn't do any good Tanner, you couldn't hit the broad side of a barn if you were inside the thing right now. Shut up! Lord, he hated that little voice, especially when it was right, and why did it always sound like Larabee?

"Here ya go Vin," Buck grinned as he squatted beside the bed.

Vin turned his head, peeling his eyes open he looked at the blurry, grinning face. Bet I could hit him, the thought getting a chuckle from him. "Go 'way Buck," he whined.

"I will, just as soon as you drink this," Buck said, holding out a glass.

Vin gave the glass a doubtful look, "What is it?"

"A hangover cure, guaranteed."

"What's in it?"

"Just drink it Vin, I promise you'll feel better."

He wasn't sure how much Buck's promises were worth at the moment, but he really wanted his head to stop pounding. Propping himself up on his elbow, he grabbed the glass and took a large gulp. Holding the glass away from him, he eyed it with surprise. That had to be the first hangover cure he'd ever had that tasted good, and damned if he didn't feel a little better already. Quickly drinking the rest of it down, he handed the glass back to Buck. "Thanks."

"You're welcome sw...Vin," Buck softly responded, biting off the term of endearment. "Feel better?"

"Yeah, what's in that anyway?"

"Half Bulgarian buttermilk, half V8 juice and a touch of tobasco sauce. Tasty isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is," Vin agreed.

"Feel like eating something now?"

Vin was surprised to find that the thought of food actually sounded good, but a shower sounded even better. "Maybe after a shower."

"You do that and I'll start breakfast," Buck offered.

"Okay," Vin agreed. He needed to talk to Buck, but that could wait until after he had eaten.

Thirty minutes later, Vin walked into the kitchen. "Smells good," he commented as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Thanks, just scrambled eggs, toast and hash browns."

Vin nodded and sat down at the table as Buck slid his plate in front of him. "You eating?"

"Already had mine," Buck replied. Turning away, he started washing dishes while Vin ate. He knew they needed to talk, but he was more than willing to wait.

Vin finished his food and carried his dishes to the sink, slipping them into the water. "We need to talk Buck."

Buck hung his head, "I know."

"I'll be in the living room."

Buck nodded. Delaying as long as he could, he slowly washed the last of the dishes, wiped off the table, counter top and stove; he could delay no longer. Heaving a sigh, he tossed the dishrag on the sink and headed into the living room.

Vin looked up as Buck walked into the room, motioning to the couch, he waited for him to take a seat. "Why did you do it Buck?"

"I didn't mean to."

"Didn't mean to? How can you not mean to tell something that wasn't your place to tell? It ain't like breaking a glass Buck," Vin growled.

Buck nodded. Forcing himself to meet Vin's eyes, he tried to explain. "She called to see how you were doing and we started talking. I never planned to tell her about what happened between us Vin, I knew you didn't want that brought up."

"Then why did you tell her?" Vin demanded.

Buck took a deep breath, "I let slip that I was glad what Browner did hadn't brought up bad memories. That got her wondering what I meant," he paused, scrubbing a hand through his thick hair. "I didn't know what to do at that point, but I finally decided that it'd be better to tell her what I meant than to have her thinking there was something even deeper, like childhood stuff."

"So you told her?" Vin asked. "Why didn't you tell me? At least then I wouldn't have gotten blind-sided."

"She swore she wouldn't say anything to you, or I would have warned you."

Vin sighed, he should've known it was more the shrink than Buck that had betrayed him. He never had trusted them, "You think she'll say anything to Travis?"

"She better not," Buck growled. Softening his tone, he cautiously reached over, giving Vin's knee a squeeze. "I am sorry Vin, I never meant to betray your trust. Maybe," he paused, swallowing hard. "Maybe you'd be better off if I left you alone."

Vin watched Buck carefully, torn between forgiveness and condemnation of the other man. He knew Buck was sincere in his feelings and he could see that the older man felt horrible for what he'd done. Leaning his head back against the chair, he closed his eyes, letting his mind wander, hoping it would lead him to the answer he needed. Images from the first time he'd met Buck right up to last night flashed through his mind. With few exceptions, and those were all in the first few months of their friendship, every picture his mind showed him involved Buck taking care of him in some way. It wasn't always something big, sometimes it was as simple as bringing him a cup of coffee when he was feeling exhausted, but he had been there for him each time he needed him. Opening his eyes, he looked at the big man, the last bit of his anger leaving as he took in the dejected picture his friend presented. "Buck."

"Yeah?" Buck asked, never lifting his eyes from the floor.

"I don't want you to leave me alone," Vin softly spoke as he reached for Buck's hand.

His ears must be playing tricks on him, but if that were true then why would Vin have hold of his hand? "You don't?"

"I don't," Vin confirmed. "I won't say I ain't mad about what ya did, but it was an accident, you're forgiven"

Buck stared at Vin, shocked and humbled by the younger man's ability to forgive. Silently he swore that he would do all he could to make sure his friend would never have a need to forgive him again. "I don't deserve your forgiveness Vin, but thank you."

"The shrink on the other hand, I'm done with. Don't say it Buck," Vin warned, holding up his hand to stave off any protests the other man might make. "I don't give a damn what the regs are, I'm not going to talk to somebody who doesn't respect my right to privacy. You might've let something slip that ya shouldn't have, but she never should have talked to you about me in the first place. Can you give me a ride to, damn it's Saturday."

"Planning to confront her?"

"I already did that, told her exactly what I thought of her talking behind my back that way. I was gonna go see Travis, guess it'll have to wait for Monday." Vin sighed, leaning his head back. He had really wanted to talk to him while he was still mad about the whole thing, knowing it'd be harder for the older man to talk him out of his decision it he was still angry. Well, nothing to be done about it now and he'd still be plenty mad come Monday.

"Not necessarily, we could go to his house," Buck suggested.

"Wouldn't be right to interrupt his time with his family," Vin protested.

"Vin if you don't talk to him now this is gonna eat at ya all weekend," Buck pointed out. "What about this? You call him and see if he could meet us at that little diner near his place."

"That might work, you mind driving?"

"No problem."

"Thanks." Picking up the phone, he dialed the Travis' home. The judge quickly agreed, though he insisted that they come to his house instead. Though he hated to intrude on his time at home, Vin agreed when the judge pointed out that they'd have more privacy if they were at his house.

The drive to the Travis' didn't take long and soon the three men were settled in the judge's home office.

"Now then Vin, what can I do for you?" Orrin asked.

"I want to be cleared for duty sir."

Orrin steepled his fingers, looking over them at the younger man, surprise and concern evident in his eyes. It wasn't like Vin Tanner to ask for special favors. "That isn't up to me son, you know that."

"You know I ain't ever asked for favors judge, but I'm asking now."

"Why?"

"I won't go back to that shrink..."

"If it's a problem with the doctor you're seeing, there are others you can see."

"No! Sorry," Vin apologized, lowering his voice, "but I'm not talking to any of them any more. I always knew they couldn't be trusted, and now I got proof of it."

"What do you mean?" Orrin asked, his eyes narrowing speculatively.

Vin sighed, glancing at Buck. "She talked to Buck about me, got some information out of him that didn't have anything to do with what Browner did."

"She what?" Orrin yelled. "Is this true Buck?" he asked, turning to the other man.

"Yes sir," Buck confirmed. "I don't deny that I messed up, but she shouldn't have asked anything either."

Orrin frowned, "No she shouldn't have," he agreed. "I can't clear you for duty though Vin, not without an okay from one of the department psychiatrists."

"There's exceptions to every rule judge, I'm just asking you to make one."

"Won't you even consider seeing somebody else?" Orrin tried again. He couldn't blame the younger man for not trusting, but he was concerned for him, leading him to try all he could to convince him to talk to another therapist.

"No sir," Vin firmly replied. "You can either okay me for duty or I can resign."

"I see, could I have the weekend to consider?"

"I reckon I can give you that much," Vin agreed.

"Thank you Vin. I don't suppose you'd tell me what...no, you wouldn't," he answered his own question as he saw the blue eyes turn cold before he had finished asking.

"Thank you sir," Vin softly rasped as he pushed himself to his feet. Shaking the older man's hand he turned and left the room.

"Mr. Wilmington," Orrin called as Buck turned to follow Vin.

"Yes sir?"

"I know Vin has been staying with you while he recovers."

"He has."

"I'm not asking you to betray any confidences, but you're in the best position to judge his mental state. Do you think he's ready for active duty?"

Buck carefully thought over the question. "Yes sir I think he is."

"You're not just saying that because of your friendship and whatever guilt you may feel over this situation with the doctor?"

"No I ain't judge," Buck quickly denied. "Vin's doing real good. Frankly, in his case, I think he's better off talking to his friends than to some stranger anyway."

"Hmmmm, you may be right Buck. Well, you best get going and thank you for your help."

"You're welcome." Turning away, Buck followed in Vin's wake.

They were barely through the door when the phone began to ring. "Wilmington," Buck greeted the caller.

"Buck, Orrin Travis here. Could I speak to Vin?"

"Yes sir," Buck replied. Holding out the phone to Vin, he whispered the identity of the caller.

"Hello?"

"Vin, I've thought over your request and I'm willing to let you return to active duty, with a couple of conditions."

"Conditions?"

"You don't have to see a therapist, but I wouldn't feel right letting you go back to full duty unless I'm sure it's in your best interests." Orrin didn't point out that with the bandages still on his hands, Vin couldn't physically return to full duty anyway.

"I think I can decide..."

"No son, you can't decide," Orrin interrupted him. "I'll let you back on light duty, if you agree to talk to Josiah. When he determines that you're ready for the stress of full duty then I'll agree to it."

"Josiah?" Vin mulled it over, it still meant talking to somebody about things he'd rather not deal with, but at least Josiah already knew what had happened. More importantly, Josiah had earned the trust he found it hard to give. "I accept judge, thank you."

"You're welcome Vin, I'll make the arrangements, you just be at work Monday morning. Good-bye."

Vin hung up the phone and turned to Buck, quickly filling him in on Travis' decision.

"What about your hands?"

Vin looked down at his fingers, shaking his head with a sheepish grin. "Hell, no wonder he wouldn't agree to full duty. I was so damned mad about the shrink I forgot all about my fingers."

"Don't feel too bad Vin, I forgot too," Buck consoled him. "When did the doctor say the bandages would be coming off?"

"A couple more weeks if everything goes well."

Buck smiled, "Are we still on for dinner and dancing when the bandages come off?"

"You bet," Vin grinned.

Chris walked into the bullpen Monday morning, he was almost sorry to be back. "Hey Buck, Vin," he greeted as he headed to his private office. Just inside the door, he stopped and turned around. "Aren't you supposed to still be recovering?" he asked.

"I'm on light duty," Vin replied.

"When did that happen?"

"Over the weekend, had a talk with Travis."

Chris narrowed his eyes, "Going over my head?"

"Nope, but you weren't here and I wasn't gonna wait."

"What happened?"

Vin explained the events that had happened, beginning with his therapy appointment on Friday. "It's all been straightened out now, no need for you to shoot anybody cowboy," he teased.

"What makes you think I was going to?"

"Name Chris Larabee?"

"Yeah."

"That's what makes me think it," Vin grinned.

"You're first on the list Tanner," Chris growled.

"You and Ezra have fun in Atlanta?" Vin asked, changing the subject.

"Don't know about fun, learned a few things about our undercover agent though."

"And...?"

"Know where his money comes from now," Chris replied, giving no further details. A smile spread over his face as he imagined the surprise of the others, especially Nathan, if they knew the truth about Ezra. He could easily imagine the looks, knowing his own face had worn such a look when Ezra's investments turned out to include an orphanage and a homeless shelter dedicated to helping people back onto their feet rather than just providing food and shelter. The easy way Ezra interacted with the people at the shelter had shown Chris a whole new level to the other man. Once the shock had worn off, he had asked Ezra for more details. He had fully expected Ezra to shoot him a scathing look and refuse to answer. He had been pleasantly surprised when he was offered an explanation. He was quietly told that Ezra's father had come from money, old money; his family looking down on Maude from the beginning. When he had died, as his only son, Ezra had inherited everything his father had owned, which had been placed into a trust fund until he came of age. Thanks to the tutelage of his mother and a couple of his many step-father's, by the time Ezra had access to his inheritance he was well-versed in money management. Turning the substantial inheritance into an even larger sum, Ezra had used some of the earnings to set up the orphanage and homeless shelter, though he hadn't explained why.

"You gonna tell us stud?" Buck asked, interrupting his thoughts.

"Nope," Chris replied with a grin.

"Now Chris that just ain't right," Buck complained.

"Ain't gonna talk about the man when he ain't here Buck. If Ezra wants anybody else to know, he can tell them." Not giving Buck time to ask anymore questions, Chris turned and went back into his office.

Two weeks later, Vin returned to the office on a Friday afternoon, a slip of paper clutched in his hand. Marching straight to Chris' office, he barely acknowledged the other men as greetings were called out. He didn't bother to knock, but simply pushed the door open and stepped inside. "When can I come back to full duty?" he asked, tossing the paper on the desk.

Chris picked up the paper, reading it over with a smile. "I suspected this was going to happen today, that's why I talked to Josiah while you were gone. Monday too soon for you?"

Vin grinned, "Monday's great, thanks cowboy."

"Why don't you go ahead and knock off; take Buck with you."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it's almost five anyway and we don't have anything happening."

"Thanks Chris." Turning around, Vin wasted no time in approaching Buck to relay his news. "Hey Bucklin," he softly greeted the other man.

"Hey Vin. You look like you're in a good mood."

"I am, the doctor released me, I'm back on full duty starting Monday."

"That's great news Vin," Buck grinned.

"So where we going for dinner?"

Buck's smile grew, if that were possible. "How's Italian sound?"

"Sounds good," Vin replied. "Chris said we could go ahead and knock off for the day."

"Hell, what are we waiting for?" Quickly turning off his computer, he practically dragged Vin from the office, much to the amusement of the others and the embarrassment of the sharpshooter.

A few hours later, Vin had forgotten all about his embarrassment as he stared into the deep blue eyes of his dance partner. Dinner had been great, the restaurant Buck had chosen filled with soft candlelight and gentle music, giving the simplest meal an air of romance. It paled in comparison though to being held in the strong arms of the other man as they danced around the floor of the club Vin had brought them to. They had danced to nearly every song since they had stepped through the doors. Stopping only when thirst drove them from the floor, neither man could get enough of being in the other's arms. Wrapping his hand around the back of Buck's neck, he pulled him down for a deep kiss. "Let's go home Bucklin," he rasped.

The sound of Vin's sexy whisper sent a thrill through Buck, making him want to throw the other man down and ravage him that very moment. "You sure sweetness?"

"What's that tell you?" Vin asked, pushing his groin up against Buck's leg.

"You're sure," Buck grinned. The trip home was made in record time as Buck broke at least half a dozen traffic laws in his hurry to get his soon to be lover home. Climbing out of the truck, he hurried to the front door. By the time Vin joined him, he had the door unlocked, leaving him free to scoop the smaller man into his arms, carrying him over the threshold and up the stairs to his bedroom.

The ringing of the phone woke them the next morning, both men pleasantly sated after a night of passionate love making. "Whoever this is it better be important," Buck growled into the phone.

"Good morning to you too Buck," Chris greeted.

"Chris," Buck sighed. "What's up stud?"

"Just wanted to remind you and Vin about tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Buck asked, pretending he didn't know what the other man was talking about.

"Damn it Buck..." Chris began, biting off his tirade when he heard laughter coming from the phone. "Very funny Buck. You just make sure you and Vin are there tomorrow for Ezra's birthday dinner. I got everything arranged, he's gonna be real surprised when we pull up at his favorite restaurant and the whole team is there to celebrate his birthday."

"Don't worry Chris, we'll be there," Buck assured him. "Good-bye stud." Hanging up the phone, he turned to the man in the bed beside him, wrapping his arms around him.

"Ezra's birthday dinner?" Vin asked.

"Yep, Chris wanted to make sure we didn't forget. He's awful cute when he's in love," Buck grinned.

"How long you figure it'll take him and Ezra to figure it out?"

"Hard to say, maybe we should take bets," Buck joked.

Vin chuckled, "Maybe...right now though I got better things to do than talk about Chris and Ezra's love life." Lowering his head, he kissed Buck deeply, his hands roaming over his lover's body.

"I like the way you think sweetness," Buck moaned. Rolling the smaller man onto his back, he proceeded to ravage the beautiful young man beneath him, thanking God for the gift of Vin Tanner.

The end.

Yep, it's over. I want to thank SJ, she made a remark in one of her reviews which led to Buck and Vin's conversation concerning bets on Chris and Ezra's relationship. Never know what a remark you make in a review might lead to. Hope y'all liked it. Please review and let me know.

A/N: The hangover cure is one my husband introduced me to over 20 years ago. He swears by it and though he no longer needs it for hangovers, he still drinks it just for the taste.


End file.
